


Sweet Spot

by DaisySouthmoore



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Action, Angry Sex, Choking, Daddy Kink, Daddy Negan, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Multiple Orgasms, Negan's Thirst Squad, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Punishment, Romance, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Smut, Spanking, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-02-16 12:30:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 53,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisySouthmoore/pseuds/DaisySouthmoore
Summary: “Lucille… I can still feel you. When I hold this bat in my hands I swear I can feel your skin again. When I bring the hard weight of it down on some fucker’s skull I can feel you drink the fuckin’ life out of them. It feels like we’re fucking.”





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Based off my previous fic ‘Little Bird’. Only this time, it’s told from the perspective of Daddy Negan himself. This one holds up on its own with new content but you should definitely read the original for the full effect!
> 
> -Dedicated to my buddy lacyrakastan (who came up with this idea) and anyone else who has encouraged me to keep writing! Thank you!

When I was a kid I was just another fuckin’ name on a piece of paper. A number on a ticket that got tossed aside and lost in the foster care system. I was just one of thousands of fuckin’ ‘invisible kids’. And yeah, that shit is sad. Yeah, it fuckin’ sucked. Yeah, I have some pretty fuckin’ serious trust and detachment issues. Maybe a couple emotional and physical traumas that could explain why I’m such a cruel, heartless son of a bitch. -But it’s not so fuckin’ bad.

You see, the thing about being an invisible kid is you learn to fend for your fuckin’ self. You’re forced to become a fly on the wall and you see the world from a view that’s not skewed or sugarcoated. No one can bull shit you. Fairytales are nothing more than fuckin’ fairytales. Hallmark holiday specials are a fuckin’ joke. Invisible kids understand that these are all just little white lies the rest of the world tells themselves to forget the cold, hard-dick reality that fear, suffering, and death have _always_ fuckin’ been here. The only difference is now-a-days it’s clawing and sometimes shooting its way directly up your ass and it’s kinda hard to ignore.

Now, I know that is depressing as shit to hear but it’s the fuckin’ truth. It’s _my_ fuckin’ truth anyway but I’m not wallowing in my fuckin’ misery. I’m not begging for fuckin’ mercy or pleading for your fuckin’ sympathy. Fuck no! I’ve learned to harness this shit that was handed to me and I use it to my advantage. I mean, look at me now! I’m all grown up and I’m sure as shit not invisible! 

You _know_ my fuckin’ face! You _know_ my fuckin’ name!

-And _this_ shit? This post-apocalyptic world we live in is not so unknown and uncivilized to me. It’s what we’ve always been. Humans are just glorified animals and lucky for me, I’ve been observing them my whole fuckin’ life. Humans will do whatever the fuck you want if you know how to play the fuckin’ game and I’m so fuckin’ good at this shit that I’ve got it down to a fuckin’ science.

Find their weaknesses and the things that get them tickin’. If they try to fuck with you, you take that weakness and rip it to fuckin’ shreds. For this, body language is fuckin’ key. They will tell you every fuckin’ thing you need or want to know, you just have to know where to look. -But only kill when you have to. Occasionally, when you really, _really_ fuckin’ want to. Choose wisely though, because here’s the thing about humans; We travel in packs. We thrive in numbers. Lure them with the promise of protection and all the spoils they desire. Control them with the promise of brutal fuckin’ punishment if they ever fall outta line. Keep those fuckin’ promises. 

This method is fuckin’ full proof. With this method I will fuckin’ take the world that was never fuckin’ handed to me. I _am_ the fuckin’ alpha and omega. Unfortunately, I’m also still human, just like you, and because of that I have a weakness too. A sweet spot, if you will. It first came to me in the form of a woman. A woman named Lucille. -Or as I sometimes liked to call her, ‘Little Bird’.


	2. I Need To Know You

You know what really gets my dick hard? Order and control. I like when everything is in its rightful place and that shit is evident in everything I do. I am a ‘creature of habit’, as they say, but I don’t do so mindlessly. Everything I do serves a purpose.

For instance, I wear the same get up every single fuckin’ day. A crisp white shirt, practical yet well fitted gray pants, heavy duty boots, and a leather jacket for the ladies. -Actually, it’s for the walkers because it’s harder for their teeth to cut, but let’s be honest here, nothin' gets the pussies purrin’ like a leather-clad bad boy. Anyway, top that off with my handy baseball bat and this is my uniform and my uniform is important. It distinguishes me from the rest of the crowd. It signifies power and authority. And besides that, I look fuckin’ good.

All that being said, I fuckin’ _hate it_ when shit does not go according to my plans. When shit is _not_ in order and _not_ in control. One particular morning things seemed to be just fuckin’ dandy. My boys and I were trekkin’ out the miles around the homestead. Simon and I were lookin’ for a good spot to set up a new outpost to keep the perimeters in check. We found a gem. A run-down motel lodge tucked away all by its lonesome just a little ways past a bridge. The bridge was collapsed which I figured we could use to our advantage. Anyone who happened upon that route would have a hard time gettin’ in and a worse time gettin’ out when shit hit the fan. I sent my boys to scope that shit out. 

“Clear this fuckin’ place. Take whatever goods you can find. If there are any breathers left in there let’s take em’ home too.” I ordered over my radio and not a moment later I could feel the truck shake as they hopped off the tailgate.  
“‘Breathers’ sir?” Joey’s dumb ass came waddlin’ up to my window.  
“ _People_ you fuckin’ moron! Anyone with a fuckin’ pulse!” I rolled my eyes.  
“Oh. Got it.” He saluted and waddled on.  
“How the hell has he made it this far?” Simon sighed behind the steering wheel.  
“He’s a fuckin’ miracle.” I said.  
“Is that what miracles look like?” Simon scoffed as Joey tripped and stumbled past the front end of the truck and we laughed. 

Without hesitation, Simon hopped out of the driver's seat and led the way. That’s what I like about Simon. He takes initiative but in the end, he knows his fuckin’ place. I trust his judgment almost as much as my own because we’re like-minded. That’s why I made him my first Lieutenant. My ‘right-hand-man’. -That, and he makes me laugh.

To get past the gap, they used a ladder and laid it over to cross. I just kicked my boots up on the dash and observed. One of the perks of bein’ the fuckin’ boss man is my safety is a top priority. I don’t bother with shit like this. I only put my neck out on the line when I fuckin’ have to or when I’m bored or some shit. 

A little while later I wasn’t surprised when I heard gunfire. There was bound to be a few of those dead fuckers lingering in there. I just turned up the truck's stereo a notch and whistled along to Canned Heat’s ‘On The Road Again’ but that moment didn’t last long. Those slack-jawed mother fuckers sniffed us out. The noise alerted more of them and they came slinking out of the tree line. It was just a handful at first, but a handful turned into an ass load. It was a fuckin’ hoard. 

“Goddammit. Are you seein’ this shit Simon?” I called over the radio.  
“Yeah, I see them. Should we start spraying them down?” He asked. I took a moment to think before sliding over to the driver's seat.  
“Nah. Don’t waste the ammo. Lure them over to the bridge here. Let it do the work for us.” I said, starting up the truck again and honking the horn.  
“Haha… Well, that’s just genius.” He said.  
“Yeah, it’s kinda my thing.” I smirked.

I backed up the truck a bit closer to the bridge so the boys could load their shit up a little faster. A little while later Simon came back and joined me. We stood beside the tailgate and watched as the Saviors shouted and continued to guide the walkers toward us. One by one they gathered their loot and crossed the makeshift bridge. The plan was goin’ fuckin’ swimmingly and I praised every one of them as they passed.

“Look, look, look! It’s another miracle!” Simon pointed and we watched as Joey shook and wobbled his big ass over the ladder.  
“Watch your step! Don’t fuck it up!” I hollered.  
“Almost there big boy!” Simon carried on before Joey finally made it safely across.  
“Well, I’ll be damned, Fat Joey! You live to see another fuckin’ day!” I gave him a fist bump and slapped his shoulder as he huffed past us.

Meanwhile, the last of the boys were cuttin’ it fuckin’ close. The hoard was closing in. They were rushing to cross and I could see the ladder shifting too close to the edge. I shouted for them to hold it but the sound of the gunfire and growling corpses was too fuckin’ loud for them to hear me. 

While Simon and the others worked on controlling the walkers, I rushed over and secured the ladder beneath the weight of my boot while lending a hand. A guy named Jason tried to take his turn in quick, long strides but his foot caught. His leg slipped through the steps and the ladder fuckin’ caved. He was a lanky fuckin’ dude but he damn near took me down with him. I was hangin’ off the fuckin’ edge, barely holdin’ on, but I was able to keep a firm grip on his forearm. A piece of fuckin’ rod iron pierced my damn chest in the process. Simon was by my side in fuckin’ seconds and he helped me pull Jason up to safety. My remaining Saviors weren’t so fuckin’ lucky. They were trapped now and the hoard fuckin’ swallowed them before they poured over the edge of the bridge. If they survived the fall at all they were fuckin’ brunch. All we could do was watch it like it was Niagara fuckin’ Falls.

***

I was mad as shit by the time we got back to my Sanctuary. I’d counted and in the end, I’d lost six god damned Saviors. Now that might not sound like a whole lot in the grand scheme of shit, but every fuckin’ Savior lost is a fuckin’ waste. People are hard to fuckin’ come by these days and I’m trying to build a fuckin’ army. Not to mention, I choose my Saviors wisely. Each one of them possesses and hones some sort of valuable skill that contributes to my badassery. A loss is a fuckin’ loss and I don’t like to fuckin’ lose.

Simon could tell I was pissed so he didn’t bother me with mundane questions. He just did his fuckin’ job and took over for me by wrapping up the rest of the morning trip. He assigned a couple of the boys to haul Jason to the infirmary and I followed behind them. I figured Dr. Bran should probably have a look at the fuckin’ gaping wound in my chest before I bled the fuck out.

I always liked ‘Ol’ Man Bran’. He wasn’t intimidated by me like the others but he kept his mouth shut and he minded his own damn business. All he gave a shit about was his job and he was damn good at it. For that reason, I pretty much gave him free reign over his infirmary, so I hadn’t realized he’d hired himself an assistant until I arrived but boy did he. 

Hell, when I laid eyes on her I forgot what the fuck I was mad about. She was cute as _fuck_! A little bitty thing but she was fuckin’ stacked! Maybe not so much in her tits. Best I could tell through her sweater, they were about average sized, but her _ass_!? _Goddamn!_ That shit was outta this fuckin’ world! It was nice and round. Shaped like a perfect heart. When she bent over I damn near shed a fuckin’ tear. I had to snag one of Bran’s lollipops just to give my teeth somethin’ to bite on. I wasn’t her only admirer though. My Saviors were lickin’ their chops too while they stood around watchin’ her work. They were crampin’ up the fuckin’ joint so I sent them away for an unimpeded view while I got myself patched up.

“Why don’t you take care of our friend Negan over there? I can handle this.” Dr. Bran suggested to her. That beautiful old bastard.  
“-Wait, me?” She hesitated and her ass got a little tighter but she did what she was told. I liked that. 

While she tiptoed across the room I took another good, long look up and down the short length of her body. She had to pull up a chair to reach a shelf for another suture kit. That shit was adorable! I couldn’t help myself when I laughed at her and offered a helping hand. I did my best to be a gentleman, but her ass looked even better from this angle. She almost caught me staring when she turned to me looking scared at first but she accepted my hand.

While I helped her down from the chair I got a better look at her face. It was cute too but I was drawn to her eyes. That shit sorta took my breath away. They were big and wide, a bright sorta gold-ish green color that turned more turquoise toward the edges. The one on the right had a few flecks of bronze in it. They looked like they’d seen some shit too. I mean, by now, we’d all seen some shit but hers were different. There was somethin’ darker hidden in them. Somethin’ dangerous. I could tell because it looked somethin’ like me.

I took a seat on the examination table and when she told me to take off my shirt I teased her. It made her blush. I realized it was actually pretty easy to make her blush so I kept fuckin’ with her. While she worked on my stitches I watched her. The way she nibbled her full, pink lips while she concentrated sorta tickled my balls. I imagined what they’d look like wrapped around my dick and I got a little preview when she looked up at me. Oh, if she only knew the kind of filthy shit happenin’ in my mind in that moment. I just bounced my brows at her and grinned. She blushed again.

By the time she was done she was shakin’ in her little boots. The poor thing looked so damn helpless that I had to cut her a fuckin’ break. So I gathered my shit and praised my Savior Jason for his hard work before I left. As I made my way down the hall I thought about making her a wife but I already had five of them and we needed all the help we could get in the infirmary. Those eyes though. I wanted to know more about them.

***

The next day I went back to the infirmary around lunch time. I figured Bran’s fine assed assistant would be gone and I’d use that time to grill him for some info about her. I didn’t show up empty handed though. I brought him a bottle of scotch and a club sandwich for the trouble. The man was smart though, so when I came in wielding gifts he looked suspicious. Rightfully so, I guess.

“Hey, Doc!” I grinned.  
“Afternoon, Negan.” He said shortly.  
“I brought you a little somethin’. A reward for all the hard work you do around here.” I lied and by the look behind his thin wired glasses, he knew that damn well.  
“Thank you, but that’s not necessary. My job is rewarding enough.” He said.  
“Just fuckin’ take it.” I rolled my eyes and tossed him the sandwich. He watched as I leaned on his desk and poured us each a serving of scotch in the flimsy paper cups he kept for patients.  
“My apologies, but I’m a vegetarian and I’m afraid I don’t drink.” He said setting the sandwich aside. I could tell by his tone that he was being honest and I wasn’t gonna force it down the poor fucker’s throat.  
“Fuck it. I do.” I pounded both cups and sighed the burn of alcohol away.  
“How are your stitches?” He asked urging me to the point.  
“Good. Damn good. Your little nurse did a fine job.” I said as I took a seat across from him but he said nothing. “Kinda young for a ripe ol’ man like you though isn’t she?” I asked and he laughed inwardly.  
“I’m afraid you’ve misread my intentions. I chose her because she’s sharp and she learns quickly. I’m hoping to make her a successor of the infirmary as I am indeed growing ripe.” He smiled politely at my jab.  
“Well, that’s a fine idea Doc. Good lookin’ out for the Sanctuary. You really did earn that fuckin’ sandwich.” I smirked. “So what’s your successor’s name?” I asked.  
“Lucille.” He said.  
“Lucille… Did you happen to run a little background check on Lucille? A wise man like you wouldn’t hire a girl without learnin’ a little more about her first would you?” I asked.  
“I did.” He nodded.  
“And?” I leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees while I fiddled with my bat.  
“I found nothing to be wary of.” He said honestly.  
“-But did you find anything interesting?” I went on.  
“Nothing of interest either.” He rearranged the glasses on his age-spotted face.  
“Nothin'?” I peered at him and slid my hand down the sleek wooden handle. His wrinkled blue eyes shifted and followed the motion.  
“Nothing.” He said.

He was lying and he knew that I knew he was lying but despite the ball gripping silence between us, he maintained his integrity. I had to applaud the son of a bitch for that. He wasn’t a snitch. I guess he was well trained in that patient confidentiality bullshit. Still, it pissed me off so I swung my bat up and around to tap the opposite end on the tile floor just to startle him. His eyes flinched but he remained calm. That bold mother fucker.

“Alright, Bran. Fair enough.” I stood to leave. “Maybe you can just pick the chicken off or somethin’.” I motioned to the sandwich and made my way out.

So all I learned was her name was Lucille. Something about Lucille kept me wondering though and Dr. Bran stickin’ to his guns only made me that much more curious. I wasn’t sure why I gave a shit. I just had a feelin’ that I needed to know her.


	3. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _TRIGGER WARNING:_** The following chapter contains descriptive dialogue and monologue of attempted rape and sexual assault. Please read at your discretion.

I got over that shit by the next day. I told myself she was just another fuckin’ twenty-somethin’ year old. How interesting could she possibly be? We probably had nothin’ in fuckin’ common. And listen, I may have the sex drive of a hormone-ridden adolescent but I’m a grown ass man. I know how to control my goddamn impulses. So I just picked a wife, fucked her brains out, and got right back on my grind.

Then just when I thought I’d gotten my stiffy under control she appeared again. In skin-tight fuckin’ yoga pants. She was running and when I saw the way that ass bounced behind her I lost my shit all over again. The worst part was she ran every fuckin’ day. Like fuckin’ clockwork. She’d come around and I couldn’t keep my goddamn eyes off her. It was like fuckin’ witchcraft.

After a week of torture she had the nerve to casually sit that fine ass on _my_ fuckin’ stairs outside _my_ fuckin’ Sanctuary. She was wearing a simple hoodie actin’ like she wasn’t effortlessly fuckin’ adorable. When the wind blew it brushed a few strands of her dark hair over her face. I watched as she smoothed it back but when she looked up in my direction I turned away from her. I tried to focus on whatever the fuck my Saviors were talkin’ about but I felt those fuckin’ eyes on me. When I glanced up at her she didn’t shy away like she did before. She was deliberately watching me. Waiting for me. Apparently, she’d grown some balls since the last time I’d seen her but my balls were bigger. So I moseyed on over just to prove it to her.

“Well, well, well… Just what the doctor ordered.” I greeted her and she smiled, I realized, for the first time. -And yeah, it was fuckin’ beautiful.  
“How’s your stitches, Raggedy Andy?” She asked me.  
“-The fuck did you just call me?” I asked ‘cause I was sure I hadn’t fuckin’ heard that shit right.  
“You know, Raggedy Andy? I believe that’s more fitting for your generation than mine.”

Now _that_ shit caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting that kinda smart ass remark from her. This girl wasn’t the same meek little thing I’d met in the infirmary. She was a clever little asshole and now she was fuckin’ beggin’ Daddy for an ass-whoopin'.

“Okay… _kid._ You’ve got jokes.” I entertained her.  
“I’ve got lots.” She bit those fuckin’ lips. That smug little shit.  
“You’re a little more feisty than you led me to believe.” I said and when I started climbing the steps toward her, she started to squirm a little. Maybe because I looked like I was about ready to snatch that ass up.  
“Well, I try to keep my interactions professional in the infirmary. It’s latex gloves off now though, right?” Her green eyes twinkled as she challenged me.  
“Little girl, I don’t think you know who you’re fuckin’ with.” I warned her. 

She broke a little when she blushed and timidly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear but she wasn’t givin’ up. While she looked down at the crossword puzzle in her lap she made one more fuckin’ jab.

“Hmm, this seems appropriate… What’s a seven letter word for problem…? -Starts with a T…” She pondered out loud.  
“Trouble.” I said and I fuckin’ meant it ‘cause she was in deep shit now.

I decided that very fuckin’ moment that I was gonna sink my teeth into that girl. I was gonna have her and I was gonna show her who the fuck was in charge around here. The only question was, when? ‘Cause I wasn’t _just_ gonna fuck her, I was gonna make her fuckin’ beg for it first. Only problem was, I didn’t know what the fuck I was gettin’ myself into.

***

Later that night I dipped into the wives again and when I walked into their little den they lined up for display. Here’s the thing, all my wives are fuckin’ beautiful. I’ve got one of every flavor, every color, every size and shape but I’ll be damned if I didn’t have a hard time finding the right one to fill my craving that night. In the end, I went with the blonde one, Betty.

Betty had a fuckin’ killer set of legs and she was a little horndog too. She could go for fuckin’ hours. That’s what I liked about her. Before I’d even closed my bedroom door she was strippin' off that little black dress and kickin’ off her heels. When I turned to her she fuckin’ crashed into me and pressed her mouth to mine. I laughed against her lips and slipped my tongue between them. She purred like a pretty little pussy while I reached up to unhook her lacy getup. 

“I missed you…” She sighed.  
“Aw well isn’t that fuckin’ adorable… Why don’t you show me how much you fuckin’ missed me doll?” I tugged her lip and she blushed.

She dropped to her knees like a good fuckin’ girl. While she got to work on my dick I slipped off my jacket and tossed it aside. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and pretty as they were all I really wanted to see was green. I kinda wish I’d picked the fuckin’ redhead in that moment. Instead, I just closed my eyes and threw my head back while she went to fuckin’ town on me.

“Ahaha… good girl…” I grinned.

When she moaned her whole mouth vibrated. I gripped her hair and dove my dick a little deeper down her throat but her gag reflex wasn’t worth a shit. The poor thing pulled away fuckin’ choking and gasping for a breath. So I laughed and ruffled her hair a bit before yankin’ her up to her feet. 

I bent her over so she could hold on the bed while I fucked her from behind. She dropped her panties but I didn’t bother to take off my clothes. I’d _been_ ready to take out some fuckin’ ball slappin’ frustration all day. So I just shimmied my pants down a bit and slammed into her. She cried out and I groaned as her pussy trembled around me. I yanked my belt from its loops and gathered the leather up in my fist. When I laid down a solid fuckin’ smack she yelped and squirmed but she didn’t stop me. So I landed another one, and another, each one a little harder than the last. Her knees sorta buckled before she finally whipped her blonde head around to face me.

“Negan that hurts!” She complained.  
“It’s supposed to fuckin’ hurt darlin’.” I laughed.  
“-But you’re doing it too hard!” She scowled like a spoiled brat.  
“Alright, alright fine. Come here ya big baby.” I rolled my eyes.

I dropped the fuckin’ belt in my hand and pulled her into my arms. Then I kissed her and rubbed the red marks I’d left on her ass until she melted again. ‘Cause listen, I may be a total fuckin’ asshole but I don’t fuck with women like that. Every one of my wives is my wife by choice and I don’t push them to do shit they don’t want to. It may not always look it but I cherish them in my own fucked up way.

“You alright?” I asked her.  
“Yeah.” She said.  
“What do we say?” I lifted her chin to look me in the eye.  
“Yes, sir.” She corrected herself.  
“Attagirl. Now hop on up here.” I patted my lap.

She straddled me and squeezed my dick back inside her but just as we got back to fuckin’ there was a knock at the door. She was moanin’ loud enough for whoever the fuck it was to know I was fuckin’ busy but they were fuckin’ persistent. I only got a few more thrusts in before they fuckin’ knocked again. I eased her off my junk and hiked my pants up before answering but I was fuckin’ pissed.

“What!?” I swung the fuckin’ door open. It was one of my Saviors, David.  
“Sorry boss but we have a problem.” He said.

Meanwhile, Betty was already dressing herself. She knew the fuckin’ drill. When she was done she grabbed my jacket and handed it to me on her way out, knowing I was back to fuckin’ work. She stopped long enough to kiss me and nodded once at David before leaving. I watched her long ass legs as she went.

“What the fuck is it?” I sighed and turned back to him.  
“There’s been some trouble in the basement bar tonight. Some drunk asshole just tried to force himself on Dr. Bran’s assistant.” He said and I stiffened the fuck up. My heart fuckin’ stopped for a second before it took off in a fit of fuckin’ rage.  
“Where is she?” I snatched up my bat.  
“He’s in a holding cell-“ He misheard me.  
“-Not the piece of shit. The girl. Where is she?” I tried my best to keep my tone calm and neutral.  
“Oh, Lucille? She’s safe. I put her in a vacant room for now-“  
“Take me to her.” I said storming out ahead of him. “You talk to Dr. Bran yet?” I asked as he caught up with me.  
“Yeah, he’s on his way to her now.” He said.

We eventually caught up with Bran and the poor old bastard looked worried sick. I gave him a reassuring pat on the back as we rushed on to Lucille but at his age, he couldn’t move as quick as I wanted. Walkin’ at his pace was almost fuckin’ painful but I tried not to look too impatient. By the time we finally reached the vacant room I was fuckin’ restless. 

David knocked on the door and called for her. I was tappin’ my fingers on my bat while we waited for her to answer. When she finally did she only cracked the door a bit. Keepin’ the chain lock safely intact, she peeked out one big green eye and when it landed on me she flushed before goin’ pale again. I could tell she wasn’t expecting to see me.

David handed her a shirt and a bottled water through the small gap in the doorway before she closed it again. She was fully dressed when she opened it back up to allow us inside. She didn’t bother with greetings. She just curled up on the couch and tucked her legs up into the oversized t-shirt before huggin’ her knees. She looked so fuckin’ small and scared. A little ball of shot nerves. All the light I’d seen in her eyes was gone and she looked exhausted. Whatever boldness she’d been hidin’ before was gone too. It hurt me to see her that way. More than I expected.

Dr. Bran sat down with her and took her hands in his. She accepted his gesture and it seemed to calm her down a bit. Just enough for her to unravel her legs. They spoke softly amongst themselves while Bran started workin’ on her wounds. Whoever the fuck had done this was gonna fuckin’ pay. Every one of the fuckin’ bruised and bloody patches I saw made me angrier but I didn’t want to frighten her any more than she already fuckin’ was. So I hung back and observed.

“So this is what you’ve been up to…” Bran’s tone was like a dad’s. I guess he didn’t know she’d been hangin’ around the basement bar. Apparently, she was keepin’ all kinds of fuckin’ secrets.  
“Yeah, you caught me. -And it was totally worth it as you can probably tell.” She responded like a smart-ass teenager.

Bran seemed used to her lip and he just ignored it while he continued working. When he finished patchin’ up her arms she lifted her shirt a bit to reveal even more fuckin’ wounds. I was surprised to see a few tattoos but I didn’t linger. I respectfully shifted my gaze down to my feet and allowed her some fuckin’ privacy.

When Dr. Bran finally finished he gave her a few sedatives that she chewed up. He tried to stop her at first but she was a defiant little thing. I gave her another minute to wash that bitter shit down before I approached her. The second I moved she shrunk up again so I kept a safe distance between us and set my bat aside. I took a seat so I could be at eye level with her, only to show her I wasn’t there to reprimand her, but she wouldn’t look me in the eye. She just fiddled with the water bottle in her lap.

“Rest assured that son of a bitch is gonna get what’s coming to him, but just so I’m clear on this, would you mind telling me exactly what happened?” I asked. 

I knew it was askin’ a lot but I wanted to know. I’m a firm as fuck believer that all rapists deserve to fuckin’ die but the one that did this to _her?_ That spineless mother fucker was gonna get every bit of the punishment he deserved before I killed him.

“I was… I stepped outside for a cigarette. So stupid… I don’t even smoke.” She rolled her watery eyes. “I asked him if I could use his lighter and when I tried to walk away he grabbed my arm. He wouldn’t let me go. He just kept grabbing me so I burned him and he… He got angry-” 

She stopped for a sip of water when her voice started to shake. As she went on, tears started runnin’ down her cheeks but she wiped them away and kept fuckin’ goin’. She was fuckin’ tough as shit. 

“He reached into my sweater… Into my pants… His hands were touching me everywhere. I palmed him and I… I broke his nose and I tried to get away but he got ahold of me again. He pinned me down and he… I think he would have killed me. If David hadn’t shown up when he did, he would have killed me.” 

She’d started to shake all over and by the time she was done I was so god damn angry my fuckin’ head was pounding. I’m sure that shit was evident on my face because the room was fuckin’ holdin’ its breath.

“Sanctuary gathering will be held first thing in the morning. 8 AM.” I said.

Then I gathered my shit and headed straight for that fucker’s prison cell.

***

That belligerent mother fucker was hollerin’ and bangin’ on the door to his cell. He’d been throwin’ a fit so long his voice was hoarse and labored. I smacked my bat against the metal door so fuckin’ hard it left a dent.

“Knock, knock you sorry shit! Guess the fuck who?” The sound of my fuckin’ voice alone was enough to silence him. “That’s right asshole. It’s me. And you…?” I unlocked the door and let it creep open. “You have some fuckin’ explainin’ to do.”

That fucker must have shit himself before he knelt down before me. I immediately recognized his beet-red, bulbous fuckin’ face. His name was Andy and I’d been surveilling the low life for a couple days now. A few of the Sanctuary’s vendors had complained that he’d been pocketin’ their fuckin’ merch and considering I was the one supplying their fuckin’ goods, I took that shit _very_ fuckin’ personal. -But now? Now I just fuckin’ laughed because shit was about to get fuckin’ ugly.

“Well, I’ll be fuckin’ damned. So, not only are you a fuckin’ thief but you’re a fuckin’ rapist too.” I said and he started shakin’ his fat ass head.  
“No, n-n-n-no! I swear! I didn’t-“  
“Do _not_ fuckin’ lie to me, Andy! You will only make the fuckin’ hell I’m about to bring down on you that much fuckin’ worse! Who the fuck do you think I am!?” I stomped over to him and he curled into himself like a fuckin’ rat. “Who am I!?” I shouted.  
“Negan!” He cried like a bitch.  
“Who are you!?” I screamed in his vile fuckin’ face.  
“N-Negan!” He whimpered.  
“Nope!” I busted his mouth with the end of my bat. “The fuck you fuckin’ are! You are beneath me! You are the shit I discard from my unholy asshole! _You_ are fuckin’ scum!” 

I kicked my fuckin’ heel into his chest and knocked the wind out of him. When he fell on his back I laid my boot into him a few more fuckin’ times until I felt his ribs crack. While he fuckin’ bled and writhed and choked for air I crouched down beside him. I stared into his eyes and watched him fuckin’ tremble but it wasn’t enough.

“Strap your ass in, gather your fuckin’ nuts, Andy, cause’ this is just the fuckin’ beginning. We are _far_ from fuckin’ done. I’m gonna keep you alive as long as I fuckin’ have to. As long as it takes for you to cough up and piss out every fuckin’ bit of what you fuckin’ owe me _and_ the girl your low down, dirty ass tried to fuckin’ defile.” I stood to watch him squirm at my feet. “Now I’m gonna go ahead and send a couple of my boys in here to finish roughin’ you up. I gotta catch a little shut-eye. We need to look our best for the fuckin’ show I’m gonna put on in the mornin’.” I turned to leave.

Like I said, shit was about to get fuckin’ ugly.


	4. Hell Hath No Fury

The following morning, I had my Saviors gather the community in the Sanctuary’s furnace room because I wasn’t just gonna fuckin kill, Andy. I was gonna make a fuckin’ spectacle and an example out of him first. So when I was sure they were all good and antsy I joined them. I arrived fashionably late, as I fuckin’ do, and took my time with every step down the stairs. Everyone and everything was in order, just how I fuckin’ liked it. I savored that beautiful fuckin’ feeling of complete and total fuckin’ control. I fuckin’ live for that shit.

I noticed Lucille first of course. She was right where I wanted her, front and center because I wanted her to see this shit and know it was all for her. I damn sure wasn’t gonna let her down this day. The poor girl was beautiful but she still looked fuckin’ exhausted. So I gave her a quick wink of encouragement and a pale shade of pink crossed her cheeks as I passed.

Then I approached the shit head of the fuckin’ day, Andy. He’d sobered up after being beat to shit a couple times. He was also soakin’ in a nights worth of his own drunken piss, so that was fuckin’ gross. His arms were tied behind his back and he was on his knees smack dab in the middle of it all. All he could do was cry like a little bitch. I just fuckin’ laughed before I turned and greeted the community with a dazzling fuckin’ smile.

Now, I have sort of a mental checklist I use for these little spiels I often do. I always start by butterin’ their muffins with a little pep talk because people like that shit. They need the validation and praise. Especially when you’re about to lay a fuckin’ shit storm on them. Then, when I’m done with that, I always remind them that while we might be kickin’ ass, we also still have rules to uphold. Fundamental fuckin’ rules that separate us from the dead. They make us somewhat of a civilized fuckin’ society. They all know I’m the man that enforces those fuckin’ rules. So when I was done with all that I moved on over to Andy and proceeded with said ‘shit storm’.

“Let’s cut right to the chase. Shall we? This sorry sack of shit you see here before you today is named, Andy. Say ‘hi’ Andy.” I said, but Andy was too busy pissin’ his pants again to hear me. “Don’t be fuckin’ rude, Andy. I said, say ‘hello’!” I jabbed him with the end of my bat.  
“H-h-h-hello…” He shivered.  
“That’s better! See, things are so much easier when you fuckin’ listen, Andy. That’s alright though, you’re gonna learn that after today…” I squatted down and forced him to fuckin’ face me. “Because I’m gonna beat that shit right into your thick ass skull.”

While Andy started weeping again, I stood and continued with my deliverance. I let the community know that while I was enjoying every fuckin’ bit of this I wasn’t _just_ doin’ it for my own fuckin’ kicks, I had a valid fuckin’ reason. Every lick of my justice was fuckin’ justified. Andy fuckin’ stole from me. Not just my fuckin’ loot but the girl I’d set my sights on. For that, that mother fucker was gonna fuckin’ pay, but I wasn’t gonna lift a goddamn finger. I wanted them all to know that I didn’t fuckin’ have to. So I let my Saviors do the fuckin’ work. All it took was my command.

“Alright fellas, do your thing.” I told them and they went to fuckin’ town on Andy. If I so desired they would continue to pummel that mother fucker until he was nothin’ more than a pile bloody pulp. “Loyalty… honesty… respect… and in this case, and all others for that fuckin’ matter, _consent!_ These are the things that keep our Sanctuary together.” I carried on.

The community was flinching and squirming in horror. And while they continued to watch the fuckin’ train wreck that was Andy’s beatin’, I focused on Lucille. That woman didn’t bat a fuckin’ eye. She watched every fuckin’ second of it. She ate that shit up. I actually watched the color come back to her face again. Her green eyes lit up again and I saw a deep hunger in them. It was a thirst for fuckin’ blood. In that moment, I realized Lucille didn’t need me to fuckin’ save her, she needed cold, hard fuckin’ vengeance. So I wrapped up my speech and let Andy live just a little bit fuckin’ longer because I had an idea.

I lifted my hand and without question, my Saviors fell back like soldiers all in a row. Besides the sound of Andy’s labored, shallow wheezing the room was dead fuckin’ silent and still. I took a long pause for effect and let my words sink in a little deeper into their skin before I finally released them. 

“I believe I’ve made my point. Everyone’s dismissed.” The room fuckin’ scattered and I turned to address my Saviors again. “Fellas, let Dr. Bran have a look, make sure he’s not dead. Then drag that sack of shit back to his cell. -And you…” I turned to Lucille. “Let’s go for a nice stroll, shall we?” I asked.  
“Shouldn’t I stay and help Dr. Bran?” Her eyes still hadn’t left Andy’s bloodied face.  
“I’d think you’d want to keep far away from that son of a bitch.” I said.  
“He’s not much of a threat anymore.” She shrugged.  
“No, you’re right. _Now_ he sure as fuck isn’t. Are you Andy?” I turned to him and laughed before placing a hand on her shoulder. She tensed under my touch. “Dr. Bran can handle it. Come on, I’d like to speak to you in private.” I led her away.  
“Where are we going?” She asked.  
“Somewhere quiet.” I said.

***

I took her outside and led her right along the tree line. She’d run here so many times her feet had formed a trail in the grass. I hoped the routine might help her relax a little bit. She’d had a helluva fuckin’ time the past twenty-four hours after all. When I slowed my pace to a more leisurely stroll, she met my stride. -Of course, she had to take two steps for every one of mine. I smirked to myself and we just sorta enjoyed the silence for a while. We’d never been alone together before but it just sorta felt normal. It felt right. -Whatever the fuck that means. I don’t really know how to fuckin’ explain it. I just liked it.

“You know, I thought about making a run for it. Bolting right through these trees.” She confessed.

No one was allowed to leave my Sanctuary, especially not her cute ass. Sure that might come across as a hostage situation but it’s just one of my fuckin’ rules. If I let people come and go as they fuckin’ pleased, there’s no telling what kinda horse shit they could come draggin’ back to my fuckin’ doorstep. The secrecy of our location is vital to our fuckin’ protection. Still, I appreciated her honesty.

“Yeah? Why didn’t you?” I asked her  
“I thought better of it.” She shrugged.  
“Smart girl.” I smirked.  
“So why did you bring me here?” She asked.  
“Well, for one thing, I thought you could use the fresh air…” I stopped and fished into my pant pocket. “That and I wanted to give you a little gift.” I said.  
“What’s this?” She asked as I handed her a key.  
“That is the key to Andy’s holding cell.” I pointed.  
“Why?” She asked.  
“I’m giving you the power to choose whether he lives or dies.” I said.  
“Why?” She asked again.  
“Well, fuck, by the way you were watching him get his ass beat, I’d think you’d be a little more appreciative.” I scoffed.  
“That depends. What are the terms?” Again, smart girl, but for once I didn’t have any.  
“No terms. This shit is between you and him. I could give a fuck if he lives or dies.” I lied a little.

In all honesty, I fuckin’ wanted Andy to die and I wanted to kill him my damn self but this wasn’t my choice. She was the one who’d suffered by his grimy fuckin’ hands. She was the one who had to carry the burden of what he fuckin’ did to her, so I let her choose how to release it. I’ll admit my intentions weren’t entirely selfless. The reality was I wanted to know what she was capable of. There was somethin’ fuckin’ ruthless hiding in her somewhere and I wanted to fuckin’ see it.

She looked up at me and tried searching my eyes for an ulterior motive or some shit. I took the opportunity to fuck with her just a little and put my best poker face on. While I peered into her she tried to maintain her own. It turned into somethin’ like a mini staring contest but I didn’t mind at all. I liked lookin’ at those eyes. Meanwhile, she was startin’ flush and wriggle underneath me. I liked that too.

In the end, she was the first to break away. She turned to the Sanctuary off in the distance and took a moment to think. I watched the way she nibbled her lip before she looked back up at me.

“Take me there.” She said.

***

The Sanctuary’s prison hall is just a bunch of fuckin’ storage closets. There’s no toilets, let alone any other necessities to accommodate a living human being, but the doors are heavy duty and they’re secured with locks. It works just fuckin’ fine for me. Anyone who finds themselves in my fuckin’ custody probably doesn’t deserve a fuckin’ toilet anyway. They get fuckin’ buckets. The only downside to that is the place fuckin’ reeks. The smell of piss and shit are enough to make your eyes water.

While we made our way down the long hall toward Andy’s door, Lucille didn’t seem to fuckin’ notice or fuckin’ care about the smell. Her mind was preoccupied with other things. I couldn’t tell if it was excitement or anxiety but I could feel her buzzing beside me. Either way, she kept moving, one boot in front of the other. When we finally arrived I offered her two methods of Andy’s destruction. 

“Quick and easy, or slow and painful?” I asked as I presented a gun and a knife. She weighed her options at first, looking unimpressed before her eyes fell on my trusty bat. That shit was _my_ fuckin’ trademark, I didn’t give a shit how cute she was. “Absolutely fucking not. No one touches the bat.” I told her.  
“Fine. Then I’ll take both.” She said, snatching both weapons from my hands.

My interest was fuckin’ peaked. I stood aside and observed while she stuffed the gun into the back of her pants. I’d be fuckin’ lying if I said my eyes didn’t linger on her ass a little too long. My mind might have started drifting off to other, more filthy fuckin’ things before I heard the click of the lock. When the door creaked and swept aside like a heavy curtain, it was fuckin’ show time.

“Hello, Andy… Do you remember me?” She asked. Her voice was kinda creepy calm.

Andy didn’t answer. He was bound to a chair and gagged but you could still hear the way he whimpered at the sight of her. It was clear he knew exactly who the fuck she was but he didn’t have the balls to face her now. What a fuckin’ pussy.

“Look at me.” She said, but he didn’t. He just clenched his eyes shut and craned his neck away from her. “Look at me!!” She shouted. 

Even I was a little surprised by that shit. The rage in this little firecracker was finally beginning to fizzle to the surface and I couldn’t fuckin’ wait for her to burst. Andy wasn’t so excited though. He was trying to speak now but his words were muffled by the handkerchief between his teeth. Lucille approached him like she wasn’t the least bit fuckin’ scared of him. She bravely untied the gag and used it to shine the blade in her hand while he spewed some bullshit apology.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” He cried.  
“No, you’re not.” Lucille’s voice was calm again.  
“I am. Please… please believe me… I’m so sorry…” He started to weep like a fuckin’ child and I had to roll my fuckin’ eyes. 

Most people are more empathetic than me though. I always thought Lucille was more human than me too, so I wondered if maybe Andy was gonna get one over on her. Like, maybe she would start to feel guilty and decide to take the high road, turn the other cheek but she fuckin’ didn’t. She was a girl after my own heartless fuckin’ heart.

“No, Andy. You’re not, but you will be.” She said. _Fuck yes!_

She started humming a song to him. It was ‘Bad Moon On The Rise’. It was some deep seeded, sadistic shit but it was nothin’ compared to what fuckin’ followed. Little Lucille was gonna fuckin’ torture Andy and take back every bit of her fuckin’ dues. She ran the blade of that fuckin’ knife down his shaking hand and twirled that shit while she spoke.

“It was this hand, right? The one you used to reach down and grab my pussy?” She asked.  
“Please… please!” Andy begged her but she showed no fuckin’ mercy.  
“Your hands are filthy.” She said.

That girl used the blade to pop a fuckin’ nail clean off his fuckin’ finger but she didn’t just stop with one. No, she fuckin’ cracked off two more before she quit. Meanwhile, Andy might have had some fuckin’ bladder control issues because that mother fucker pissed himself _again!_ -But then, I’d probably be pissin’ my pants too because _holy shit!_

“Stop! Please stop!!… Oh, Jesus Christ! God, please have mercy on me!” Andy begged the fuckin’ lord.  
“Really, Andy? God? God’s not gonna save you. God has forsaken you. God has forsaken all of us.” Lucille reprimanded him.

Then she skewered the knife through his hand, pinning it to the fuckin’ arm of the chair. He started losin’ his shit. He was trying to wring his hands and feet free, desperately seeking a fuckin’ escape. Lucille was kind enough to fuckin’ give it to him, but she shot out both of fuckin’ knees first. Then she twisted the knife out of his bloody palm and used it to cut the ropes. Andy dropped to the ground like a bag of fuckin’ meat and slithered away like a fuckin’ slug toward who knows the fuck where. He probably didn’t even know himself. It didn’t fuckin’ matter because Lucille just strolled on over to him and squatted down by his side. 

“Are you sorry now, Andy?” She asked him while she ran the bloody blade up and down his pale cheek. “I’ve known men like you, Andy. You know, the kind that preaches the word of the Lord on Sundays after a night of drinking and screwing? -Well, in your case, raping. You know what happened to them, Andy? They died. So why should you get to live?”

Hell hath no fuckin’ fury like fuckin’ Lucille. God damn… She didn’t even blink as she plunged that knife into his fuckin’ chest and kept fuckin’ goin’. I lost count of how many fuckin’ times she stabbed him. Andy’s screams eventually gurgled and simmered into silence while he drowned in his own blood. The rest of him spilled out in a fuckin’ pool beneath her. She just kept fuckin’ goin’. I wouldn’t call that shit beautiful, but it was some kind of fucked up work of art. I fuckin’ applauded her.


	5. Business As Usual

I still didn’t know shit about Lucille, but I saw everything I needed to fuckin’ see to know that she and I were cut from the same tainted cloth. I thought she’d entrapped the fuck outta me before but now I was fuckin’ obsessed with her. I _had_ to fuckin’ know more about her. Where did that fuckin’ bloody thirsty rage come from? Where did _she_ come from? Hell, I wanted to know where the fuck she was right now because I’d already decided I was gonna make her my fuckin’ wife. As I made my way to her room I figured I should start with a ‘how you doin’ first.

For some stupid fuckin’ reason I hesitated before I knocked on her door. Some might say it was because I was nervous, but I don’t fuckin’ do that. I don’t get fuckin’ nervous but I’ll admit my heart tried to race a little when she answered. She greeted me with a look of surprise then instinctively took a step back and inched the door closed between us. She was hidin’ from me.

“Hi.” I grinned at her.  
“W-what are you doing here?” Her eyes shifted.  
“I was in the neighborhood, believe it or not.” I joked but I was lying. I’d gone outta my fuckin’ way to see her.  
“How do you even know where my neighborhood is?” She raised a brow at me.  
“I own it.” I winked and a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth.  
“Oh! Okay then, Landlord. My, do I have a list of concerns for you.” She teased me, but I didn’t mind. What’s so wrong with a little role-play?

She finally allowed me inside and I blatantly snooped around her little world for a minute. This may not come as a fuckin’ surprise but I like when things are structured and organized. Stylish, yet practical. You know, that model home type shit. -But Lucille was different. Her space was colorful and eclectic. It was a collection of all sorts of random shit. A ton of books, useless knickknacks, a couple house plants, some wall art, and tapestries. None of it was fuckin’ consistent and yet there was an order to her chaos. It all kinda came together in a unique way. It was charming I guess.

I finally took a seat at her small dining table across from a cup of hot tea and a copy of Capote’s ‘Breakfast At Tiffany’s’. So she was a fan of the classics. I pictured her sitting there, nibbling those lips as she read. It must have been a pleasant afternoon until I fuckin’ showed up. Now she stood on the opposite end of her room nervously fiddling her fingers.

“Wow, it looks like Pinterest fuckin’ exploded in here.” I cracked a lame ass joke to lighten her mood.  
“Wow, we’re still talking about Pinterest?” She cracked a better one.  
“You have a knack for talkin’ shit.” I said.  
“That’s funny, so do you. So did you just come to talk shit or do you have something else in mind?” She crossed her arms over her chest and I could see the vague outline of her nipples peaking beneath her t-shirt. She wasn’t wearin’ a fuckin’ bra. “-You know, like a business sort of… -Something.” She tried to revise her choice of words but it was too late. I had all sorts of obscene shit in mind now.  
“Funny you should ask…” My voice was husky.

I got up real fuckin’ close and personal to get a better look at that pretty fuckin’ face. I leaned into her and she shrunk even further beneath me. She blushed to the tip of her freckled nose and a little huff of air escaped her plump lips. I licked my own just fuckin’ thinkin’ about what they might taste like. God _damn_ I wanted to fuckin’ devour her and she fuckin’ knew that. She also knew I was nothin’ but fuckin’ trouble so she sorta tilted her head away like she was afraid to let me get too close. For good fuckin’ reason, ‘cause while I couldn’t sink my teeth into her just yet, I could still gain a little somethin’ from this. Lucille’s past might have been under lock and key but she was easy to read in the moment. She wore her emotions all over and I was gonna use that shit to my advantage. Besides that, I just wanted to fuck with her.

“So…?” She waited.  
“So, I came to see how you’re processing the gift I gave you.” I said, referring to the very fuckin’ late and deceased, ‘Andy’.  
“Great, actually. -Which makes me question my sanity a little, but I’m fine.” She admitted and I saw no remorse in her expression.  
“Yeah, you enjoyed the shit outta that didn’t you?” I chuckled but she glanced down at her feet. I guess she wasn’t proud either.  
“Ok, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say here. Should I be thanking you or something?” She asked.  
“No. -But I’ll admit, I do want to use that as leverage for a proposal.” I said.  
“I knew it.” She sighed.  
“Oh, you’ve got me all figured out do you?” I smirked. She didn’t know the fuckin’ half of it.  
“No, not yet. That’s the problem.” She rolled her eyes.  
“I love a good challenge.” I bit my lip at her and she blushed and squirmed again. 

It was so fuckin’ obvious that she was attracted to me but she was holding back. I thought maybe it was because she was afraid of me. Maybe all she needed was a peace offering. So I laid the ultimate fuckin’ offer of protection and security on the table. All she had to fuckin’ do was say ‘yes’.

“What’s your catch?” She asked.  
“It's not a fucking catch woman. It’s a proposal. I’m simply extending the invitation for you to be one of my wives.” I said matter of factly.  
“Excuse me?” She looked confused so I spelled the shit out for her.  
“Be my wife and I will protect you, provide for you, spoil you rotten, and as long as you’re willing, we’ll knock boots every now and again. It’s that simple. Of course, you can think it over as long as you need to-“ I was nearly done when she fuckin’ interrupted me.  
“-What? No! I don’t need to think it over! The answer is no! I don’t ever want to be a wife, I want to be a Savior!”  


She brought her arms up and forced a distance between us. Not only did she shut me the fuck down but she threw me a fuckin’ curveball. I had to take a fuckin’ minute to process that shit.

“Okay, whoa. First of all, lower your god damn voice.” I lifted a hand to stop her and she shrunk again. “So you wanna be a Savior, do you? A pretty little thing like you?” I drank her in one more fuckin’ time.  
“Yes.” She said firmly, holdin’ her fuckin’ ground.  
“Alright then… I’ll be in touch.” And I left it at that.

I returned to my Sanctuary and resumed my duties because that’s just what I fuckin’ do. Usually, the routine helps me think but I’ll be fuckin’ damned if Lucille’s rejection hadn’t fucked me up a bit. I hadn’t prepared myself for the shot to my fuckin’ pride. People don’t just say ‘no’ to me. And if they do, I sure as shit don’t just tuck my fuckin’ tail and walk away but I didn’t have a fuckin’ choice. I couldn’t force her. I guess I should’ve fuckin’ known nothin’ that good ever comes easy. At first.

***

Later that night I summoned reinforcements. My lovely and loyal wives. -Well two of them anyway. The first was the blonde with the legs, Betty. She and I had unfinished business. The other was a brunette, Katherine. Kat for short but I liked to call her, ‘Kitten’. She had some of the sweetest caramel titties I’d ever laid eyes on. When I entered my bedroom they were ready and waitin’ for me in sky-high heels and slinky black lace. The second my ass hit that couch they were all over me like bees on fuckin’ honey. Kitten was already pourin’ me a glass of whiskey before I’d even kicked off my boots.

“Anything else I can get you, Daddy?” She handed me my drink with a kiss.  
“That’ll do just fuckin’ fine for now, Kitten.” I sighed and sunk back in my seat.  
“How was your day?” Betty asked while she fiddled with my collar.  
“Long… And hard.” I smirked into my glass but they laughed too fuckin’ loud.  
“You know, I can fix that.” Kitten whispered in one ear.  
“We both can.” Betty whispered in the other.  
“Give me a fuckin’ minute to unwind first. Fuck sake.” I shrugged them off. 

Don’t get me wrong, I had every intention of fuckin’ both of those women. _Hard._ Its just they sound so fuckin’ scripted sometimes. They play too easily into my bullshit but my wives never make me work for it because this is their fuckin’ job. Now that may sound harsh but it’s the fuckin’ truth. We all know what the fuck this is. We all have somethin’ to fuckin’ gain. I get my dick tickled and they live like fuckin’ queens. Everyone’s happy. It helps that I’m fuckin’ adorable. 

“Why don’t you help each other out of those fuckin’ clothes for now.” I suggested.

They hopped right to it without fuckin’ question and while they started shedding away their dresses and swappin’ spit I sat back and watched. It was a beautiful moment that any living man would fuckin’ die for but this was just routine to me. I’d seen it enough times that I guess you could say I’d become desensitized to it. My eyes just sorta looked right past them while my mind wandered off.

What was so fuckin’ wrong with bein’ a wife? What more could a girl fuckin’ need? I mean, look how fuckin’ happy these two were. -Or were they?

“Tell me somethin’ darlins…” I stood and paced. “Are you happy?” I asked.  
“What do you mean? Of course we are.” Betty said and they hesitated.  
“I mean, do you want for anything?” I asked and motioned my hand for them to go on.  
“How could we? You take such good care of us.” Betty fluttered her lashes at me.  
“I could think of one thing.” Kitten shot me her best bedroom eyes.  
“In due time, Kitten. Right now I want you to get down there and warm my Betty up for me.” I directed.  
“I’d love to.” She smirked.

Betty laid back on my bed and spread those beautiful fuckin’ legs far and wide. Kitten got on top of her and kissed her long and deep. Their painted lips parted as they moaned and pressed their bodies together. Kitten sat up to take off her bra and free those gorgeous god damn tits before she reached down between the two of them and slipped her fingers into Betty. She started squeezing her tits and arching her back for more so Kitten trailed her wet, pink tongue all the way down to her hips and lingered a little while. She kissed and nipped the skin of Betty’s thighs before divin’ into her face first. I couldn’t see Kitten’s mouth work from here but I heard a sweet suckling sound before Betty’s legs twitched.

“So in all of your spoils and riches, there’s nothing my girls are lacking?” I went on.  
“Mmm… I guess I could use some- Ah!… -Some new dresses… I’m bored of all the others.” Betty moaned as she spoke.  
“-And jewelry.” Kitten came up for air.

 _Jewelry._ Maybe that’s what Lucille needed. A fuckin’ rock. I mean, just because she was a cold-blooded killer didn’t mean she wouldn't appreciate a little fuckin’ romance. I decided the next day I’d send the boys to fetch my wives a shit load of jewelry and I’d pick out a ring from the loot for Lucille. For now, I was gonna get my own fuckin’ rocks off.

“Consider it done. Now come over here and say thank you.” I said.

Those girls fuckin’ crawled over to me. Between the two of them, my pants dropped to my ankles in fuckin’ seconds and they took turns swallowing my cock. I groaned as their tongues ran up and down from head to fuckin’ balls before they met in the middle for a kiss. I guess I wasn’t _so_ fuckin’ desensitized because that shit brought the biggest fuckin’ smile to my face.

“My beautiful fuckin’ girls. You’re so fuckin’ sweet.” I brushed their cheeks and they giggled beneath me. “Kitten.” I called.  
“Yes, Daddy?” She perked up.  
“Do that thing I like.” I ordered.

I didn’t have to fuckin’ specify because it was her specialty. She spit on my dick before she took hold of her tits and squeezed my shaft between them. She wrapped her lips around the head and started pumpin’ the fuckin’ life outta me. There’s nothin’ more beautiful than Kitten’s fuckin’ boob jobs. Meanwhile, Betty shimmied down underneath her and started lickin’ her pussy while she played with her own. 

“Fuuuck…” I groaned.

I took hold of Kitten’s tits and squeezed them. She had to grip my thighs to steady herself while I fucked them even harder. I could tell she was gettin’ close to coming so I pulled away and took a firm hold of her chin while I stared into her dark eyes.

“Are you gonna give it to Betty or are you gonna wait for me?” I said.  
“Ah! I’ll wait for you, Daddy!” She panted.  
“Good girl. Open up.” I smacked her cheek.

She opened her lips wide and I spit into her mouth before slipping my cock in. She choked on it and writhed while she tried not to come. Betty knew better than to steal that shit from me, so she sat up and helped Kitten with the job. Pretty soon I was havin’ a hard time keeping my load in so I pulled away for a short break.

“Sit down on my bed. One on top of the other.” I choreographed.

They did as they were told and stacked their pussies right on the edge of the mattress for me, Betty on top this time. They got lost in another lip lock and I arranged them to the perfect angle before scooting up behind them. I sunk into Betty first and she moaned into their kiss. I savored a few pumps before pulling out and slipping into Kitten this time. She cried out as she took hold of Betty’s ass and spread her open for me. I switched back and forth, fuck hole to fuck hole, until they were fuckin’ begging me to let them finish but I didn’t stop until I was damn well ready.

“You gotta earn that fuckin’ jewelry.” I reminded them and laid down to let them put on a fuckin’ show. “Make Daddy proud.” I motioned.

They scrambled on top of me and pressed their pussies together around my dick. That shit was fuckin’ incredible. They started grinding against each other, stroking me between their wet folds until the friction grabbed ahold of all of us. They were fuckin’ trembling and even I started fuckin’ shaking underneath them. When they finally came they fuckin’ drenched me. I followed soon after and made a dirty fuckin’ cocktail between the three of us. While they lapped that shit up, I laid back and gripped my head. 

“Oh my god…You women are gonna be the fuckin’ death of me.” I sighed.  
“At least you’d die happy.” Betty giggled as she tucked herself under my arm.  
“-But not until we get our jewelry.” Kitten added and I laughed at the hard fuckin’ truth of it all.  
“You’ll have it by the end of the fuckin’ week.” I kissed them both before I untangled myself from their limbs and headed for the shower. “Do me a favor and leave a fresh shirt out before you go.” I sent them away without a second glance.

After my shower, Betty and Kitten were gone without a fuckin’ trace. My room almost looked as if they hadn’t been here at all. I put on the clothes they’d laid out for me and wandered over to my record collection. I have hundreds of vinyl and every one of them is separated by genre and placed in alphabetical order. I easily found and put on a little Grateful Dead, then poured myself another glass of whiskey and eased back into my couch. It was fuckin’ perfection. It was _all_ the definition of what I would call fuckin’ perfection. So why wasn’t my mind fuckin’ resting? Why were there so many fuckin’ questions? Why did I even fuckin’ care what kind of fuckin’ ring Lucille would like?


	6. Gold

A week later I stood on my Sanctuary stairs and oversaw a group of my Saviors who had just returned from a scavenge. They were haulin’ in bags and boxes of everything my wives could possibly fuckin’ desire. Clothes, shoes, perfume, and because I _always_ keep my end of a fuckin’ bargain, a _shit load_ of jewelry. You might wonder how my boys found all this shit, but the truth is, it’s easy to live like you’re rich these days. It’s the bare fuckin’ necessities, the things that keep us alive long enough to enjoy it, _that_ shit is what’s hard to fuckin’ come by.

This scavenge was a piece of fuckin’ cake. For that reason, I’d specifically assigned Joey as head of this pack of underdogs. I figured he deserved a moment to shine every now and again what with all the ball-bustin' I subject him to. Not only that, I also knew he was the only one too fuckin’ skittish and stupid to bother asking questions when I gave him the specifics. I’d told him to be back before nine that morning and I wanted him to hand deliver the biggest diamond rings he could possibly fuckin’ find. -And, surprisingly, he fuckin’ delivered.

“Hey Boss. He waddled over and handed me a small pouch. “I grabbed a couple different styles but, I don’t know, they all kinda start to look the same after a while. -Oh and I also grabbed a couple different sizes too ‘cause, well, you know.” He shrugged his round shoulders.

I glanced up at him, rather fuckin’ impressed that he’d thought ahead that much. I guess he was smarter than I gave him credit for sometimes. I hadn’t even fuckin’ thought about what size ring Lucille would wear. For fuck sake, this shit wasn’t exactly my strong suit. I’m not wired for this kinda shit.

“Well I’ll be damned, Joey. You exceeded the shit outta my expectations. Good fuckin’ work. Go ahead and take the rest of the day off and when your crew’s done let em’ know dinner’s on me.” I slapped a heavy hand on his shoulder as a gesture of praise and he lit up.  
“Wow! Really? I thought you’d-“  
“Nope.” I sighed and lifted my bat. “Just take the fuckin’ compliment and get the hell outta here.” I said.  
“Yes sir! Thank you sir!” He bowed out.

I emptied out the contents of the pouch into my palm. He’d found some fuckin’ doozies. I’d never seen, let alone held rings that fuckin’ big in person. That shit didn’t even look real but the way they glittered in the sunlight could fuckin’ blind somebody. Lucille couldn’t possibly turn down any one of these fuckin’ things. Hell, she could keep all of ‘em if she wanted. Maybe switch out every couple fuckin’ days or somethin’. Fuck it. I smirked smugly to myself before stuffing them in my pocket.

I stuck around a little while longer, tapping my fingers on the end of my bat while I patiently waited for the witching hour. Then only a minute later the little devil woman herself arrived in those fuckin’ skin tight running pants again. I wasn’t just there to admire her ass, although it was a beautiful fuckin’ perk, but also because I’d specifically orchestrated this chain of events. I wanted her to arrive just in time to see the parade of luxuries my Saviors had brought home for my wives. I wanted her to know that she could have all that shit if she’d just accept my fuckin’ hand. 

While she stopped a little ways away and watched the Saviors carry in the new shit, I watched her stretch her limbs out. I smirked thinkin’ maybe she’d bend down and touch those toes for me, but she must have felt my eyes all over her. She caught me staring and stopped like she knew better than to tempt me. She didn’t know better than to keep her fuckin’ distance though. As she strolled over to me I shot her my best heart-throbbing grin and licked my teeth.

“What’s all this?” She asked.  
“Gifts.” I said and she wrinkled her brows in confusion. “-For my wives. I like to get ‘em a little somethin' every now and then for all their hard work.” I winked.  
“You didn’t get it, the Saviors did.” She back sassed me.  
“Oh, you mean _my_ fuckin’ Saviors? Yeah, they do the dirty work for me. It’s part of the deal.” I corrected her and she rolled her eyes.  
“Right. So what’d you get them? Embroidery kits and rolling pins?” She teased and I couldn't help but laugh. She was fuckin’ cute.  
“Fuckin’ smart ass. No, I got ‘em clothes and jewelry. You know, the kinda shit women like.” I said and she scoffed. It seemed she wasn’t the least bit impressed.  
“You risked the lives of your Saviors for clothes and jewelry?” She raised her dark brow.  
“A happy wife is worth that kinda risk don’t you think?” I took a step toward her.  
“How should I know.” She said concisely before taking off into her running stride.

And just like that, she shot me the fuck down _again_. My smile dropped into a scowl as I watched her go. Now I was fuckin’ pissed. She kept fuckin’ doin’ this shit. Escaping me and takin’ my fuckin’ pride with her. I’d wasted a whole fuckin’ morning just trying to get her attention and fetch her a fuckin’ ring that she didn’t even fuckin’ care about. She was makin’ a fuckin’ idiot outta me.

“ _Fuck!_ ” I mouthed.

She may have won that round, but the game wasn’t fuckin’ over ‘cause I don’t fuckin’ lose. This shit wasn’t about makin’ her a fuckin’ wife anymore. Now, it was a matter of my fuckin’ principles. Her ass was gettin’ too big for those fuckin’ britches and I was _gonna_ fuckin’ set her straight. I just had to get creative.

***

My mood didn’t stay down long. In fact, by the time dinner rolled around I was way the fuck up ‘cause my wives were beyond satiated with their gifts. They were fuckin’ thrilled and more than happy to accommodate me _and_ my entourage that evening. I invited my right-hand-man, of course, Simon. My ‘Savior of the Month’, David. And I even invited Fat Joey as a token of my appreciation. 

We gathered in their little living area. The wives put on their skimpiest little get-ups and glittered in diamonds for us. They brought us dinner, poured our drinks, and did what they did fuckin’ best; make a man feel good. While we sat around and shot the shit, they draped themselves in our laps like pets and laughed at our jokes. The sound of their giggling was like music. Simon and David were eatin’ that shit up, but Joey was scared shitless. So I hounded the shit outta him cause that’s what I fuckin’ do.

“You ever been with a woman even half as hot as any of these Joey?” I motioned around the room.  
“Haha no… No way.” He snickered nervously when Betty leaned purposefully close to serve him a cold beer. His eyes shied away from her perky titties as he took a long swig.  
“Anything else I can get you?” Betty cooed in his ear and he choked.  
“N-no. No, thank you.” He coughed.  
“Jesus fuckin’ christ Joey! Just relax and enjoy yourself before you give yourself a fuckin’ aneurysm!” I laughed.  
“No, I am! I’m enjoying myself I just-”  
“You wanna touch her titty? Go ahead. Touch one.” I smirked and motioned my hand.  
“N-no. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He stiffened.  
“Really, I insist.” I pushed.  
“No, I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to but…” Betty leaned down to give him a better view of the goods and his face turned bright red. “You’re really beautiful and all I just-“  
“Oh my god! Just touch her fucking boob already!” Simon shouted.  
“Joey, just do it and get it over with. This is too painful to watch.” David laughed.  
“Okay! Okay! Fine, I’ll just…” He lifted an awkward hand.  
“-Whoa! Show a little fuckin’ restraint, Joey! Did you ask her fuckin’ permission first?” I stopped him just to fuck with him.  
“Huh? No! I’m sorry! Can I…?” He reddened.  
“Go ahead. I won’t bite.” Betty winked.

Joey was fuckin’ shaking now. The room was dead fuckin’ silent, all of us grinning in anticipation as the gap slowly closed between them. Then just when he was a fuckin’ inch away from contact I snarled out like a dog and scared the shit out of him. Joey leaped the fuck back and the room exploded with laughter.

“Goddammit…” He sighed.  
“Your fuckin’ face was fuckin’ priceless!” I doubled over.  
“Daddy you’re so mean!” Betty scolded me. She had to grab Joey’s fuckin’ hand and force the poor fucker to cup her tit.  
“Oh! Okay! That was nice! Thank you!” The blood rushed to his face again so fast I thought he was gonna black the fuck out.  
“That was nice?” David gripped his head as he laughed.  
“Yeah, I don’t know… ” Joey shook his head in shame.  
“Congratulations Joey! You’re a man now!” Simon slapped his shoulder.  
“Aw man… Come on, it’s not like I’ve never been with a girl before.” He grumbled.  
“Not with one that hot you haven’t.” Simon said.  
“Okay, yeah, maybe not that hot.” He admitted and sighed. “Alright, I think I’ve had my ass handed to me enough for one night. I’m gonna end it on the boob grab.” Joey stood and tugged the crotch of his pants.  
“Alright buddy, go beat off and get some sleep. You did good today.” I said.  
“Thanks, for everything sir. And…” He turned to Betty. “Uh, thank you for… well, you know. Good night.” He hurried off and escaped while he could.  
“You know, I think I’m ready to call it a night too.” David added before he kissed Kitten’s hand.

Kitten fuckin’ swooned. She’d been hangin’ all over David all fuckin’ night. I could tell she wasn’t just playing the part, she really liked him. That shit didn’t bother me though. In fact, on some occasions, I was generous with my wives. As long as they were willing and given my blessing I let them screw around with trusted parties. Shit, it’s not like _I_ was fuckin’ faithful.

“Can I keep him, Daddy?” She batted her lashes at me.  
“Whatever you want, Kitten.” I said.  
“Wow. Thank you, _very_ much, but I uh… I have to respectfully decline.” David rested an apologetic hand on hers but she just rolled her eyes and pouted. Needless to say, my wives were used to getting their way.  
“What’s the matter? You don’t like kittens?” I asked.  
“No, no I _love_ kittens.” He watched her go. “I just…” He tapered off but it wasn’t like he was nervous. His mind just sorta wandered off on it’s own and his eyes glazed over a bit. The boy was infatuated.  
“You got a girlfriend or somethin’, D?” I inquired.  
“Nah, nothing like that.” He chuckled.  
“So…” Simon looked confused.  
“She’s just a friend for now, but… Eh, I’d feel kinda sleazy about it. Ya know?” He asked.  
“Nope.” I said simply.  
“Yeah, no.” Simon concurred.  
“Guess it’s just me then.” David laughed as he shrugged. “Thanks just the same Boss.” He bowed his head.  
“At ease, Savior.” I dismissed him.

***

An hour or so later I took the last bag of jewelry and summoned wife number three to my quarters. Her name was Ashley. There are a couple things I liked about my dear, sweet Ashley. For one, she was a redhead with a little more meat on her. -Which to me was all the better to grab ahold of while I rode the fuck out of her. She didn’t let her size get in the way of a good fuckin’ time. She never tried to hide the cute and plump little rolls that curled over when I bent and twisted her to my will. She didn’t mind when I bit down on the little morsels either. The best part though was she had that kinda fair skin that you can really leave a fuckin’ mark on.

The second she stepped into my bedroom I didn’t say a fuckin’ word. I didn’t fuckin’ have to. I just met her at the door and yanked her into a kiss. She moaned when I ran my tongue over and between her lips while I stripped her dress away and let it fall to the floor. I left her standing there in lingerie then I reached into my bag of tricks and dropped a necklace on the floor at my feet. 

“Pick it up.” I said.

While she kneeled I inched back a few steps and dropped another piece. Then another. And another. I made her fuckin’ crawl. When I finally reached the edge of my bed I took a seat and she kneeled in front of me. I still had a full bag and there was a little Jimmi Hendrix playin’ on the turntable so I thought, why not fuck around a little longer?

“Dance for me.” I said.

She got up and swayed those thick ass hips for me and I licked my lips. I watched her body roll and wiggle a while before I started hooking pieces of jewelry into her panties and bra as a reward. Every time my fingers grazed her milky skin my dick got a little harder. Pretty soon her body was fully fuckin’ decorated and ringing like she was strung with bells. I pulled her into my lap and she pressed against my cock. She was fuckin’ grindin’ on it while she leaned down to kiss me and whimpered against my lips for more. 

My balls were about ready to burst so I flipped her over onto her back and pressed her into the mattress. I ripped away her bra and tossed it aside and all the riches inside it scattered and rung out across the floor. I liked the sound of it so I picked up the bag and poured the rest of that shit over her. She giggled as the cool metal and stones spilled and tangled over her warm skin. Then I stripped down and fuckin’ dove into that shit with her. We were swimming in a pile of fuckin’ gold. 

I took ahold of her plump tits and brought one to my mouth for a taste. She squealed out when I sunk my teeth in. Then I trailed my hands down her soft body and turned her onto her side. I trailed bites and kisses along the rise and fall of her waist and hips until I reached her ass and landed a hard fuckin’ slap. I watched the blood rush to her skin and form a perfect print of my hand.

Then I finally brought her up onto her hands and knees and slipped my cock inside her. She cried out while I pounded her so fuckin’ hard her ass bounced and slapped against me. I wrapped her auburn hair in my fist and pulled that shit tight while I spanked her. I did it over and over until her ass was raw and tender all over. When I finally stopped her knees were trembling and it made her thighs jiggle. I took hold of them and squeezed so hard she groaned while I spread her legs wide.

“Mm... Just look at that thick ass pussy.” She hummed as I pet it.

She was so wet and pink and swollen that my mouth started to water but I don’t eat pussy. Not even my wives’ pussies. It’s not like I don’t like it or I don’t know how. I mean, come on, we all know I am real, _real_ fuckin’ good at it. The ladies love my fuckin’ tongue. -But it’s a dominance thing. I don’t fuckin’ bow down to fuckin’ anyone. So instead, I grabbed her knees and pressed them to her chest. I wasn’t gonna eat her, but I was gonna watch her cum around my cock.

Her whole body shook when I sunk my dick back inside her. It only took a few pumps before I felt her tighten deep inside. When she finally burst I could see her whole pussy tremble and squeeze. I kept going until I reached the edge and pulled out just in time to spray over her mound. I gave her a kiss before I headed for the shower and turned back long enough to toss her a towel.

“All that shit is yours, darlin’. Pick it up before you go.” I said.  
“Thank you, Daddy!” She beamed.

By the time I finished my shower, Ashley was gone and she’d taken the whole bag of treasure with her. My room was silent but I welcomed it. I was fuckin’ exhausted so I plopped down in my bed with a heavy sigh until I felt something sharp jabbing my fuckin’ spine. I reached under the bedding and found one of the diamond rings I’d been saving for Lucille. That woman was like a fuckin’ curse I couldn’t shake. Every time I started to forget about her something would yank me back again. I sat up and examined the ring for a minute, contemplating whether or not to toss it in the trash. What fuckin’ use was it now? Something stopped me though. Instead, I stashed it away in my desk for safe keeping but I didn't know why or for fuckin’ what.

_“I don’t ever want to be a wife! I want to be a Savior!”_ She’d said.

Until now, I hadn’t given the idea of making her a Savior a second thought. It’s not like I didn’t think she was capable. Hell, judging by what she did to ‘Andy the rapist’ it was clear that she was capable of all kinds of fucked up shit. If I handed her a weapon what was to stop her little bloodthirsty ass from trying to do the same to me? -To anyone. She could be a god damn serial killer for all I fuckin’ knew ‘cause I didn’t fuckin’ know her.

I sighed again. I was too fuckin’ tired to think about this now. So I shoved my desk’s drawer closed again and started to make my way back to bed. As I turned away my eyes fell on the unfinished roster on my desktop.

“Oh, fuuuuck…” I groaned.

It seemed my day wasn’t fuckin’ over and it felt like it might never fuckin’ end. I plopped down in my chair and snatched up a pen to finish the fuckin’ desk work. -My least favorite part of the job. I gripped my head while I scribbled and tried to focus my tired mind. I hated doing this shit. I needed a personal fuckin’ assistant. Then all the sudden my hand came to a halt. I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my bearded chin as a plan unfolded in my mind. A smirk spread across my face and I chuckled to myself. Of all my bright ideas, this was fuckin’ gold.

Okay, so Lucille didn’t have to be a wife, but if she wanted to be a Savior, she’d have to pay her fuckin’ dues first.


	7. New Girl

Turns out Lucille had been trying to climb my totem pole for quite some fuckin’ time before I ever found out. She’d gone behind my back and finessed her way into my Savior’s good graces first. Pretty and quick as she was, they seemed to like her just fine, but there was one in particular that had fallen victim to her charms. It was David and that poor fucker was in deep. After he turned down one of my hottest fuckin’ wives I should have fuckin’ guessed it was Lucille that bewitched him. At first, I thought she was just using him for his skills and rank but then I fuckin’ saw them together.

They were outside ‘practicing’ hand to hand combat or some shit but they were gettin’ awfully god damn close. _Too_ fuckin’ close. She smiled and blushed at him in a way I’d never witnessed. She was fuckin’ swooning over him and it struck a fuckin’ nerve in me. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised. David was what most people would consider an attractive dude. He was tall, well built, kinda looked like he should be off wrangling cows and kickin’ shit in the boonies somewhere. He was your typical blonde headed, shaggy, all-American boy. -But that’s the fuckin’ thing, he was a boy. About half my fuckin’ age and so was Lucille. It made sense that she’d be more inclined to a guy her own age. 

All the sudden a shitty fuckin’ feeling came over me. ‘Jealousy’… I guess that’s what people fuckin’ call it. Lucille always brought those weak human emotions outta me. When I saw the way David wrapped his arms around her waist I got fuckin’ pissed. I wanted to knock his fuckin’ teeth out. That’s the thing about jealousy, it makes a man irrational. 

Of course, I couldn’t start beatin’ the shit out of one of my top Savior’s without probable fuckin’ cause and up until now, I’d always thought David was a pretty cool guy. So instead I plastered on a fuckin’ smile and crashed their little playdate. All I had to do was give David some menial fuckin’ task and he hopped right fuckin’ to it. Once I had Lucille all to myself I took the opportunity to lay down the new fuckin’ law.

“You have a _boyfriend_?” I tried not to fuckin’ laugh.  
“He’s not my boyfriend, but that’s none of your damn business.” She said and it brought my fuckin’ temper back.  
“Hell, the fuck, no!” I lifted my bat just enough to set her straight. “You’re gonna have to learn to cut that shit out. No one ever fuckin’ talks to me like that. Not even your little sassy fuckin’ ass. -As a matter of fact, especially not your little sassy fuckin’ ass, because you’re my new personal assistant.” I dropped the news.  
“Your what?” Her eyes widened.  
“You fuckin’ heard me.” I smirked.  
“-But what about the infirmary?” She asked but I’d anticipated that.  
“You’ll be on call.” I said.  
“Well, what if I don’t want to be your assistant?” She tried but I’d anticipated that shit too.  
“Then you must not want to be a Savior either.” I said.  
“Are you seriously forcing me with an ultimatum?” She stomped her little foot. She was cute when she was angry.  
“Sure am! You’re gonna be my closest fuckin’ companion. You’ll carry my messages back and forth, keep me posted on the comings and goings of the Sanctuary, and whistle me little tunes when I’m bored. You’ll be my very own little bird. And when I think you’re good and ready, you might just get to graduate to a Savior.” I said.  
“Really?” All the sudden her demeanor switched and she was intrigued.  
“Really. -But here’s the catch-“ I lifted my finger.  
“Of course there’s a fucking catch.” She rolled her eyes.  
“There it is.” I pointed at her expression in that exact moment. “Every time you roll those big ol’ green eyes at me or start talkin’ shit, I will push your graduation date a little bit fuckin’ further. You understand? You need to learn your place before you ask me to make a new one for you. Do we have a deal?” I asked and offered my hand for a shake.  
“Fine.” She actually accepted. 

I’ll admit I was fuckin’ surprised but still, I was sure this last bit would send her running for the fuckin’ hills. So I pulled her in real fuckin’ close. Even closer than she’d been with David. I could even feel a few loose strands of her dark hair brush against my lips when I delivered my coup-de-fuckin’-gras. The most important fuckin’ rule of all.

“No boys. You belong to me now.” I said.

***

The next day I brought my little bird along with me to my conference room for something like an interview. I sat on the far end of the long table, in the power seat of course, while she sat on the opposite end. It felt like there were fuckin’ miles between us but I got the feeling she preferred it that way. While she nervously nibbled at her lips and tapped her fingers I just looked her over for a while. The silence was fuckin’ deafening until I broke it.

“How exciting! My very own secretary!” I beamed.  
“‘Secretary’… Do people still use that term?” She rolled her eyes. I let it slide knowing it would be quite some fuckin’ time before she got the hang of this.  
“Would you prefer I call you my servant instead?” I teased.  
“How about we just stick with assistant.” She said.  
“Whatever helps you, Little Bird. So…” I kicked my feet up and laced my fingers. “Tell me about yourself.”  
“Well, my name is, _Lucille_ , first of all. And I don’t really have much to tell.” She shrugged.  
“Like hell you don’t, Little Bird! Tell me where you lived before all this. What kinda music do you listen to? What’s your favorite fuckin’ food?” I tossed her a few conversation starters and she sighed.  
“Uh… I lived in Chicago. I listen to whatever sounds good, and my favorite food is grilled cheese.” She rushed through each question.  
“Grilled cheese? What are you, twelve?” I laughed.  
“I’m 27.” She said shortly, not the least bit amused.

She was so fuckin’ _tight_. So firmly fuckin’ locked and barricaded, but why? She was friendly enough with everyone else. Especially fuckin’ David. So why me? What the hell was it about me that made her so guarded? It’s not like she was scared of me. She wouldn’t talk so much shit if she was. What was she hiding from me that I hadn’t already fuckin’ seen? I _had_ to fuckin’ know. This ‘interview’ was gonna feel more like an interrogation and that suited me just fuckin’ fine.

“What were you doing in Chicago?” I asked.  
“Living… Going to school…” Her eyes wandered like she’d rather be anywhere else.  
“How’d you pay to live? What was your major?” I kept pushing.  
“I was a waitress and I was studying English Lit. -I’m sorry. What the hell does any of this have to do with me being a Savior?” She asked abruptly.  
“It doesn’t.” I said.  
“Then what’s the point?” She sighed.  
“I like to know the people that work for me on a personal level.” I implied with a wink.  
“Then how about we just stick to job related questions?” She suggested firmly.  
“Alright then…”

I stood and sauntered over to her end of the room to close the fuckin’ space between us. When I did she pulled her hands from the table and tilted away from me like I might bite. I fuckin’ could have, but instead, I eased back on the edge of the table and crossed one boot over the other. She watched while I tapped the end of my bat on the floor.

“Tell me-” I swung it up to lift her gaze. “-Are you afraid to die, Little Bird?” I asked.  
“That’s an awfully heavy subject to start with.” She said.  
“It is… but if you think you’re willing to work for me as a Savior, then you must also be willing to fuckin’ die for me. Right?” I asked.  
“You’re coming off a little cocky.” She scoffed.  
“Oh, I am a whole lotta fuckin’ cocky. I have reason to be. _You_ on the other hand, you might want to lose the fuckin’ attitude or this is gonna be a _long_ fuckin’ road for you. Now let’s try again. Are you afraid to die, Little Bird?” I repeated.  
“If I was afraid to die, I would have killed myself ages ago.” She said.  
“Well, that literally makes no fuckin’ sense.” I said and waited for her to elaborate.  
“I mean, the reality is, every day we wake up and keep surviving is just one more day we run the risk of being eaten alive or beaten to death by some guy with a baseball bat-” She motioned to me and I chuckled while I tapped my fingers on the handle. Meanwhile, she carried on waving her hands along with her strong ass opinions. “-If I was afraid of dying I would have given up by now and gotten it over with myself. In fact, I’m convinced the only reason I’ve made it this far is because I don’t really care either way.”

As soon as the words left her lips she sorta flushed a bit and crossed her arms over her chest. All the sudden she was closed off again. Apparently, she’d allowed herself to ramble on a little too fuckin’ far for her comfort. -But what a cute little nihilist! She just shrugged the idea of death off entirely and that shit was kinda fuckin’ bad ass.

“Interesting…” I mused.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She raised her brow.  
“It means you interest me.” I said simply.

I gripped her with my stare and a curious look came over her for a second before Simon and a few of my trusted associates entered the room. It was time for our weekly meeting but they weren’t used to seeing a new face. I trust _very_ fuckin’ few, so my circle remained fairly small. It consisted of my most highly regarded Saviors, which included David. He seemed confused and maybe even a little fuckin’ concerned to see Lucille there.

“What do we have here?” Simon asked.  
“Take a load off and I’ll tell you all about it.” I swung my bat over my shoulder and returned to my seat.  
“Well, I’d love to but…” Simon leaned forward to rest his hands on his knees, trying to give Lucille a fuckin’ hint but she was distracted by some unspoken exchange with David. “Hey, new girl!” He jostled her.  
“Huh?” She turned to Simon with a cute wrinkle in her forehead.  
“You’re in my seat.” He said.  
“Oh!” She hopped up. 

She soon realized all the other seats at the table were occupied by the rest of my party. All eyes were on her while she frantically searched the room for a place to escape their scrutiny. David tried to come to her fuckin’ rescue and sat up like he was about to offer his own seat but I intercepted him.

“Little Bird, your seat is right up here next to me.” I said.

I pointed behind me to a chair placed against the windows. She was hesitant at first like she’d sooner fuckin’ stand, but I just waited. The meeting couldn’t start without my cue but I didn’t budge. Eventually, she surrendered under the pressure and stomped across the room with that little fuckin’ attitude again. I’d already warned her it would only make her job harder and it did.

“You’re probably gonna need to take some notes it being your first day and all. Why don’t you grab yourself somethin’ to write on.” I suggested.  
“Okay… Where?” She lifted her arms looking lost.

I pointed to the large file cabinets on the opposite wall but didn’t give her any specific direction. She waved her hand for further instruction but I just fuckin’ grinned. She pursed her lips and sighed in frustration but if she was so fuckin’ sure of herself she could find her own fuckin’ way around. The room was painfully quiet while she searched the drawers until she finally found a clipboard. When she found the pens she shoved the last drawer closed and stormed over to her new designated seat. This shit was fuckin’ fun.

“You all set?” I asked.  
“Yes.” She clenched her teeth.  
“Attagirl…” I chuckled before proceeding. “Everyone I’d like to introduce you to my new assistant, Little Bird. I’m sure you’ll all get to know her in due time. Some of you seem to know her pretty well already.” I shot David a glance and he finally ripped his eyes away from her. “For now, let’s proceed with this week's criteria, shall we?” I said.

And so her first day as my Little Bird began. 

***

Lucille caught on fuckin’ quick. It was clear that she was no stranger to hard work and she was no stranger to the heavy fist of a man like me either. The girl was tough as nails and smart too. She knew how to gauge my mood and knew when to bite her tongue. If the timing was right she’d let that tongue slip but it was always fuckin’ sharp. She could make me laugh and that got her out of a whole lotta fuckin’ trouble. The only problem was she still wouldn’t open up to me. I couldn’t read her mind so instead, I read her body but her body was fuckin’ dangerous.

Now, I know I’m predisposed to this kinda shit but it seemed like every fuckin’ thing Lucille did screamed sex. The thing is it wasn’t like she wasn’t deliberately trying to tempt me. She didn’t even know she was fuckin’ doin’ it. It was just the way she carried herself. It was her little fuckin’ idiosyncrasies. Like the way she’d bite her lip when she smiled sometimes. Or the way she’d brush her hair over her shoulder and inadvertently stroke her fingers up and down her neck while she thought. She was doing just that as she worked on the week’s itinerary and I didn’t realize I was staring until she caught me.

“What…?” She blushed innocently. The way she looked at me with those big, doe eyes kinda fuckin’ stirred my heart.  
“Aren’t you fuckin’ done yet?” I fought it off by provoking her.  
“If you think you can do it any faster, maybe you should just do it yourself.” She worked her neck at me and I just fuckin’ smirked. _There she is._  
“If I did it myself, what use would you be?” I asked.  
“I don’t know, this is _your_ bright idea.” She scoffed and tossed the paperwork aside. 

I draped one leg over the other and eased back into my seat a little more. Then I pressed the pads of my fingers together and smiled at her. She just crossed her arms over her chest like a huffy little brat. I chuckled to myself ‘cause the one thing her smart ass never seemed to fuckin’ grasp was I _liked_ to get a rise out of her. It was sorta like a game to me.

“Bring it here.” I motioned.

She didn’t bother handing it to me, she just tossed it but she used a little too much fuckin’ force. It skidded off the edge of the table then spilled and scattered around my feet. She’d crossed the fuckin’ line and she knew it too. I looked back up at her with a hardened expression and she fuckin’ froze. Her bratty fuckin’ scowl fell away and her eyes widened a bit. I loved that all it took for me to shut her down was a fuckin’ look. That shit felt like foreplay to me.

“Pick that shit up.” I said deeply.

When I sat upright her body retreated a little like she was preparing for me to strike but she knew she didn’t have a fuckin’ choice. She tiptoed over to me and kneeled down at my fuckin’ feet. I had to fight the urge to slap her ass and struggled to control the fuckin’ stiffy growing in my lap while I watched her. She bent forward to scoop the papers up and tried to ignore the feeling of my eyes all over her but I knew she felt them because she was blushing again. She always blushed when I looked at her that way.

When she was done she handed me the messy pile and tried to back away again. I stood up so that our bodies were close enough that I could almost feel her shivering against me. She couldn’t look me in the eyes but I fuckin’ made her. I leaned down and forced myself into her gaze and held it. She watched my tongue glide along my lip before I spoke.

“You know I can’t let that one slide, right?” I asked, keeping my voice soft as fuckin’ silk.  
“Yeah, I know.” She gulped.  
“If you know, then why do you do this to yourself?” I asked.  
“It was an accident.” She said.  
“Was it? Or do you just get off on me punishing you?” I asked.

Her breath started to quiver but she didn’t speak. Whether or not she’d ever say it out loud didn’t matter. Her body said it all. That’s why I fucked with her so hard because I fuckin’ craved moments like these. When we got this close and I threatened to punish her she’d get weak in the knees. Her skin would lift with goosebumps but you could feel the heat radiating from her. There was a carnal fuckin’ chemistry that burned and licked between us and neither one of us could deny the feeling. All I needed was for her to say the fuckin’ word. I was fuckin’ begging for her to give me the fuckin’ word but today wasn’t the fuckin’ day.

“I’ll finish it after lunch.” She ran away from me again.

This was the dynamic of our relationship. A constant fuckin’ push and pull that fucked with my head. Luckily I had two of them. Both of them were hard as shit, but one of them was a little more logical when the other was tended to. I was in desperate fuckin’ need of a blowjob. So while she was gone I summoned wife number four, Jackie.

Jackie was my little piece of dark chocolate. She was sweet but she had a little fuckin’ bite to her. She didn’t kiss my ass like the others because she wasn’t a bullshitter. She always made it clear that this was nothing more than a job to her but she was happy to do it so long as I did my part. In that sense, we shared a mutual understanding and respect. We got along just fuckin’ fine. It was the perfect boss and employee relationship.

“Skipping lunch for some head? You must be having a rough day.” She said.  
“I have a feelin’ it’s about to get better.” I said. She knew I was short on time so she didn’t waste it. She just slipped off her dress and kept her heels on.  
“You want it neat or sloppy?” She asked.  
“Let’s keep it neat. I gotta run after this.” I stretched out while she kneeled down and unzipped my pants. My cock fuckin’ sprung out at her.  
“Damn, you’re ready to go huh?” She laughed.

She slipped my dick between her full lips and I fuckin’ groaned in relief. When she started working her fuckin’ tongue it made me arch my back before settling in more comfortably with a sigh. Still, my mind wasn’t at rest so I thought I’d make the best of our time and ask for a bit of advice.

“Jackie, you’re a smart woman… An honest woman…” I breathed.  
“Mhm…” She hummed in agreement and kept going.  
“Would you say I’m a likable guy?” I asked. She sucked while she moved slowly up my shaft and pulled away from the tip with a pop. While she spoke she used her hands instead.  
“You take some getting used to, but you're likable enough. Why?” She asked and dove down again.  
“Ah… Haha… I’m having trouble making friends I guess…” I beat around the bush and she actually fuckin’ laughed on my dick.  
“You?” She asked sarcastically. I just rolled my eyes at her and pushed her head back down.  
“It’s a woman…” I said admitted succinctly.  
“Mmm… So another new girl.” She hummed with understanding before she picked up the pace.

She stroked me with her hand and let her mouth work my head for a while. Then she let go and took the whole damn thing in one gulp. When I hit the back of her throat my fuckin’ toes curled. She bobbed her head up and down faster and faster until she felt my cock start to flex. When I was about ready to burst she brought her fist up and pumped the fuckin’ cum outta me. I shot out in her mouth and she swallowed before licking me clean. Then she immediately stood to leave.

“You want my honest advice?” She asked while she smoothed her dress and touched up her lipstick.  
“Lay it on me.” I sighed.  
“Try to make friends with the girl before trying to get in her pussy for once.” She said on her way out.


	8. Operant Conditioning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **TRIGGER WARNING:** Before beginning this chapter, please note that there is a brief narrative implying past traumas involving the physical and sexual abuse of minors. Please proceed with caution.

Hold on to your titties ‘cause shits about to get real fuckin’ dark for a minute. I want to tell you this story to give you a little insight. I want you to try to understand me a little better…

When I was eight years old I was living in an ‘Orthodox’ foster home. I mean, _real_ fuckin’ ‘Orthodox’. I’m talkin’, ‘eat the labor of thine hands’ type shit. Idle hands led to lashings so we worked day in and day out ’til our fingers fuckin’ blistered and bled. The boys harvested the crops and the girls cooked them. At dinner time we sat on opposite sides of a long dinner table so that we didn’t touch hands when we prayed. When the day was done the boys bathed and slept on the first floor while the girls retreated to the second floor with ‘Our Prophet’. His name was Charlie and he was a fuckin’ youth minister who insisted their faith lied solely in his filthy godforsaken fuckin’ hands. We were told that was ‘the way God intended it’. And if we even so much as looked in his girls direction, we got the ever-livin' shit beat out of us. I know that because that’s how I got my first black eye but it was worth it for my first kiss I think.

I lived in that version of hell for about a year before the feds finally caught wind of what the fuck was happening. In the end, Charlie was arrested and sentenced to over 135 years in prison. Fortunately, he didn’t make it that long. Some very noble inmates beat him to death within a fuckin’ week. Now, I personally think he fuckin’ deserved every bit of it, if not fuckin’ more, but the fucker’s burnin’ in hell as we speak and that’s what matters. 

That time of my life most definitely left some irreversible blows and ramifications on the man I am today. Those were some formative fuckin’ years. Now, you can analyze and interpret that shit however you fuckin’ choose to fit my character but what’s indisputable is this; I was born to fuckin’ survive. I am a fuckin’ bad ass and no matter how shitty it was, I still like to think I gained a lot from that experience.

In fact, while the cops were reporting and interviewing the rest of the kids on the property, I ran to Charlie’s room and stole some of his shit. Cash, cigarettes, Cadbury chocolates, and a Hustler magazine that I hid in a book about a man named B.F. Skinner. When they finally found me, they confiscated the cigs and the dirty magazine before sending me on my way. Then it was just me and Skinner on an eight-hour bus ride to my new foster home.

That’s how I learned about something called ‘operant conditioning’. I won’t bore you with all the details even though there are a fuckin’ assload of them and it’s a lot more prevalent than you probably think. -But basically, it’s all about positive and negative reinforcements. On a basic level, it’s the way you train your dog to shit outside. On a more psychological level, it’s the shit dictatorships are made of. It’s a valuable tool I use every fuckin’ day, to this fuckin’ day and I was gonna use it on Lucille. I just had to get her to open up and trust me first.

***

One of my wives, Jackie, told me I should try to ‘make friends’ first. The problem is, how the hell do you make friends with someone when all you can think about is fuckin’ their feet out from under them? I was already picturing her legs wrapped around my waist and I hadn’t even fuckin’ knocked on her door yet. I was just standing there like a fuckin’ idiot. I had no real reason to even fuckin’ be there. It was Lucille’s day off and god knows she wanted nothing to do with me otherwise. I told myself it was fuckin’ stupid and I was just about to turn and leave when I heard a loud clatter behind the door.

_“God dammit!”_ She whined.

It sounded like my Little Bird was in distress and I couldn’t just leave the poor thing to struggle all on her own. That and I kinda wanted to know what the hell she was up to. So I took a minute to clear my fuckin’ head again and knocked. Hell, I could make friends with her. I just had to stay focused.

I heard her bare feet stomping as she rushed to her door. She yanked it open so quick the wind of it whipped her hair around her face. She was wearing it down today. I liked it down ‘cause she had these loose, sorta just-been-fucked waves. She already looked pissed by the interruption but when she realized it was me her whole fuckin’ body slouched.

“Oh god…” She sighed.  
“Not quite.” I grinned.  
“What are you doing here Satan?” She revised.  
“Just stopping by for a friendly visit. Sounds like you’re havin’ some trouble in there.” I motioned with my chin.  
“It’s nothing.” She waved it off.

I glanced over her shoulder and saw a box bigger than her tipped over on its side. Whatever was inside it was scattered and spilled out across the floor. It looked like it was supposed to be a piece of furniture of some kind but all she’d managed to build was a pile of shit. Maybe this project would be the just distraction I needed to keep my eyes off her ass for once. 

“Looks complicated. You want some help?” I offered.  
“Really?” She looked off-put.  
“If you’ll fuckin’ have me.” I referred to the way she guarded her door.  
“Okay, yeah… Sure.” She hesitantly stepped aside.

I’ll admit I was surprised. Even if she did need my help I figured she’d be way too fuckin’ proud to admit it. Instead, she just waited and observed while I propped my bat against her table and slipped off my jacket. I hung it neatly on the back of her dining room chair and did a little turn around her room. It had changed since the last time I’d been there. Everything was rearranged only now it looked even more fuckin’ cluttered than before. The state of it irked the shit outta me. Her clothes were tangled and balled up on the floor and the rack they used to hang on was in pieces on her bed.

“Trying to get a little fengshui goin’ in here or some shit?” I asked.  
“Yeah, I guess. I broke my rack in the process.” She grumbled.  
“Your rack looks fine to me.” I admired with a grin. I just couldn’t fuckin’ resist.  
“Okay! Thanks for all your help!” She showed me the way out.  
“Lighten up Little Bird. You set that one up yourself. Now, where are the hell are the instructions?” I asked.  
“Um… Buried somewhere…?” She kicked the crumpled packing paper with her bare toes.  
“Did you even try to fuckin’ read them?” I crouched.  
“Sure…” Her eyes shifted ‘cause she obviously fuckin’ hadn’t.  
“Do you _ever_ fuckin’ follow instructions?” I asked.  
“No.” She smirked like a smart ass.

I finally found the fuckin’ manual and started grouping and separating all the individual parts. I put them all in a row and took a minute to look over them and make sure everything was accounted for. I skimmed the directions but it was just page after page of a bunch of ‘connect part A to part B’ shit. This was gonna be a pain in the ass.

“You got a phillips head?” I asked.  
“Uh, yeah, I think so… Somewhere… Where did I…?”

She twirled around on her toes and fluttered aimlessly around her room for a minute. She did this a lot actually and it was weirdly captivating. It was like her mind and her body worked at two different tempos but you could tell she’d been doing it her whole life. The way she moved was… graceful. Like a well-rehearsed dance or something. Sometimes it was exhausting to watch her but I couldn’t fuckin’ help myself. She was an adorable little train wreck. She had to hop up on her bed to reach a cigar box on top of her shelves and started rummaging through it. When she finally found the screwdriver she bounced back down on one foot and sorta pranced over to me.

“Here.” She let out a heavy breath and brushed her hair from her face.  
“Thanks.” I smiled and it made her blush. “Now make yourself useful and start picking up this fuckin’ mess.” I switched.  
“Ugh, you’re so bossy.” She complained but did what she was told.

She sat on the floor with her legs crisscrossed and started folding and piling her clothes beside her while I got to assembling. She couldn’t keep her eyes off me though. It was like she was watching some rare fuckin’ phenomenon. When I glanced up questioningly at her she just shook her head and turned away again.

“What?” I asked.  
“It’s just weird.” She shrugged.  
“What’s weird?” I asked.  
“I don’t know, it’s like, watching the president scrub his own toilet or something.” She said and I laughed.  
“Well, you’re right. I don’t normally do this kinda shit myself.” I said.  
“Then why are you doing it?” She asked.  
“Just tryin’ to be friendly.” I said.  
“Since when?” She scoffed.  
“You don’t think I’m friendly?” I grinned, knowing better.  
“Are you kidding? You’re an asshole.” She said boldly and I paused long enough to give her a look.  
“You wanna do this your fuckin’ self?” I asked.  
“No…” She piped down.  
“Listen, I get why you think I’m an asshole. I _am_ an asshole but it’s just in my nature.” I said.  
“Then I’m guessing you didn’t have a lot of friends growing up.” She joked. 

I don’t really like talkin’ about my past, for obvious fuckin’ reasons, but I guess friends talk about that kinda shit. If I wanted her to give a little, I’d have to give a little myself.

“I didn’t.” I said simply. “You?” I asked.  
“Um… not really…” She shrugged. 

The room got awkwardly quiet while she fiddled with a loose string on one of her shirts. It was clear she didn’t like talkin’ about her past much either but I needed to know more.

“What about when you lived in Chicago? Didn’t you have a roommate or a boyfriend or something?” I asked.  
“I prefer living alone.” She said.  
“How does a part-time waitress afford to go to school and rent her own apartment? Did your daddy help pay for it?” I teased and the mention of her father immediately brought a fuckin’ scowl to her face.  
“I’ve managed my entire life just fine without him.” She said bitterly.  
“I see… Well, I’m assuming he’s dead now. -Possibly fuckin’ buried but who knows these days. Where was he-?” I started to pry a little further but she shut that shit down real quick.  
“-He’s dead. Let’s just leave it at that.” She said firmly.  
“Oh…” I just kinda raised my brows and widened my eyes at her. “Sounds like Daddy’s a touchy fuckin’ subject.” I said.  
“Yeah. Wanna talk about your dad instead?” She challenged.  
“Point taken, Little Bird. Come over here and help me lift this fuckin’ thing.” I motioned.

She welcomed the end of our the subject and sprung up off the floor with ease. Meanwhile, I stood straight and my fuckin’ knees popped and my back cracked. I winced and kinda leaned to stretch the knots out when I heard her stifle a laugh.

“Easy there grandpa. Don’t pull your back out.” She poked.  
“Fuck you Daddy’s girl.” I poked back.

Together we lifted the hallowed chest of drawers and scooted the base back against the wall. I took a minute to admire my handiwork and I was actually kinda fuckin’ proud of myself but Little Bird was eager to see the finished product. She reached for one of the drawers and lifted it off the floor so fast the handle just fuckin’ snapped off. She squeaked and flinched away when the wood clattered back down by her bare feet. She stood dumbfounded and gaping down at the handle she clutched in her palm. The look on her face fuckin’ broke me.

“What the fuck did you do!?” I doubled over.  
“I don’t know!” She cried.

For the first time, she was actually laughing _with_ me and she had a beautiful fuckin’ laugh. It was bubbly and rambunctious and the way it wrinkled her nose and lit up her eyes made me feel weird. It was like there was a fuckin’ knot in my stomach. I don’t know why but it was kind of unsettling.

“Why don’t you put that handle back on so you can say you actually fuckin’ did something?” I offered her the screwdriver.  
“Fine, just hold it steady…” She mumbled.

She crouched down on her knees in front of me and hunched over to reach. I watched the way she wrinkled her brow and nibbled her lips while she worked. Before long my eyes started to wander down the length of her body and I needed another distraction.

“So how’d you do it?” I asked.  
“Huh?” Her face was suddenly ridden with obvious fuckin’ guilt but the question seemed innocent enough. What the hell did she think I was referring to?  
“How’d you pay rent?” I clarified and she loosened up.  
“Honestly?” She asked.  
“Well, I’d prefer if you didn’t fuckin’ lie to me.” I laughed.  
“I sold pills.” She said.  
“Really… What kinda pills?” I asked.  
“The kind doctors give neurotic young women with daddy issues and attention deficit disorder.” She stood suddenly.

Of course that only added to my growing list of fuckin’ questions, but I knew I could only push her so far before she closed herself off again. Instead, I just helped her lift the drawers and set them into place. Once the fuckin’ thing was finally complete she stepped back and beamed while she looked it over. I was busy watching her. It was funny how, despite everything, the little things still brought a smile to her face. 

“So… Friends?” I offered my hand for a shake.  
“Friends.” She nodded and returned the gesture.  
“Anything else I can help you with?” I asked.  
“Wanna help me fold the rest of these clothes?” She asked.  
“Fuck no. I was just trying to be polite.” I turned and gathered my things before heading for the door.  
“Negan.” She stopped me. “Thank you.” She said sincerely and smiled sweetly at me. It made that weird fuckin’ feeling come back.  
“See you tomorrow.” I said.  
“Bright and early.” She nodded obediently as I left.

And _that_ is what you call, ‘operant fuckin’ conditioning’. As far as the weird feeling I still had in the pit of my stomach… Well, I didn’t know what the fuck that was.

***

By the time summer came around I got to know Lucille better. Granted, she still wouldn’t tell me much more about her past. What I did learn though, was she was like a child at heart. Sometimes to the point of reckless and naive, but she had an old soul. She liked old books, old movies, old music… I could actually fuckin’ relate to her. We were able to form a bond and we were gettin’ along pretty fuckin’ dandy. I mean, I still harassed the shit outta her, and of course, she never passed up the opportunity to talk shit to me. God forbid she ever give up the last fuckin’ word, but she tolerated me a little better. It felt more like a playful banter between us now. Sometimes it even turned into blatant fuckin’ flirtation when no one else was around. 

So yeah, I definitely still wanted to fuck her but I also just kinda liked havin’ her around to talk to. I liked havin’ her readily available in the same room most of the time and I’d grown accustomed to her being there. She was like my little sidekick. She liked to pretend she hated that, but the truth was my strict routine brought order to her life and it leveled her out a bit. 

I, on the other hand, was starting to lose my fuckin’ grip. That fuckin’ feeling in my stomach? It just got fuckin’ worse the closer I got to her. I was becoming invested in her. It was unusual for me to have feelings like these. I didn’t get caught up in shit like this. I didn’t believe it in it and I didn’t have room for it in my life. All it did was fuck with my head and make me do stupid shit.

For fuckin’ instance; I’d just finished up a supply run with my boys and the first fuckin’ place I went to was Lucille’s door. I’ll admit it was because I kinda fuckin’ missed her. I was looking forward to just shootin’ the shit with her and tellin’ her about my day, but she was not fuckin’ havin’ it. When she answered her door it was clear she wasn’t the least bit fuckin’ thrilled to see me. I could probably guess why but it didn’t fuckin’ matter. She just looked so damn good in her little cut-off, and I mean cut the fuck off, denim shorts. I swear she wore them just to fuck with me.

“Negan.” She declared.  
“Mornin’ Little Bird.” I looked her up and down.  
“It’s noon.” She stomped away.  
“Now, see that’s why I need you.” I followed after.

I plopped down on the edge of her bed while she routinely fetched me a cold beer. I watched while she bent over in those little shorts and admired the perfect fuckin’ view of her ass. This had become my favorite fuckin’ part of the day. She popped the top off for me and handed it over but she still had that fuckin’ look on her face. Beautiful with just a hint of bitchy.

“Did you have an eventful morning?” She asked bitterly.  
“Did you?” I grinned before taking a sip.  
“Oh yeah, I’ve had a great fucking time.” She said sarcastically.  
“What’s with the shitty fuckin’ attitude?” I asked like I didn’t already fuckin’ know.  
“Nothing.” She pouted.  
“Now, now, Little Bird, is this about what I think it’s about?” I asked.  
“When are you going to let me join the Saviors?” She asked. _And here we go again._  
“When I think you’re ready.” I sighed because I’d said it over and fuckin’ over again.  
“It’s been months, Negan. I am ready.” She insisted.  
“Well, I’m not. How do I know your feisty little ass isn’t gonna shoot me the second I look away?” I asked.  
“Jesus, if I was going to kill you, I would have done it by now.” She rolled her eyes.  
“Hey.” I stood and towered over her. “What have I told you about rollin’ your fuckin’ eyes at me?” I warned.

It wasn’t so much about that so much as it was how she was fuckin’ talkin’ to me. That was the kind of shit that got her in trouble. If she couldn’t control her fuckin’ temper now, she sure as shit couldn’t do it on the fuckin’ front lines with a god damn gun in her hand. And the truth was, it wasn’t that I was afraid she’d shoot me at all. I was afraid she’d get her fuckin’ self killed. Like I said, I was invested in her.

“Tell me when.” She demanded.  
“When you finally learn how to bite your fuckin’ tongue.” I snapped my teeth at her.  
“You’re wasting your own resources.” She stomped off again so I followed after her.  
“You think I don’t know what you’re capable of? You think I don’t see you out there training like you’re gearing up for fuckin’ war? I’ve watched you fuckin’ torture and kill a man. I know damn well what you’re capable of, and it is fuckin’ phenomenal. The only thing stopping you is yourself-” Then all the sudden I caught a whiff of something sweet. It fogged up my fuckin’ mind. _Was she wearing fuckin’ perfume?_ “What the fuck is that?” I asked.  
“What?” She wrinkled her brows.  
“That smell. What is that?” I sniffed her hair and she blushed. She fuckin’ _was._  
“It’s just something I got from one of the vendors.” She brushed it off but I wanted fuckin’ more.  
“God damn, you smell good!” I said.

I grabbed ahold of her wrist and brought it up to my nose. I closed my eyes, inhaled and savored the sweet scent of the perfume and the way it mixed with the heat of her silky fuckin’ skin. _Fuck_ she smelled fuckin’ delicious. She felt so fuckin’ soft. I could barely resist sinking my fuckin’ teeth in her. My mouth was fuckin’ watering just thinking about it. When I looked down at her she was fuckin’ melting. The way she gazed up at me looked like she was just as fuckin’ thirsty. So I took the fuckin’ plunge.

I fuckin’ yanked her into me and took her head in my hands before sliding my fingers down her neck. The way her skin felt underneath my fingertips made me hard as shit and I took a second to admire the sight of her beneath me. Her cheeks were flushed and glowing. Her lips were quivering. Her big, hungry green eyes were on fire. The longer I looked into them the more her body vibrated against me. I licked my lips and a little airy moan escaped her. Holy shit she was fuckin’ losin’ it. This was it. This was my fuckin’ chance to go in for the fuckin’ kill.

“Don’t…” She whispered suddenly and her eyes fluttered closed. 

_God dammit!_ This shit was like fuckin’ torture! How the fuck was she doing it!?

“So close.” I pinched her side just to see her squirm a little.  
“God! Stop it!” She whined and shoved away.  
“Such a fuckin’ crybaby today.” I laughed and left before I came in my fuckin’ pants.

Once again, today wasn’t the fuckin’ day. It would never be the fuckin’ day until I gave her what she fuckin’ wanted.

***

That night I got drunk as shit and summoned wife number five. Her name was Natasha. A tall, bombshell brunette. She was like Lucille in the sense that she wasn’t really impressed by all the material things. All she wanted to do was fuck me. _Hard._ See, she got her kicks by fucking powerful men and that made me the fuckin’ man of her fuckin’ dreams.

“Hi…” She batted her lashes.  
“Natasha… What took you so fuckin’ long.” I slurred.  
“I had to freshen up for you.” She said.  
“Freshen up. The fuck… Just get the fuck over here.” I waved my hand impatiently at her.

She hopped right fuckin’ to it and the second she was within arms reach I devoured her. I didn’t even bother with the buttons on her dress. I just fuckin’ ripped the fabric off her and yanked it down to her feet. Her perfume was different but it sort of reminded me of Lucille and that made my fuckin’ cock throb. I licked the skin of her neck and chest until she was moaning for more. I wrenched her bra away and took her nipple between my teeth. When I bit down she cried out and gripped my hair. I reached down and sunk my fingers into her panties and dove into her wetness. She was fuckin’ soaked so I shoved her back into the wall and pressed her there. Then I drunkenly fumbled with my belt for a minute before I whipped my dick out. I tugged her panties aside and slipped it deep inside of her. It was warm and fuckin' tight. She trembled all over and screamed out my name so I started pounding into her so hard she had to wrap her fuckin’ legs around me to keep from falling over. I tried to picture Lucille but Natasha's face was distracting me so I spun her around. While she steadied herself against the wall I pulled my belt from its loops and wrapped it around her waist. I used it as leverage to fuck her so hard her ass fuckin’ clapped against me. -But it wasn’t enough. I wanted so much fuckin’ more.

“Tell me you fuckin’ love me.” I panted.  
“-But we’re not supposed to-“  
“Say it!” I spanked her.  
“Ah! I love you, Negan!” She whimpered.

Her voice wasn’t right. It was too high pitched. Almost fuckin’ piercing. The more she cried out, the more the vision of Lucille faded from my fuckin’ mind. I reached around and cupped my fuckin’ hand over her mouth and picked up the pace. Then I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on Lucille again. Her fuckin’ lips, the way she looked up at me with those fuckin’ eyes. I remembered the fuckin’ smell of her and imagined what she might fuckin’ taste like. It was enough to fuckin’ push me over the fuckin’ edge. I felt my heart start to fuckin’ race. My knees got fuckin’ weak. All of the pressure that had been building in my fuckin’ stomach burst and I came so fuckin’ hard I almost lost my fuckin’ footing.

“Ah fuck! Fuck… L-Lucille…” I groaned.

As soon as her name fell out of my fuckin’ mouth my eyes bolted open and I felt sober as fuck. Reality set in real fuckin’ quick. There I was, buried in another woman’s pussy, losing my fuckin’ head. What the fuck was happening to me?


	9. Playing With Fire

Let’s get one thing fuckin’ straight here. That shit I said when I was fucking my wife Natasha the other night? It didn’t fuckin’ mean anything. I was _not_ falling for Lucille. I was not _in love_ with her I just got a little carried away and said some weird drunk shit. A man can’t be held responsible for what he says when he’s five glasses deep in whiskey and balls deep in good pussy. All this was, was an unhealthy fuckin’ obsession and it wasn’t even about her, it was about winning. -But I’ll admit it freaked me the fuck out a little. It wasn’t like me to slip up like that. I had to pull my shit together and get some control back.

You see, the problem wasn’t _if_ Lucille wanted to bump uglies, she damn sure wanted to, she just wouldn’t because she was smart. She knew by now what the fuck she was doin’ to me and she wasn’t gonna give in until she got what she wanted. What she wanted was to join my Saviors. I still didn’t think she was ready, but I knew I was gonna have to bend a little if I wanted her to fuckin’ spread. The thing is, I was better at this fuckin’ game than her. And little did she fuckin know, I already had a plan in motion.

There’s a community not far from the roost who liked to call themselves ‘the Pillagers’. A real badass handle for a group of fuckin’ rejects. Normally ‘the Rejects’ were easy fuckin’ pickins but lately, they’d been comin’ up short handed. I’d had a feelin’ they were holdin’ out on me and it didn’t take me long to sniff them out and realize they were trying to rebel. 

These fuckin’ people… These fuckin’ rookie communities all think they’re gonna be the ones to take me down. They all think they’re bold enough. -But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I am the alpha and the omega. This is my fuckin’ land and I lay down the new fuckin’ law. They all learn in the end.

I sent my Saviors under the radar to snag a few of these Rejects. My boys proceeded to rough the hostages up a bit and when they were good and tender they brought em’ over to me to grill. Once they confessed their plot to turn on me I offered them an ultimatum. In exchange for their cooperation, I promised I’d allow them to live. I’m so damn generous I even offered them a safe place inside my Sanctuary. If they chose to decline, I’d just bash their fuckin’ heads in, wrap them up with a bow and then ship them back to the shit hole they crawled out of to set a fuckin’ example. They were more than happy to accept my offer.

So the plan was this; We’d continue our regularly scheduled pick up with the Rejects like everything was peachy fuckin’ keen. The sellouts would play along with their plan to ambush me, then when the time was right, they’d flip the script and turn on their own. Meanwhile, I was gonna let Lucille join in on the action. I was gonna give her a taste of what she wanted. Just enough to get her wrapped around my finger. -Or my dick. Whichever came first. Her job would be _very_ fuckin’ simple. Stay in the fuckin’ truck.

It was a 'two birds, one stone' situation. I’d further display my reach of power among the Rejects, and in the meantime, I’d test my control over Lucille. If all went according to plan, my Little Bird would be safe and sound and the rest would play out as it should. You could say it was a bit reckless considering a few could potentially die in the process, but not everyone had to. _I_ damn sure wasn’t going to.

***

When the hour finally arrived, I didn’t fuckin’ like the idea so much. It made me anxious. For one, I couldn’t bet on Little Bird and just assume she’d fuckin’ do right. And for two, I didn’t like putting her in the line of fire. What would I do if I fuckin’ lost her? My own fuckin’ desk work? I should have followed my fuckin’ gut but I was stuck between a rock and a real fuckin’ hard place.

I was standing on the platform overlooking my community. My fingers idly picked at the yellow paint that was starting to chip after a couple whacks from my bat. I found solace there watching my people. Consistency, efficiency, order… All of it played out before my eyes and it settled my nerves a bit.

“Something on your mind Boss?” My buddy Simon joined me.  
“What do you think the chances are these Rejects are gonna back out on us?” I asked him. 

That wasn’t really my concern. I was confident in my ‘negotiation skills’ but I couldn’t tell him I was thinking about Lucille. As far as he and the rest of the community were concerned she was my assistant and nothing else. I aimed to keep it that way. I couldn’t let them find out I was fuckin’ slipping.

“Even if they do, we can handle it. We’re the big dogs, Boss. You know that.” Simon assured me.  
“We could lose people.” I noted.  
“We’ve faced bigger threats than the damn Rejects. It's like you said, worst case scenario, we take the bad eggs down and overrun the rest.” He said.  
“Right.” I tapped my bat on my boot. 

That was a nervous tick of mine I couldn’t seem to shake. I didn’t like havin’ ticks like that because those were the kinda signals I searched for in people. That was the kinda shit that gave them away. Simon knew that about me and he noticed it too.

“You know, if you’re not feeling up for it, I’d be happy to take the lead.” He offered.  
“Nah, I want you to stay here and watch the homestead. Do me a solid and fetch my Little Bird would ya?” I said.  
“Is it graduation day already?” He looked perturbed.  
“No. It’s an assessment.” I made my way downstairs.

Simon still didn’t look all that enthused by the idea but he didn’t question me. He just did his fuckin’ job like the rest of them. I could only hope Little Bird would do the fuckin’ same.

***

A little while later I was observing while my Saviors loaded up the trucks and prepped for the road. The sun was finally up and best I could tell it was about eight. We’d get to the meeting spot close to nine o’ clock. We were right on schedule but I still couldn’t fuckin’ relax. 

Then when Little Bird finally came hopping down the steps I couldn’t help but fuckin’ smile. She was wearin’ those little denim shorts I liked and she had her hair pulled up in a loose bun. It sat on top of her head like a nest. -In a good way. Effortlessly. With all the bullshit on my mind, I’d almost forgotten about the day before when I tried to kiss her. Seeing her now reminded me again and I could tell she certainly hadn’t fuckin’ forgotten. It was still written all over her pretty face.

“There’s my girl!” I swung my bat onto my shoulder and greeted her.  
“Why so early?” She complained like it was really all that fuckin’ early.  
“You want the worm, don’t you Little Bird? It’s a big one.” I winked at her.  
“What?” Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed a little more. She was definitely fuckin’ thinkin’ about it.  
“I’m gonna take you for a little joy ride in my ‘Betty’ today.” I motioned to my truck.

I love that damn truck. It’s a classic 67. Royal blue and chrome. I used to drive one just like it in my early twenties only this one was in much better shape. Now, I’m meticulous about most if not all fuckin’ things, but my Betty was my fuckin’ treasure. I kept her clean as my fuckin’ dick and no one else was allowed anywhere near her. The fact that my Little Bird got to go for a ride said a lot.

“Seriously?” Her eyes lit up.  
“Don’t get too excited now. You’ll be on a very tight leash.” I noted.  
“Do I get a gun?” She asked as she climbed inside.  
“Hell no! You’re staying in the truck.” I turned the ignition and Betty roared to a start. That shit always tickled my balls a little.  
“Then why the hell-“ She started.  
“Nope!” I lifted my bat. “You wanna play? You play by the rules, and I make the fuckin’ rules. Got it?” She nodded. “Say ‘yes sir’.” I grinned and squirmed as I teased her. Good god, I loved to fuckin’ tease her.  
“Yes sir…” She mumbled through her teeth and scowled at me.  
“Attagirl!” I laughed before signaling the boys to move out.

Once we were on the road you’d think I was takin’ her to fuckin’ Disneyland. She was restless and bouncing in her seat, looking out the window like she’d never seen a fuckin’ tree before. She rolled down her window and tipped her head out to breathe in the morning air. The way it made her giggle when her dark hair tickled her face… It was… cute. She looked so fuckin’ innocent in that moment. This was a bad idea. All of it. It was a fuckin’ mistake. By the time we reached our exit I was sure I’d fucked up.

“Listen, when we get there I want you to keep your ass in this truck. Do you understand?” I said firmly.  
“Yeah, I know, I get it.” I glanced over and caught her rolling her fuckin’ eyes at me. She tried to play it off but I was pissed. She wasn’t taking this shit seriously enough.  
“Now you’re already starting on thin fuckin’ ice! Do not set a fuckin’ foot out of this truck! Don’t even touch the fuckin’ door handle! In fact-” She was surprised when I reached across her and yanked her seatbelt over her lap. “Don’t move a fuckin’ inch!” My hand sort of grazed her bare legs when I latched it and I felt a little shock run through her.  
“Ok, I won’t!” She instinctively squeezed her thighs shut. I gave her the ‘no bull shit’ look until she shied away. “I won’t.” She mumbled.

I slammed my door behind me and put my fuckin’ game face on. The Rejects were waiting in front of a looted supermarket and I could already tell they were antsy. I kept my fuckin’ cool and steadily made my way over. My Saviors were ready in position and they stepped aside as I joined them. I came face to face with the head Reject. He was a stalky little dude. Kinda looked like he’d been in a bar scuff or two in his life. He always looked at me with a fuckin’ attitude, like I’d shit in his cheerios, but I just greeted him with a smile. When I swung my bat up onto my shoulder they all fuckin’ flinched.

“Mornin’.” I said simply.  
“We brought what we had. Sixty, forty.” ‘Cheerios’ quoted the numbers. 

I took a minute to look over their offering. A few crates filled with canned goods and some other useless bullshit. It wasn’t enough.

“Well that simply _will not_ do. What am I gonna do with a can of beans and a-” I paused to look the pile over again. “Is that a fuckin’ coat hanger?” I laughed.  
“I told you, it’s what we had.” He snarled at me. 

I raised my brows at his tone and inched in until I breached a comfortable distance. From up close I could see the sweat on his brow and the way it twitched with tension. His breathing was already getting quicker, his pulse had reached his temples. I stared into him, waiting and watching for him to fuckin’ break.

“Are you Rejects tryin’ to pull one over on me?” I kept my voice low and just grinned wider still. “‘Cause that is a _big _fuckin’ no-no.” I gripped my bat a little tighter until my leather glove creaked against the handle. The sound alone made his eyes shudder.__  
“We did our part. If you want more go find it your fucking self.” He lipped off.  
“Excuse the fuck outta me but did you grow some fuckin’ nuts since the last time we met?” I laughed.  
“Fuck off!” He spit.

I didn’t have to lift a fuckin’ finger. My Saviors had already drawn their weapons and had them pointed smack dab in the middle of the Reject’s fuckin’ faces. The air was so fuckin’ thick you could feel even the slightest movement. From the corner of my eye, I saw one of them fidgeting. I glanced in her direction and watched the way her eyes shifted. She was a real nervous, mousy lookin' thing. She steadied her weight on her scrawny ankles like she was ready to fuckin’ bolt. I didn’t even need to look to know my plan was unfolding. The sellouts were movin’ in. It was no wonder their ‘leader’ was feelin’ so fuckin’ bold. This was all too fuckin’ easy. 

Then, all the fuckin’ sudden I heard a distant tussle behind me. We all fuckin’ heard it and within a mere fuckin’ fraction of a fuckin’ second, barrels were up and fuckin’ blazin’. _God dammit Lucille!!_ I spun around, and sure enough, I spotted her not _just_ out of the fuckin’ truck but straddling one of the fuckin’ sell outs. She was shoving a god damn knife in their throat. _For fuck sake!!_

There was chaos erupting all around me. Every bit of control had fuckin’ shattered and all I felt was pure fuckin’ rage boiling over inside me. I fuckin’ stormed over in Lucille’s direction, not the least bit concerned with friendly or unfriendly fire. All I saw was fuckin’ red. Someone was coming toward me and I didn’t even fuckin’ blink. I just smashed my bat into the side of their fuckin’ face and kept moving. That fuckin’ rat woman was movin’ in on Little Bird. I was comin’ in quick with my bat up and ready for another swing when there was a loud bang. Lucille had tried to take a shot but she missed and I heard a fuckin’ bullet zip past me. A second later the rat collapsed onto her back with Lucille’s fuckin’ knife in her chest. If I hadn’t been so pissed I’d have been impressed by her knife skills. When I looked up again the innocent girl I’d seen before was long fuckin’ gone and replaced with somethin’ fuckin’ wild and feral. Her face was stained with blood and she looked about ready to gnaw someone’s fuckin’ neck out. That savage little asshole. 

“What the fuck!” I yanked her knife out of the body at my feet and stomped toward her. Her expression switched and she almost cowered beneath the height of me. “You almost shot me! What the fuck! Get back in the god damn truck!” I shouted. 

She was saying something but I didn’t fuckin’ hear it. I didn’t want to fuckin’ hear it. I damn near threw her back into the truck and locked her inside to deal with her later. I needed to let some of the fuckin’ rage out first. By then, the sudden storm of bullets had ended. My Saviors already had two of the last Rejects standing, only they weren’t fuckin’ standing, they were fuckin’ kneeling. Just waiting for my execution. 

“You stupid little pricks! Did you really think you were goin’ to fuckin’ ambush me and get away with it? No, no, no! Fuuuck… no!” 

I cracked ‘Cheerios’ open first and he toppled over. When he hit the ground I swung again, so damn hard his head caved and my bat struck the pavement. The handle rattled and ached in my hands. The sound of his brains splattering across the ground was like music to my fuckin’ ears. When I felt hot blood spurt across my face it instantly cooled me. God dammit that shit felt good! I sighed as a little wave of euphoria coursed through my burning veins and then I turned to the last one. He was cryin’ like a fuckin’ bitch. I pressed the end of my bat into his head and just fuckin’ laughed before I squatted down to look him in the eyes. 

“Now, now, dry it the fuck up! It’s your lucky fuckin’ day! I’m gonna let you live! ‘Cause I want you to run and tell all your friends what happened here today! And goddammit, when I come back if you’re not all bowing at my fuckin’ feet I will crush every one of your fuckin’ skulls into the god damn ground!” He just fuckin’ nodded and practically fuckin’ thanked me before I released him. Then I turned to my loyal fuckin’ Saviors. “Pack up all of their shit before you leave. -And let’s make the message, very, very fuckin’ clear.” 

I didn’t need to fuckin’ elaborate. They knew damn well what I wanted. While they worked on beatin’ the shit out of the last Reject, I made my way back to Lucille. I was still mad as hell, but my head was finally startin’ to clear. 

I tossed my bloodied bat into the bed of the truck and started her up again. The familiar roar that I’d come to love didn’t do much for me in that moment. I was already vibrating all over. I yanked the shifter into drive and hightailed it back toward the highway. All the while, Lucille was balled up as small as she could fuckin’ get in her corner of the truck. She knew she was in deep shit. I’ll admit, the further we got from the aftermath, the more relieved I felt. She was safe again. -But I pulled over to chew her ass out anyway because fuck her. 

“I told you to stay in the fuckin’ truck.” I said.  
“Negan-“ She started.  
“No! Fuck no! You don’t get to talk right now!” I shouted. I had no fuckin’ patience for her fuckin’ lip.  
“Would you rather me have just let them kill you then? If it weren’t for me, you could be dead right now!” -But she kept fuckin’ pushin’.  
“You think I need you to save me!? You think I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing!? I have eyes everywhere! The first woman you killed!? She was under -fuckin’- cover! _For me!_ I spotted that fuckin’ ambush a mile away!” Sudden fuckin’ realization came to her face. “Yeah, you’re real proud now aren’t you?” I growled.  
“Why didn’t you just fill me in to begin with? This would never have happened if you’d just fucking told me!” She shouted and the last bit of simmering rage in me started to boil again.  
“I don’t have to fuckin’ explain myself to you! You work for me! You answer to me! You do what you’re told! What the fuck is it going to take for you to fuckin’ understand that!?” I snapped.  
“You did this on purpose! You set me up to fail and it backfired on you! This is _your_ fault! _You_ did this! If you would just-” 

The fuckin’ nerve of that god damn woman was driving me fuckin’ insane. I brought my hand to her mouth and squeezed it fuckin’ shut. I pressed the weight of my body against her and pinned her to the seat of the truck and she started flailing like a fuckin’ madwoman. She tried to fuckin’ _bite_ me for fuck sake! 

“Hey! Knock that shit off! Knock it off!” I restrained her.  
“Get off me!” She growled into my palm.  
“Are you gonna shut up and listen?” I shook her and waited until she finally nodded into submission before loosening my grip a little bit.  
“I brought you here today to test you, and you failed fuckin’ _miserably_. -But it wasn’t because of your skills, or your loyalty, or whatever the fuck else you’ve got going on up there in that cluster-fuck.” I pointed to her bloodstained temple and she just glared at me. “What you need to understand is, the only thing holding you back is you don’t listen for shit, and you can’t seem to shut your fuckin’ mouth. Now I’m hoping after today, you might have finally figured that shit out. Have you?” I finally pulled my hand away from her lips. 

I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way she squirmed and panted underneath me. Maybe it was all the adrenaline that fueled the fire between us. Maybe I’m just fuckin’ insane but there was something about the way she looked in that moment. Her cheeks were red and glazed. Her eyes were still flickering with that wild hunger. Her hair was a fuckin’ mess. If we hadn’t been covered in blood you’d almost think- 

“I can learn to listen, but I can’t promise I won’t talk shit while I do it.” 

She broke my chain of thought. After all this, she was still too proud to bite her fuckin’ tongue. All I could fuckin’ do was laugh ‘cause now, I was gonna bite it for her. 

“I’m not sure you can either, but you should know…” I brought her lips so close to mine I could feel her breath. “You say something I don’t like, and I swear I will punish the shit outta you. You understand?” I asked. 

_This_ was my fuckin’ chance. This time I fuckin’ knew it. I saw it. I felt it. This time, she kept her eyes on me and the spark fuckin’ ignited. She nodded her head ‘yes’, but I wanted to hear her fuckin’ say it. 

“Say, ‘yes sir’.” I commanded her.  
“Yes sir.” Her voice quivered.  
“You want to play then? Is that what you want?” I gave her one last chance to turn and run.  
“Yes sir.” -But she surrendered. 

_I went the fuck in._ I pulled her on top of me so fast she gasped. I clutched the sides of her face and _finally_ took her fuckin’ lips. The taste of her mouth on mine was like fuckin’ morphine. It made everything else in the fuckin’ world melt away. I groped her with greedy fuckin’ hands. I took fistfuls of her hair and skin. The way she whimpered against my lips drove me fuckin’ wild. I couldn’t get her close enough no matter how fuckin’ hard I pulled her into me. I just couldn’t get enough. I wanted more. I wanted _all_ of her. I bit the skin of her neck she cried out and moaned. Her whole body trembled on top of me. She shifted in my lap and I could feel the heat of her pussy against my dick. It was _so_ fuckin’ hot when she started grinding against me. I could only imagine how fuckin’ wet she was in that moment. So I stopped her. 

What’s the matter? Are you surprised? Did you really think I was gonna go back on my fuckin’ word? I told you before, I was _gonna_ have her, but she was gonna fuckin’ beg for it first. And so are you. 


	10. Kneel

I know… I am a cruel son of a bitch. Believe me, it pained me to do that shit. That day in the truck, when I’d finally got my paws wrapped around my Little Bird, I didn’t _want_ to stop. I _had_ to stop. She was so damn sure I was gonna fuck her right then and there. -And don’t get me wrong, I fuckin’ wanted to, but after all her shit I had to show her who had the upper hand. I needed her to know I called the fuckin’ shots and that I was the one in control. You better fuckin’ believe she was pissed but I wasn’t gonna _reward_ her. For fuckin’ what? She’d blatantly disobeyed me, and because of her, the whole damn plan I’d concocted fell right out from under me and straight down the shitter. Granted, we hadn’t lost anyone of consequence that day, but we fuckin’ _could_ have. That’s why she needed to learn her fuckin’ place. She needed to learn how to follow the fuckin’ rules. It was the only way she would get what she truly wanted from me. This wasn’t easy for me. Trust me. It took every ounce of willpower I had to pry that hot piece of ass off me but I’d been anticipating that moment. It’s what came next that surprised me.

I obviously turned to my wives in my time of desperate need. -But the only problem was, now that I’d had a taste of Lucille, nothing else could satiate my fuckin’ appetite. They all seemed so fuckin’ tired and boring after her. I tried to fuck around with them, and I swear to christ, this never fuckin’ happens to me. -And _I_ fuckin’ mean it when I say it. This _never fuckin’ happens to me_. I lost my fuckin’ stiffy. My sails fuckin’ dropped. My tugboat fuckin’ sunk. Lucille was like poison to my dick. She fuckin’ _ruined_ me. Of course, I didn’t just give up. Hell no! I powered through that shit and I _got_ my fuckin’ nut out but I never had to work that damn hard in my sexually active life. I wasn’t at all prepared for that shit.

After that happened I kept my distance from Lucille just to prove to myself that I fuckin’ could. I had to prove to myself that I didn’t fuckin’ need her for shit. -But being away from her put me in a real shitty fuckin’ mood. The following week, when I joined my Saviors for a meeting, I didn’t even care to participate. I just sat in for appearance sake. I couldn’t wait for that shit to end, but I noticed someone else seemed chipper as shit.

_David._ He was so giddy his body was restless. He had one leg draped casually over the other but he was shaking his foot like he could hardly fuckin’ contain his excitement. One of his hands was drumming on his knee while the other tossed an apple up in the air and caught it before he took a bite. He cracked some stupid joke with his mouth full and the whole table thought he was fuckin’ hilarious. I just wanted to smack that damn apple out of his hand and knock the goofy ass smile off his face. What the fuck was he so goddamn happy about?

“David, I’m putting you on watchtower duty today.” I assigned him grunt work just to bring his mood down a notch or two.  
“Sure! I wouldn’t mind taking a load off for a day!” He shrugged.

Now see, that shit rubbed me the wrong way. David wasn’t one to ‘take a load off’. He prided himself on his work and he worked hard. I never gave David bullshit jobs because he was too good a Savior for them. He knew that too. So why was he so damn happy to fuckin’ do it? I had to know. So I pulled him aside to find out.

“What the fuck are you grinnin’ about?” I asked him outright.  
“Huh? Nothin’.” He shrugged and avoided eye contact by trashing his apple core and clapping his hands clean.  
“Did-“ I leaned down to catch his gaze again. “Did you finally get your dick tickled or somethin’?” I asked in a sorta playfully suspicious way.  
“No, no…” He laughed and shook his head but he broke eye contact again. He tried to hide his lingering smile by picking the apple pulp from his teeth.  
“Well, I’ll be damned. You _did_ , didn’t you? You finally pulled that tail you’ve been chasin’.” I continued faking my friendliness by gripping his shoulder and shakin’ him up a bit but he wouldn’t budge.  
“No, seriously! I didn’t!” He laughed it off. “I just hung around the basement bar for a couple rounds of hold em’ last night. Won a pretty big hand.” He said.  
“Big prize too huh?” I narrowed my eyes.  
“Well, two packs of cigarettes anyway. See ya 'round boss.” He bailed before I could interrogate him any further.

Here’s the thing, my Saviors do _not_ keep secrets from me. David was one of the most loyal ones of the bunch. He definitely didn’t keep secrets from me, and yet, I knew that fucker was lying to me. -But why? As far as he was concerned he didn’t have any reason to. He didn’t have anything to hide… But Lucille fuckin’ did.

***

I went straight to the fuckin’ source of my grief and with every step I took, I got madder. Madder than hell. Lucille fucked David. I _knew_ she fucked him. Not only did she fuckin’ fuck him but she fuckin’ convinced him to fuckin’ lie to my fuckin’ face. She turned one of my Saviors against me and that shit was not gonna fuckin’ fly. Not in my fuckin’ Sanctuary. I couldn’t justifiably punish David without him finding out about Lucille and I’s… situation, but I could _damn sure_ punish her. She broke my biggest fuckin’ rule of all and now I was gonna lay down the fuckin’ law. -But first, I wanted her to fuckin’ confess. So when I finally arrived at her door I knocked good and loud.

_“Who is it?”_ She rasped like she was just waking up. It was fuckin’ noon.  
“It’s the big bad wolf.” I growled.  
_“Uh, hang on.”_ The sound of my voice perked her right the fuck up.

I could hear her stumbling out of her bed and scurrying around her room for a minute. No doubt trying to make it look like she hadn’t been up all night drinking and fucking. When her pattering feet finally came toward the door I heard a loud thud. She fumbled and hissed _’shit’_ before she swung open the door. Her thick, dark brows were wrinkled in pain while she teetered on one foot clutching her toes.

Damn, she was beautiful. Even with sleep-heavy eyes and her hair a fuckin’ mess. Even though I knew just hours before she’d been fucking someone else. It had only been a week since I’d seen her but it felt like it’d been fuckin’ ages. I realized in that moment how much I’d fuckin’ missed her and I almost forgot why I was mad again. -Almost.

“Aw… Did I wake you?” I clicked my tongue sympathetically at her.  
“Yes.” She glared up at me.  
“Who knew you were so damn cute in the morning?” I couldn’t resist ruffling her hair. It’s not like I could make it any worse.  
“What do you want, Negan?” She swiped my hand away.  
“I wanna know what’s got your panties in such a fuckin’ knot. I’m sure you’re just dying to tell me.” I grinned.  
“I’ve got nothing to say.” That little asshole tried to close her fuckin’ door in my face but I blocked it with my bat and strolled inside anyway.  
“Nope. That’s not how this works. I am speaking to you.” I said, closing the door behind me.  
“Oh, now? After days, you suddenly have something to say?” She raised her voice and fell right into my clutches.  
“There it is!” I laughed.  
“So what? You had nothing better to do today, so you came here to antagonize me?” She asked.  
“Sure, why not?” I shrugged. 

I made myself at home and reached into her mini fridge for a cold beer. I popped off the top and took a good, long swig while I watched her bitch and moan and finally start gettin’ ready for the day. She did her frantic little dance around the chaos of her room while she gathered up her hair on top of her head. She searched aimlessly with one hand for something to tie it up with. There was a tie sitting right in front of me on the counter but I let her struggle a little while longer just for the hell of it.

“My god you’re aggravating.” She mumbled.  
“Me? You’ve been a fuckin’ pain since the day I laid eyes on that sweet ass. I asked you to be my wife, and you thanked me by nearly blowing my fuckin’ head off.” I said.  
“Yeah, you were just an inch too short.” She rolled her fuckin’ eyes at me.  
“Careful, Little Bird.” I warned her. She was in no fuckin’ place to start talkin’ shit.  
“Goddammit…” She sighed and dropped her hair to slam the drawers _I’d_ fuckin’ built for her. She was so fuckin’ careless.  
“Looking for one of these?” I finally picked up the hair tie and strategically aimed a little ways behind her before I flicked it off my thumb. 

When she bent over to fetch it I took in another long swig and the incredible view of her little bubble butt. She let her long, dark hair fall and sweep her bare feet to comb her fingers through it. Then she gathered it up in her hands before whipping her head upright to form her little nest again. She hopped over to her broken floor length mirror to tie it off. The mirror was cracked from corner to corner, cutting through her reflection. For some reason that didn’t surprise me. It seemed like anything fragile in her life was bound to be fuckin’ broken. She snapped her teeth while she fussed with a few locks of her hair that fell out of place. She just never quite had her shit together. From her hair to her fuckin’ senses. 

I leaned against her counter and kept watching the show she put on. It wasn’t just because I was fascinated by her but I was analyzing every little fuckin’ move she made. She felt my gaze burning into her and she must have known I was lookin’ for somethin’ because she tried to steal a glance of me through the mirror. The second her green eyes caught mine she timidly looked away and started fiddling with her hair again. She was trying to avoid me but we were alone and there was no escaping me now. I had her right where I fuckin’ wanted her.

“So, how was the bar last night?” I asked and her whole body froze for a moment.  
“It was fine.” She tried to shrug it off indifferently.  
“Did you see your boyfriend?” I asked setting my beer aside.  
“David is not my boyfriend.” She deflected.  
“You didn't answer my question.” I smirked.  
“Yes. I saw him.” She rolled her fuckin’ eyes again.  
“And then what?” I asked.  
“Nothing.” She looked down at her feet and started nibbling on her lip. Her expression said it all. _Guilt._

That was all the confirmation I fuckin’ needed so I slowly started movin’ in on her. I took long, unhurried strides and with every thud of my boot she got a little smaller. She wrapped her arms around herself and shied away from me. If she’d had anywhere to run in that fuckin’ moment she probably would have but I had her cornered. We’d already passed the point of that cat and mouse bullshit and there was no stoppin’ it now. So when I finally closed the space between us I reached out and gripped her by the chin. I forced her big ol’ eyes to look up into mine and when I ran a finger over her blushing cheek she started melting in my hands.

“That’s twice now that you’ve rolled those pretty eyes at me, and now, you’re gonna lie to my fuckin’ face?” I moved my hand down and around her neck where I could feel her pulse under my fingers. Her heart was fuckin’ racing.  
“I’m sorry…” She shivered.  
“Sorry for what? Rolling your eyes, or fucking your boyfriend?” I growled.  
“Negan I-“  
“You what?” I tightened my grip.  
“I fucked up…” She swallowed hard.  
“You _did_. You did fuck up. So what should I do with you?” I asked.  
“Whatever you want.” She whispered.

The truth is I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted. All I knew was that I wanted _her_. So, I fuckin’ took her. I shoved her back against the wall and she gasped when I pinned her hands above her head. When I caught a whiff of her skin my mouth started to water. I just had to have another fuckin’ taste of her. So I took her lips again and fuckin’ devoured her. The taste of her mouth made my blood hot. I felt a fuckin’ rush of adrenaline roll through me that made me bite down on her lip hard enough to make her whimper. I lifted my hand to her pout and hooked my thumb between her teeth. She sucked it and the feeling of her soft, wet tongue made me grit my teeth. I pressed my knee between her thighs and hiked her up my leg a bit where I could already feel the heat of her pussy. _Fuck_ I wanted to feel it. I _needed_ to fuckin’ feel it but I resisted.

“You want more?” I asked and she nodded. “Yeah? Say it.” I demanded.  
“I want more.” Her voice trembled.  
“You want more…” I waved my hand for her to fuckin’ finish.  
“Please.” She begged just like I fuckin’ wanted so rewarded her just a little.

I ran my hand down her arm, brushed over her freckled cheekbone, down her neck and lingered around her tits a while. She wasn’t wearing a bra so I flicked the tip of my finger over her nipples that peaked under her shirt. The more I teased her the heavier her breath got. She was panting by the time I reached the waistband of her leggings and I tugged the elastic away. Then I teased her a little more when I released the fabric and let it pop back against her skin. She squirmed for me to go on, thrusting her pussy against my knee, aching for more, but I fuckin’ refused her.

“Say it again.” I whispered against the skin of her neck.  
“Please…” She begged without hesitation just like a good fuckin’ girl.  
“So this is what it’s gonna take huh? Now I bet you’ll do anything your fuckin’ told, won’t you?” I chuckled.  
“Yes…” She whispered.  
“Well, darlin’, that suits me just fuckin’ fine.”

I spun her around and sandwiched her against the wall and slapped her ass so fuckin’ hard it stung me back. I shook the pain from my hand and bit down on my lip. Goddamn, I’d been waitin’ to do that for so fuckin’ long! The way it made her cry out made my dick twitch. After one more good, hard handful of her ass I reached around and snuck into her waistband again. I snaked slowly down her hips and inched under her panties until I finally dove my fingers into her pussy for the very first time. _Holy fuck!_ She was so fuckin’ _wet_ and _tight!_ The way she trembled around my fingers made me hiss between my teeth.

“God damn baby girl… You are fuckin’ _soaked_. Tell me, who are you wet for?” I grinned.  
“You…” She quivered.  
“Yeah? And who am I?” I asked flicking my fingers over her clit.  
“Negan!” She moaned.  
“That’s right. And who do you belong to?” I asked.  
“Negan…” _Fuuuuuck_ I loved the way she moaned my fuckin’ name.  
“Good fuckin’ girl. Now, come here.” I slapped her ass again.

My Little Bird didn’t just fuckin’ hop, she fuckin flew into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. She was beyond fuckin’ ready for me to take her but I wasn’t gonna make this shit easy. I wasn’t done punishing her yet. I wanted to see her fuckin’ break. I wanted to see the pure fuckin’ desperation on her fuckin’ face.

So I set her down on the counter and I kissed her again until she was moaning against my lips. I started peeling away her leggings but I left her underwear on and spread her legs wide open. I kissed and savored every inch of her skin and I ran my tongue along the inside of her thighs. She was rolling her hips forward for more but I just pressed my thumbs on the very fuckin’ edge of her. Right where her pussy met her thighs. I massaged her there a while and stroked everything but the crucial fuckin’ parts she was begging for me to fuckin’ touch. The little bit of flesh that peeked through her cotton panties was tempting me so I gently pulled the fabric up so that it bunched up inside her slit. I could see her clit lifting through her panties and I brushed my finger over it until her knees started to shake.

“Negan, just touch me! For fuck sake…” She complained.  
“No fuckin’ ma’am!” I slapped the inside of her thigh so hard she screamed out and it left an imprint of my hand. “That is _not_ how we get what we want! Is it?”  
“No…!” She whined.  
“No sir!” I slapped her thigh again and corrected her.  
“No sir!” She cried.

I finally pulled her panties away and I had to take a minute to admire her. She had the prettiest little pussy I’d ever laid my fuckin’ eyes on. It was plump and round and soft. So soft I couldn’t help but fuckin’ pet it. I slipped the tip of my middle and index finger just barely inside to tickle her clit a little bit. Then I slid up and down her wet lips and watched the way she writhed and squirmed for more. Finally, I parted my two fingers and split her open and what I found inside made my mouth water again. She was fuckin’ beautiful. Glistening and pink like ripe fruit just waiting for me to sink my fuckin’ teeth in. Now I don’t normally eat out but this was prime fuckin’ pussy. I was fuckin’ obligated to fuckin’ taste that shit. So I surrendered and knelt down between her legs. The truth is, I’d kneeled down to her a long fuckin’ time ago.

“You’re gonna make this up to me.” I told her before slapping her thigh again. “I want you to say it good, and say it loud, so every fuckin’ person in this Sanctuary knows. So that your boy, David knows. Who do you fuckin’ belong to?” I smacked her again.  
“Ah! Negan!” She groaned and when I started stroking my tongue inside her, her voice lifted. “Negan! Oh god! Negan!”

She was the sweetest fuckin’ thing. I mean, not literally. All pussy tastes like pussy. -But this was _her_ pussy and she dripped liquid fuckin’ gold. I couldn’t afford to waste a single drop so I lapped her up like the fuckin’ dog that I am. I’d never been so damn excited to either. She was so god damn good I rubbed my fuckin’ face in her. I sucked her clit until her body started to shake, then I twirled my tongue around it. I sunk my fingers back inside her and looked up to see the look of pure fuckin’ bliss on her beautiful fuckin’ face. She clutched the counter and threw her head back. She was about ready to fuckin’ burst. So I stopped and when I pulled my mouth away she gasped in shock.

“Did you think I was gonna let you cum?” I licked my lips and she started hyperventilating. “Do you think you deserve to fuckin’ cum?” I grinned.  
“Oh god please, Negan! Please just-“  
“Do you deserve it?” I asked more firmly.  
“No…” She groaned like a fuckin’ brat.  
“That’s right. You _do not_ fuckin’ deserve it.” I growled.  
“Please… I’ll do whatever you want…” She whispered shamefully.  
“Well, I’ll be fuckin’ damned. I don’t think I heard that shit right. Say it again for me darlin'.” I cupped my ear for her to speak the fuck up.  
“Please, Negan. Tell me what you want.” She pleaded.  
“What do I want? Aw, Little Bird…” I ticked my tongue and reached up to stroke her quivering lips. “All I want is for you to do what you’re fuckin’ told.”

I startled her when I stood suddenly and took ahold of her neck. I brought my face so close to hers I could feel her breath against my lips. I peered into the intense green of her eyes to get a good fuckin’ look at the pure desperation in them. She was finally under my fuckin’ thumb. She was fuckin’ mine. This was the moment I was fuckin’ waiting for and it was worth every fuckin’ minute. I pulled her into a kiss and clutched the hair at the nape of her neck before pulling away again to slap her cheek.

“Now tell me. Are you sorry?” I asked.  
“Uh-huh!” She fuckin’ nodded.  
“ _Uh-huh._ ” I mocked and slapped her reddened cheek again. “Get your shit together! Use your big girl words! Are you fuckin’ sorry?” I pulled her hair tighter.  
“Yes sir!” She corrected herself.  
“I told you no fucking boys! Are you gonna fuck David again?” I smacked her clit enough to make her squirm.  
“No! No sir!” She yelped.  
“You belong to me! Say it!” I dipped my fingers back into her and stroked deep inside her until her back arched.  
“I belong to you! I belong to Negan!” She shook.  
“That’s right. Now I want you to cum. Do it now.” I said.

I pressed and rubbed my thumb over her clit and her voice cracked before she let out the most beautiful fuckin moan. I chuckled proudly and licked my teeth while I watched the waves crash through her. I felt her pussy start to squeeze and twitch around my fingers and she spilled out into my hand. She was fuckin’ dripping off the tips of my fingers when I pulled out and lifted them up to her flushed face. 

“Clean up your fuckin’ mess.” I said.

I watched her closely as she wrapped her lips around them. She licked and sucked away every bit of herself before she pulled away. Her lashes fluttered when she looked up at me with soft eyes and she smiled coyly at me. She was fuckin’ swooning for me. I just rolled my eyes at her and praised her with a little pat on the cheek before I fuckin’ left her there.

Remember that weird fuckin’ feeling in my stomach? Yeah. That shit was back again fuckin’ tenfold but I forced it away. I ignored that shit and I went and fucked the hell outta one of my wives while the taste of Lucille was still fresh on my tongue.


	11. I Hate You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Life got crazy busy but hopefully, I'll make it up to you with this chapter. Grab a snack cause it's a long one... <3

Is it possible to be addicted to pussy? Cause I sure as shit was. I craved the taste of my sweet Lucille every fuckin’ time I thought about it and I thought about that shit damn near every second of the day. It made my fuckin’ mouth water. And my Little Bird, boy, she sang me the sweetest fuckin’ song. That beautiful fuckin’ sound of her voice screamin’ my name and just fuckin’ beggin’ me for more. Damn, I couldn’t get it outta my head.

Anyway, needless to say, I enjoyed that shit. So to reward her ‘good behavior’, I let my girl do a little training for the next couple of days. God knows she needed to work on her fuckin’ aim so I assigned Fat Joey for the job. And listen, I know I throw Fat Joey a lot of shit but the truth is, he’s a solid fuckin’ guy. He’s a fuckin’ idiot but he’s loyal and he’s honest. He’s also got some of the best sniping skills I’ve ever fuckin’ witnessed so I knew she was in good hands.

In the meantime, I stopped by the infirmary to visit Ol’ man Bran for a little fatherly advice. He didn’t care for me much but he was a wise old fart and I needed his input. With Little Bird wrapped around my finger, he must have been left with an empty nest. I wondered how he was handlin’ it. When I arrived he seemed a little bit pissy to see me so I assumed not very fuckin’ well.

“Negan.” He glanced up from a textbook.  
“Doc.” I snatched it up from his desk and flipped through the pages a bit. “‘An Introduction to Influenza’. You really spend all day readin’ this shit?” I laughed.  
“It’s my job after all.” He lifted his glasses.  
“I guess we all have our fuckin’ callings.” I said.

I slapped the book shut and dropped it louder than necessary on his desk. I don’t know why I bothered, Bran didn’t give a shit. He didn’t even bat a fuckin’ eye. I could never get a fuckin’ rise outta him. The dude was too smart for that shit. He was a stoic son of a bitch too. He was too hard to read sometimes but every now and again I could see that void in his eyes. Something that told me he wasn’t afraid of dying. It’s not like he was welcoming it either. He just… didn’t give a shit. That’s one of the reasons I respected him because if you don’t fear death then you don’t fear shit.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked blandly.  
“Oh, nothin’ too serious… Just stoppin’ by to shoot the shit with you a while.” I took a seat and propped my feet up on his desk.  
“That’s unusual.” He said, eyeing my boots but not bothering to mention it.  
“Let’s just say it’s a slow day and I’m bored.” I draped my bat over my lap and tapped it with my fingers. “You talk to your little successor lately?” I asked.  
“Lucille is no longer my successor, unfortunately.” He said with a hint of bitterness.  
“Yeah, sorry about that Bran, but that wasn’t really my choice. She asked me if she could be a Savior and who the fuck am I to tell my Little Bird no?” I grinned.  
“Your ‘Little Bird’…” He noted the pet name. “I won’t stop her from leaving the infirmary if that’s what she chooses. It’s not my decision to make. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You are the only person who could but I don’t imagine you will. You seem convinced that she’s of more use to you somehow. You’d prefer her standing in the line of fire rather than here mending the wounds of the many, many Saviors you’ve already acquired.”

I think that was the most I’d ever heard that fucker speak at one fuckin’ time. Bran was usually a very fuckin’ succinct guy but he sure had a lot to fuckin’ say on the matter of Lucille. I guess you could call it a rant but his tone was still pretty tame. Either way, I could tell he was pissed. He cared about Lucille. In fact, he cared more about her life than he did about his own fuckin’ life. She was like a daughter to him and he wanted to protect her from me. I couldn’t blame him. I’m every dad’s worst fuckin’ nightmare.

“Alright, so you’re concerned. I get that, being her father figure and all, but you and I both know she’s got a fuckin’ fire in her. It’d be a damn shame to waste it.” I said.  
“You see a far different potential in her than I do.” He said.  
“Yeah? How’s that?” I asked.  
“I want to make her better.” He said.  
“You think I don’t?” I asked.  
“Perhaps you do in your own way, but I certainly don’t trust your intentions.” He said.  
“You shouldn’t.” I smirked darkly.  
“Then you can understand why I won’t be extending my blessing.” He said.  
“I can.” I nodded.  
“Then why are you here?” He asked directly.  
“Because there’s only one fucker in this world she seems to fuckin’ listen to every now and again and that’s you. And I wanna know why.” I said.  
“I’m afraid you’re on your own.” He opened his book again to fuckin’ dismiss me but I slammed my fist on his desk. He jumped a little in surprise but he still wasn’t fuckin’ scared of me.  
“If you refuse to fuckin’ help me, you’re only making this shit that much fuckin’ harder on Lucille.” I growled.  
“I believe it’s quite the contrary.” He stood his fuckin’ ground.  
“You know, most people get the ever-livin' fuck beat out of them for talkin’ to me the way you are right now.” I menaced.  
“What’s stopping you?” He removed his glasses and polished the lenses like he could give a fuck.  
“Well, for one thing, you're like 90 fuckin’ years old. -But the truth is, Doc, I actually fuckin’ respect you. And whether you wanna believe it or not, I respect Lucille too. I care about her and I want her to be safe. Same as you.” I said.  
“You have an awfully funny way of showing it.” He said.  
“What can I say? I’m a funny fuckin’ guy.” I grinned.  
“Hilarious.” He stated sarcastically.

The room got quiet for a minute while I stared him down but Bran was refusing to give me a damn thing. He just looked down at his book again and tried to pretend I wasn’t fuckin’ sittin’ there. The thing is, I’m a hard-headed piece of shit too and I refused to leave until he fuckin’ budged. So I broke the silence and started drumming and whistling “Get Ready” by Rare Earth just because it was the longest fuckin’ song I could think of. I was tryin' to annoy the piss outta him. After a while, the ever so fuckin’ patient Dr. Bran just fuckin’ sighed.

“I’ve got all fuckin’ day, Bran!” I lifted my arms.  
“You’ll tire eventually.” He said.  
“God, I fuckin’ hate you.” I huffed. 

I could have threatened him again, fucked him up just a tad, maybe locked him up in a cell for a while until he fuckin’ snapped. It wouldn’t take long. I mean, he may not have feared death but he didn’t have a lot of fight left in him either. I could have fuckin’ broken him. -But I knew if I fucked with Dr Bran, Lucille would never fuckin’ forgive me. So I just kept fuckin’ drummin’ and whistlin’ until I eventually got tired.

***

Listen, I’m a fifty fuckin’-year-old man but after that bullshit, I felt like an asshole kid again. It was another fuckin’ blow to my pride and it humbled my old ass in a sense. -But Dr. Bran was older than me. He was fuckin’ ancient and it turns out you’re never old to learn somethin’ from your elders. He taught me a lesson in restraint and how sometimes the best method is to restrain your fuckin’ self. Maybe the best way to get to Little Bird was to let go and let her fly free a little bit.

For the rest of that week, I did a little birdwatching. I figured maybe if she thought I wasn’t around she’d open up and show me something. So while she trained with Fat Joey, I kept my distance and just observed her from afar. She looked kinda cute with a big ass rifle in her hands. She was also the happiest I’d ever fuckin’ seen her. Her and Fat Joey were a couple of fuckin’ goofballs together, like siblings or some shit. They had a stupid fuckin’ handshake and everything. I guess Fat Joey had a way of bringing out the child in her. Watching them even made me laugh from time to time. I sorta wished she would be that goofy around me.

A couple days later I realized that birdwatching shit was gettin’ pretty fuckin’ stalker status when I was watching her through the fuckin’ windows. -But I couldn’t fuckin’ help myself. I was fascinated by the girl. She was my favorite pass time no matter what the fuck she was doin’. That day I was watching her count inventory in those little bitty shorts that I liked so much. Her legs looked fuckin’ magnificent. I was startin’ to think they’d look even better wrapped around my fuckin’ waist when that asshole David strolled up to her. He still had that big ass grin on his face. My first fuckin’ instinct was to storm down there and pry that son of a bitch away from her but I didn’t. I restrained myself and continued to fuckin’ observe. Lucille started peeking over her shoulder almost like she could feel my eyes burnin’ holes in them. I wanted to see what she’d do if she thought I was none the fuckin’ wiser so I kinda stepped back to hide myself a bit.

“Hey boss!” Fat Joey startled the fuck outta me.  
“Whoa, shit! What the fuck are you doin' creepin’ up on people like that?” I shoved him denying my own guilty conscience.  
“You must not be living right!” He laughed.  
“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” I scowled him down.  
“I-It’s just something my mom used to say! It means you’re up to no good. N-Not that you’re up to no good or anything. It was just a joke-“  
“What the fuck do you want Fat Joey?” I rolled my eyes.  
“You told me to come find you and update you on Lucille’s progress.” He scratched his head.  
“Right…” I threw an arm over his shoulder and led him away from the windows. “How’s our girl doin’?” I asked twirlin’ my trusty bat at my side while we strolled.  
“Really good actually! We’ve been hunting rabbits out in the field and she’s actually a pretty good shot. She’d just kinda lost her touch I guess.” He shrugged.  
“Yeah? So what do you think? Does she make the cut?” I asked.  
“Absolutely! And she’s cool too.” He smiled.  
“ _’Cool’_ …” I raised my brows.  
“Yeah, she’s funny, super friendly, and really smart. She’s really good at trivia and stuff. -Did you know that rabbits’ teeth never stop growing?” He recalled one of her useless facts.  
“Yeah, it’s because they chew on twigs and shit- What the fuck? Why do I know that?” I surprised myself.  
“Maybe Lucille told you.” He laughed.  
“No. We don’t play trivia.” I laughed because _we_ played a very different game.  
“We startin’ a trivia night or something?” Simon cut in all the fuckin’ sudden and he startled the shit outta me too.   
“Jesus fuck! What are you people tryin’ to fuckin’ kill me?” I clutched my chest.   
“Maybe you’re _not_ living right.” Joey chuckled.  
“Apparently fuckin’ not.” I breathed.  
“Sorry to startle you, Boss. Just wanted to go over the itinerary.” Simon lifted the clipboard in his hand.  
“Alright, let’s do this shit.” I said before turning back to Fat Joey. “Listen, I want you to wrap up the last of her training today. Come by my office as soon as you’re done. Got it?” I slapped him on the back.  
“Sure thing Boss.” He nodded.  
“Good work this week, Savior.” I sent him away.

***

The very next day I let Little Bird graduate to a Savior. Partially because of all her hard work, but also because I needed to get fuckin’ laid. The wives weren’t really doin’ it for me anymore. I needed the good shit. I needed a fix of that sweet Lucille. And besides all that I just fuckin’ missed her. It had been a week.

That mornin’ when I joined my Saviors downstairs she was there, bright eyed and bushy fuckin’ tailed. And she looked fuckin’ _hot_. The rest of my Saviors weren’t so fuckin’ thrilled so I shook em’ up a bit to wake them up.

“Alright! Rub the sleep outta your eyes you lazy sons of bitches! It is go time!” I hollered.

While they picked up the pace my man Simon was always fuckin’ ready. He hopped up the steps to join me and I gave him a pat on the back as we looked over the group. While we discussed the assignments for the day I could feel Lucille’s eyes on me. She was gettin’ a fuckin’ look at the goods so I let her gaze linger a while. I started callin’ names and I saved her’s for last.

“-And finally… You!” I turned and pointed my bat at her and as I made my way over she fuckin’ blushed. It was fuckin’ adorable. “Your cute ass is gonna go to a trade with me today.” Her face lit up.  
“You’re not afraid I’ll shoot you?” She teased.  
“If you do, you’d better fuckin’ kill me.” I got up real fuckin’ close and personal. So close that I could almost fuckin’ smell her. “How are you this morning, sweetness?” I licked my lips.  
“Ready.” She bit hers.  
“You gonna do what you’re told?” I asked watching that fuckin’ mouth.  
“I’ll do anything you want me to.” She said.

_Hot damn_ that shit gave me an instant fuckin’ stiffy. Just being in her fuckin’ vicinity drove me fuckin’ wild. I started thinkin’ about that taste again. That pretty fuckin’ song she sang. I wanted that shit again and she could feel it too. -But all the sudden her sexy little smirk fell. Her green eyes darted behind me and she looked nervous. I turned to find David just a little ways behind me, fuckin’ winkin’ at her. That fucker always spoiled my good time.

“Shall we call your friend over?” I turned back to her and glared.  
“No, he’s oblivious. It’s best we leave it that way.” She shoved her hands anxiously in her pockets.  
“I was talking about your other friend.” I lied.  
“What-”  
“-Fat Joey!” I shouted and she about leaped out of her sexy skin.  
“Jesus…” She sighed.  
“Why so jittery?” I laughed.  
“I’m not jittery.” She scoffed.  
“Fat Joey, what the hell took you so damn long?” I asked when he waddled up.  
“Sir?” He huffed.  
“Where the hell have you been you idiot?” I asked.  
“I-I was just finishing up at the armory.” He said.  
“You couldn’t waddle any faster?” I busted his balls again.  
“Give him a break, Negan.” Little Bird cut in.  
“Hey, the big boys are talkin’.” I lifted a hand to stop her before turning back to Fat Joey. “You’re on outpost B for today-”  
“Such a jerk…” I heard her mumble. 

Now see, _that_ was the kinda shit that got her in trouble. After all the shit we’d already fuckin’ discussed, after I went against my better judgment and let her join my fuckin’ squad, she _still_ couldn’t shut her fuckin’ trap. -But the truth is, I kinda liked it. It gave me a reason to teach her a fuckin’ lesson.

“-What the fuck did you just say?” I lifted my bat.  
“Nothing.” She winced.  
“ _Correction!_ Fat Joey is on trade today, and _you_ go to outpost B.” I revised.  
“But!-“ She started.  
“-No! You! Outpost! B!” I pointed.

She twirled and stormed off in her little boots to the trucks that were waiting to haul the groups away. She pouted like as when she plopped that sweet ass on the tailgate and glared at me. I just grinned at her knowing I’d finally get her alone again.

“Alright everybody!” I lifted two fingers in the air and swirled them. I licked my lips and when she picked up on my dirty innuendo she sneered at me in disgust. I just fuckin’ laughed. “Let’s roll out!”

While the truck took off and jostled to a start I smirked and watched the way it made her tits bounce.

***

I let her suffer a couple hours of boredom before I made my way over to her. Outpost B was kind of like a treehouse that any kid would have fuckin’ dreamed of having. My boys had built a pretty solid fuckin’ structure out of it. It looked like a little cabin tucked up in the branches. When I pulled up I saw the dim lights from the windows and watched for any sorta movement inside. My little damsel in distress didn’t come lookin’ for me so I hopped out of my truck, pulled out my receiver and whistled for her.

“Liiiiittle Biiiiiiiird.” I called but she didn’t fuckin’ answer me. “Come on now, Little Bird. I know you’re up there, and I’m comin’ to getcha.” I smirked.

My dick was gettin’ harder by the second just thinkin’ about being alone in a room with her. I climbed the steps two at a time and took a minute to contain my fuckin’ excitement before stepping inside. And there my Little Bird was, scowling in the corner, pretending to be consumed in a book.

“Whatcha readin’?” I asked.  
“Nothing.” She rolled her eyes and tossed the book aside.  
“How’s your first day as a Savior treating you?” I asked.

I laughed knowing damn well she was miserable. I shrugged off my jacket and set my shit aside to join her but she was still refusing to fuckin’ speak to me. Surprising considering the big ass mouth she had on her earlier.

“‘You’re such a jerk.’ Did I hear that shit right?” I repeated, squatting down in front of her. I saw a little color come to her cheeks when I got this close.  
“Look, I’m sorry. Okay? It just slipped.” She averted her eyes.  
“It just slipped?” I asked, leaning down to meet them again.  
“I’m sorry.” She said.  
“Sorry darlin’, but sorry’s just not gonna fuckin’ cut it this time. You see, talkin’ shit to me is one thing, but talkin’ shit to me in front of my Saviors? Well, that’s a fuckin’ problem. -And on the very same fuckin’ day I allowed you join us? No. Fuckin’. Ma’am.” I tapped the tip of her nose and she jerked her neck away from me. “You want to be a Savior, then you will be punished like a Savior.” I threatened.  
“Oh! Is this not my punishment?” She forced a sarcastic smile and motioned around the room.  
“No, baby. Surely you didn’t think you’d get off that easy.” I chuckled.

I ambled over to a small table and plucked a red apple from a basket of fruit. I wasn’t really all that hungry but I needed the taste of somethin’ on my tongue while I made her squirm a little while longer. To tease her a bit more I reached down into her boot and slipped her knife from its sheath. I savored the feeling of her hot skin against my fingers and lingered there a while before pulling away again. She may have been pissed but that didn’t stop the goosebumps that followed.

“Oh, can I borrow this?” I grinned and propped my feet up while I started carving my apple.  
“You ask me questions like I ever have a choice in the matter.” She scoffed.  
“You’re right, you don’t.” I laughed and licked a slice off the blade. She was watchin’ me real fuckin’ close.  
“You know, I can think of a way to make it up to you.” Her tone changed all the sudden and she sat up on her knees. I watched her eyes deepen while she nibbled her plump lip.  
“Mm… Is that right?” I smirked.  
“Mhm…” She nodded.

I knew what the fuck she was doin’. She thought she was fuckin’ slick. Like she could seduce her way out of trouble. Don’t get me wrong, she most certainly fuckin’ could for a little while, but I wasn’t gonna let her use that shit against me to get her way in the end. This was _my_ fuckin’ game and that was _my_ fuckin’ tactic. -But that didn’t stop me from lettin’ the shit happen. _Fuck no._ I set my apple aside and clapped my hands clean to prepare myself for a fuckin’ show. I had a feelin’ she’d put on a real good one.

“Well?” I motioned for her to get to it.

Then I witnessed the prettiest fuckin’ sight I ever fuckin’ saw. My sweet Lucille fuckin’ crawled on her hands and knees to get to me. The way her green eyes looked in that moment made my fuckin’ heart race. She was a thirsty fuckin’ girl. She wrapped those beautiful fuckin’ lips around the tip of my finger and sucked it up into her mouth first. The feeling of her soft, wet tongue made my hiss between my teeth.

“My you are a _resourceful_ little thing aren’t you?” I laughed inwardly and tugged her bottom lip before she grinned.

I never could resist her fuckin’ smile so I gripped her by the jaw and pulled her into a kiss. The second my mouth touched hers it was like a rush went through me. I finally got that hit that I was fuckin’ achin’ for but I wanted more. I wrapped my arms around her and started clawing at whatever skin I could fuckin’ feel. I was tempted to just rip her clothes off and fuck her there but she was being punished so I resisted. When her breath got heavy and she purred against my lips I finally pulled away and stood above her.

“Go ahead and show me what else that mouth can do besides talk shit.” I said but when she reached for my belt I tilted away from her. “I said use your fuckin’ mouth.” I corrected.

Little Bird did real good gnawing away the leather of my belt. She used her teeth to yank it open but the anticipation was fuckin’ killin’ me so I helped her out a bit. When my cock sprung out in her face her eyes widened and I smirked down at her. I don’t know why she looked so fuckin’ surprised. Of course I had a big dick. Why the fuck else would I have such massive fuckin’ balls?

She started off real slow at first, running her tongue up and down the length of my dick. That shit was already makin’ my fuckin’ toes curl but when she wrapped her pink lips around my head I got fuckin’ light headed. She was havin’ trouble takin’ it all so she reached up a hand for assistance but I slapped that shit away.

“Put your hands behind your fuckin’ back.” I pointed.

She did what I told her before she dove in again. That time I took hold of her hair and shoved myself deeper down her fuckin’ throat. She glared up at me knowing I wanted to fuckin’ gag her so she refused. So I thrusted even fuckin’ deeper until she fuckin’ did. When she coughed she pulled away gasping and a thick string of spit dripped down her chin. Damn, I loved that sloppy shit.

“Ooh, I like that! Do that again!” I laughed and shoved my dick back between her lips. “Haha yeah look at _you_. You can swallow the whole fuckin thing can’t you? Fuuuuck that’s a good fuckin’ girl…” I praised her and slapped her cheek.

The more I talked shit to her the hotter she fuckin’ got. Pretty soon she was bobbin’ her head up and down my cock so good my knees were gettin’ weak. When she swallowed me again she stretched out her tongue and let it tickle my balls a bit. That shit was fuckin’ impressive and it felt _so fuckin’ hot._ Little Bird gave some _mean_ fuckin’ head. I had to have more so I took a hold of her chin again and plunged even fuckin’ deeper. When she started coughing again she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pull away but I yanked her back in again.

“Keep lookin’ up at me pretty girl. I wanna see those pretty fuckin’ eyes…” She did and her eyes watered before the tears started streaming down her cheeks. “Good giiiirl….” I praised her.

I brought both hands down on the back of her neck and just started face fuckin’ her. She was takin’ it like a fuckin’ champ too. The harsh wet sound of it set me on fuckin’ fire. I could feel it building up inside me and I knew it was comin’. I was fuckin’ beyond ready for that shit too. She must have felt my dick throbbing because she picked up the pace and opened her throat up to take me all the way down. I felt my legs starting to shake and my breathe caught when I finally felt a tight tug in my balls before my cum came bursting out. When it hit the back of her throat she gagged again but she made herself to swallow the shit down. She swept me off my fuckin’ feet!

“Hooolyyy shit!” I plopped back down in my chair and sighed with fuckin’ relief. She beamed up at me and wiped her chin before settling her head into my lap to gaze up at me.  
“That mouth _is_ good for something! Dirty girl, I am impressed! You are better than _any_ of my wives!” I brushed my thumb over her pout.  
“So… Did I make up for it?” She started kissin’ my fingertips and cute as it was I _still_ wasn’t givin’ into her charm.  
“Not quite.” I smirked mischievously and stood to buckle up again.  
“What?” She growled.  
“If I made it as easy as blowin' your way out of trouble, I would never get anything done and you’d get fuckin' lockjaw. So, I’m putting you on suspension for two weeks from any off-site jobs until you can learn to keep your god damn mouth shut.” I said.  
“You scheming son of a bitch! You knew the whole time!” She was fuckin’ _pissed!_

She grabbed her knife and stabbed that shit into the table in a fit of fuckin’ rage. Then she stormed out of our little tree house and bolted down the stairs. I don’t know where the fuck she thought she was goin’, but I knew she wouldn’t get far. I still had the keys to my truck. So I took my time, gathered up my shit, straightened myself up a bit and then followed her. When I pulled onto the main road I spotted her still stomping away in the moonlight as fast as her little legs could carry her. It didn’t take long for me to catch up to her.

“Where are you goin’?” I asked casually, drivin' with my knees while I polished off the apple I’d started.  
“I’m going back to the Sanctuary!” She hissed.  
“What? You’re gonna walk all the way there? Don’t be stupid. Get in the truck.” I laughed.  
“No.” She refused.  
“You’re gonna die out here. Get in the truck.” I sighed.  
“Fuck you!” She shouted and that’s when I lost my fuckin’ patience.  
“Get in the god damn truck!” I shouted back.

I guess our little fit alerted a stray walker in the trees. It came stumbling out toward the noise and when it spotted Lucille it started draggin’ and limpin’ its way toward her. Now she’d have to get in the fuckin’ truck because she was unarmed and I sure as shit wasn’t gonna help that little asshole.

“Give me my knife.” She demanded.  
“Nope.” I smirked, cutting myself another slice of apple.  
“Give it to me!” She sounded like a brat.

I expected that so I just ignored her little temper tantrum. What I didn’t fuckin’ expect was for her bold ass to have fuckin’ balls enough to leap into my fuckin’ window and snatch up my fuckin’ bat. _Oh fuck no!_ I leaped outta my truck and went after her but she sprinted off toward the walker. She swung my bat so hard the creep collapsed onto the fuckin’ road and she started takin’ out every bit of her fuckin’ rage on it. I damn near felt sorry for the poor creature. When I reached to restrain her she swung back again and nearly hit me. I ducked out of the way and wrapped my arms around her waist. She was kickin’ and screamin’ when I lifted her tiny ass off her feet and carried her back to the truck.

“Have you lost your fucking mind!?” I threw her down on the bench seat but she was fightin’ the fuck outta me. “Nobody touches my god damn bat! Now you’re in _deep_ fuckin’ shit!” I shouted.  
“Fuck you!” She got a hand free and slapped me across the fuckin’ face.

I don’t think I’d ever been so fuckin’ mad at her before. I lifted my walker caked bat up to her face to set her the fuckin' straight and when I did she flinched away from it. She spotted her knife on the floorboard and reached down for it. She actually fuckin’ brought that fuckin’ blade up to my throat.

“Oh, you’re gonna kill me huh? Go ahead. Do it. I fuckin’ dare you.” I growled and her hand started to shake. “Do it!” I shouted and it made her jump enough to knick me a bit. I was too mad to fuckin’ feel it but the second she drew blood she fuckin’ dropped the knife.  
“God, I hate you!” She groaned.

I’m not gonna fuckin’ bullshit you. I’ve heard a lot of ‘I hate you’s’ in the span of my life but _hers_ fuckin’ stung. When a single fuckin’ tear escaped her thick lashes I realized this game I was playin’ had gone too fuckin’ far. I’d pushed her too fuckin’ much. I might have fucked everything up. I immediately pulled away from her and she scrambled for the corner of the truck. She refused to even fuckin’ look at me but I could feel the betrayal and anger radiating from her. I sincerely felt fuckin’ bad.

“Take me home. Now.” She growled.

I didn’t question it for even fuckin’ a second. I just started up the truck and headed back to the Sanctuary. The drive was fuckin’ tense and dead fuckin’ silent. My mind was busy tryin’ to find the right words to say. I was tryin' to find a way to sincerely apologize but I don’t really do that shit. It’s just something that doesn’t come natural to me. It’s not like I didn’t mean it I just didn’t think she’d trust a damn word I had to say. As we pulled into the gates it was too fuckin’ late and I hadn’t even fully stopped before she hopped out of the cab. She rushed to the doors and I started to follow her, but I knew she didn’t want to be anywhere fuckin’ near me so I stopped.

“Lucille...” I called her by her real name and she froze. All I heard were crickets. “I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” I tried.  
“Don’t bother, Negan. The only reason you can’t hurt me is because I already know what to expect.” She said.

And that shit stung worse than the ‘I hate you’.


	12. Talk That Talk

Okay so I fucked up. I crossed the fuckin’ line and Lucille made that shit _perfectly_ fuckin’ clear. I knew she was gonna be pissed at me but I didn’t think she’d put a fuckin’ knife to my throat. That shit kinda hurt my feelings. I shouldn’t have been surprised, hell, I’d seen what she was capable of. I’d seen the fuckin’ rage in her. She may not have been a hair over five feet but she had enough venom in her to kill a man. Enough to kill _me_ but she didn’t. That had to count for fuckin’ somethin’ right? 

Anyway, we weren’t a fuckin’ ‘item’ or whatever the hell you wanna call it, but it felt like we’d split-up. I was used to seein’ her every day and now it was like she just fuckin’ vanished. I know I said she was suspended for a couple weeks but I didn’t say she was banned from the fuckin’ grounds. She didn’t even come around for her morning run anymore. That shit worried me. Running was like her coping mechanism because her head never stopped fuckin’ racing. It made me wonder how the hell was she keeping up with herself.

I thought about stopping by her room a couple times. Not to fuck with her or reprimand her or anything, I just… kinda wanted to see her. I wanted to know how she was coping ‘cause I sure as shit wasn’t. I was moody as fuck and I hadn’t realized just how much of my fuckin’ work load she’d been carrying. I should have fuckin’ thanked her.

Turns out, Simon had grown a little spoiled himself since she came around and now we were fuckin’ swamped. While we made our way down the stairs to the main hall he was bitchin’ and flippin’ through the numbers. I just kinda rolled my eyes and snatched them from him. I pretended to look over them but I didn’t really give a shit.

“We’re behind on the point system and inventory is already a day late. Where the hell is your Little Bird? Isn’t this her job?” He asked.  
“She’s takin’ a leave of absence.” I said.  
“A leave of absence?” He sneered.  
“I don’t know. She’s sick or somethin’.” I lied.  
“Since when do we allow sick days?” He asked.  
“Lighten the fuck up Simon.” I shoved the numbers into his chest. “Didn’t you take a whole fuckin’ week off after the food poisoning incident?” I recalled.  
“Oh jesus, don’t remind me. I shit out my will to live that week.” He got pale just thinkin’ about it.  
“After every fuckin’ thing we’ve been through, it’d be a damn shame to lose it all over a can of pork and beans.” I managed a chuckle.  
“I’ll never touch that crap-“

All the sudden we were interrupted by the loud crash of dishes ringing out from the cafeteria followed by a squeaky, _’God dammit!’_. It seemed like the whole fuckin’ room turned at once to the source of the disrupt. And there she was. My Little Bird. She had finally left her nest but she looked so fuckin’ small and helpless. She was damn near cryin’ over a bowl of spilled stew. It wasn’t like her to be so fragile. I wanted to help her ‘cause I knew it was really my fuckin’ fault. I’d driven her to her wit's end but what the fuck could I do? All I managed to do thus far was make shit worse.

Maybe it was good timing when a group of my Saviors wandered up. I turned to them but I didn’t even know or care what the fuck they were talkin’ about. From my peripherals all I could see was her and she was making her way toward me. For some reason it made my heart tick and I thought she’d stop. Shit, I hoped she’d stop even if it was just to tell me ‘fuck you’ but she didn’t. She just brushed right past me. I wasn’t even lucky enough to catch a fuckin’ whiff of her air that swept by.

***

After that, I started goin’ outta my way to walk by her room no matter where the hell I was headed. I guess I was hoping she’d step out and I’d have a chance to talk to her and then maybe we could work some shit out. Of course she never fuckin’ did. All I ever heard from her was her music. She’d gotten her hands on a turntable and a few records and she played the hell out of them. It was The Cure the first day, Depeche Mode the next, Janis Joplin the next. It must have been all she had ‘cause she played that shit on a loop. Listening to her music made me miss her more because that was one of the things that brought us closer. In fact, that was how I’d finally gotten a glimpse of the real her that everyone else got to see.

It was about a month or so ago. I had gone out for a scavenge and it ended up bein a good god damn day. We found an abandoned camp that had been overrun with biters. Whoever the hell was there before us must have bailed the fuck out in a hurry because we found all sorts of good shit that they’d left behind. Weapons, food, clothes… I’d even found some records. Whoever their owner once was had decent taste because there were a couple that I took for my own collection. -But the real gem of it all was a stash of pot. I hadn’t smoked the shit in years but I figured, hell, the world was basically fuckin’ dead, why not roll one? So Lucille and I spent the rest of that afternoon gettin’ high as shit and listening to music. 

That whole fuckin’ day was phenomenal but the part I remember most, the best part, was when she started dancing. I remember it was David Bowie and the way it lit up her face, the way she fuckin’ smiled, shit… I just knew I was fucked. That was the moment that fucked me. Actually, it didn’t really hit me until I asked her why she wouldn’t marry me and she said, ‘Because I’m way too good for you’. That was the precise moment I realized I was fucked because she was absolutely fuckin’ right.

***

By the second week of Lucille’s suspension, I thought I might have been havin’ a harder time than she was. I was even thinkin’ about breaking my code and lettin’ her off the hook a little early. -But my word is my fuckin’ word and I don’t fuckin’ break for anyone. So in a poor attempt to clear my fuckin’ head I visited my wives again. It had been a while since I’d seen them and I thought maybe gettin’ a nut out would help somehow. 

When I turned the corner of the wives wing I smelled them first. Usually, all it took was the scent of them to bring me from six to fuckin’ midnight but now they were too strong. It was too many different fuckin’ perfumes that felt thick in the air and gave me a fuckin’ migraine. The second I stepped into their quarters they fuckin’ swarmed me like flies on shit. I felt like shit anyway.

It took me the whole damn day but I fucked each and every fuckin’ one of them. My balls were desert fuckin’ dry by the time I was done and in the end I still didn’t feel that fuckin’ rush I got when I was with Lucille. I just felt fuckin’ numb. When my bedtime rolled back around I kinda slinked out like I was ashamed of myself or some shit. I don’t know why, they were _my_ fuckin’ wives but it just felt fuckin’ wrong somehow.

-And yeah, I walked by Lucille’s room on my way. She was listening to ‘Cry Baby’ by Janis Joplin.

***

On the very last night of Lucille’s suspension, I finally broke a little. I just couldn’t fuckin’ make it the last few fuckin’ hours until daylight. So I decided to deliver her a little peace offering. A romantic gesture, if you will. I’m not really all that great at verbally expressing my feelings and shit so I let Bowie do the talkin’. I wrapped the record we’d listened to together and wrote a little message across it. I didn’t really know what the fuck I wanted to say so scribbled the first thing that came to mind.

_‘Something for you to dance to.’_  
“That’s fuckin’ stupid.” I mumbled. 

I started to scratch it out and start over new but the truth was I would never find the right fuckin’ words. So I just snatched it up and forced my lanky ass down the hall toward Lucille’s room. When I got to her door it was quiet. I wondered if she was even there. I thought about knocking but I’m apparently a giant fuckin’ pussy when it comes to this kinda shit so I didn’t. Instead, I just shoved the record under her door and bailed the fuck out like a coward.

When I got back to my room it felt like I was havin’ a fuckin’ episode or some shit. I fell into my usual routine to try to settle my fuckin’ nerves. I was gettin' ready for bed but somewhere along the way I just started pacing aimlessly. I should have just fuckin’ ended it. I should have let her go and let us part ways and never fuckin’ looked back. Everything could have fallen back in order the way it fuckin’ should have been.

Then just as I turned another fuckin’ circle I heard something being slipped under my door and I fuckin’ froze. It was obviously fuckin’ her. She’d brought me her Janis Joplin album with a post-it slapped on top. 

_‘Side 1 Track 1’_ She’d scribbled in red.

I knew what the fuck it was before I even started playin’ it because I had the same fuckin’ album. It was 'Piece Of My Heart' and goddammit if that shit didn’t shake me down to my fuckin’ ball sack. I don’t know what the fuck happened. When the music started a panic flooded over me. What the fuck was I doing? Jesus, I knew what the fuck I was gettin’ myself into. It was a guaranteed shit storm of some fuckin’ degree but I just couldn’t stay away from her. I wanted her. So before I could talk myself out of it I rushed to the door. 

She was waiting for me. This beautiful fuckin’ specimen of a fuckin’ woman too fuckin’ good for the likes of me was standing there just waiting for me to reach out and grab her. Her big green eyes were wide like a deer in fuckin’ headlights. Her freckled cheeks flushed at the sight of me. Her hands were wringing inside the front of her shirt like she was just as panicked as I was. Maybe we both knew it was a fuckin’ mistake. Maybe we should have fuckin’ turned away and ran but the sound of Janis Joplin’s raspy voice egged me on to fuckin’ take her. So I fuckin’ did. 

I yanked her into me and took her beautiful fuckin’ lips and the second she wrapped her arms around me I felt that fuckin’ rush again. My heart felt like it was gonna fuckin’ burst, I could barely fuckin’ breathe but the taste of her was too damn good to pull away. While our tongues tangled and fumbled between us we stumbled back into my room and just as I started to reach down the front of her shorts we ran into my turntable. The sound of the needle scraping against the record brought it all to a sudden halt.

“Shit!” She shoved away from me and rushed over to it.  
“Really?” I winced and reached down to adjust the painful fuckin’ boner in my pants.  
“That was all a bit over the top anyway, don’t you think?” She said, checking the record for damage. “Well, side one is ruined…”

She sorta whined and snapped her teeth while she ran her finger over the scratch. Her dark brows furrowed and she nibbled her pout like a fuckin’ crybaby. Meanwhile, I was about ready to bust a fuckin’ nut in my pants. So I snatched the vinyl from her and tossed it aside. She gaped in shock and fuckin’ despair while she watched it shatter against the wall.

“Relax, you can have mine.” I said.  
“And I can keep Bowie?” She raised her brow.  
“Yeah, now get the fuck over here.” I pulled her back into my arms but just before I could sink my teeth into her she squirmed away again.  
“Wait, we have to talk about this.” She insisted.  
“Oh my fuckin’ god…What?” I groaned.  
“This! Us! What the hell is this?” She demanded.  
“Uh… We’re fucking.” I said. _Obviously._  
“Uh, actually no, we’re not. We’ve never actually had sex. I just blew you before you fucked me in the non-literal sense.” She crossed her arms.  
“Hey! I ate your pussy first.” I said. _What? It was fuckin’ true._  
“Ok, this isn’t a contest! Jesus, what am I doing here?” She gripped her head.  
“What do you want? You want a fuckin’ date or something? Sure I’ll fuckin’ drive you to town for a fuckin’ five-star steak!” I snapped.  
“Don’t be a jerk.” She rolled her eyes for the hundredth fuckin’ time since I’d met her but now wasn't the time to scold her.  
“Ok… What do you want? Tell me what you want.” I clutched her petite shoulders and wondered how the fuck this woman that felt so fuckin’ frail and tiny in my hands had this fuckin’ death grip on me.  
“I want you to talk to me like a real person for a minute.” She said.  
“What the fuck does that even mean?” I growled.

For fuck sake, we hadn’t even consummated the fuckin’ deal and we were already havin’ fuckin’ problems. God dammit! It was like every fuckin’ force of the fuckin’ universe was tryin’ to cock block me. I gripped my face and tried to slow the fuck down. What the hell did she fuckin’ want from me? Couldn’t we sort this shit out after we bumped uglies? All the sudden she turned and snatched a random record from my shelf and shoved it into my chest. She looked up at me with those intense eyes like she was on a fuckin’ mission. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the kinda mission that got my dick wet.

“Just shut up and put this on. Do you have whiskey?” She asked.  
“God, I want to bite that fuckin tongue when you talk to me like that.” I tried just one more fuckin’ time.  
“Do you have whiskey?” She repeated.  
“It’s at the fuckin’ bar, obviously.” I pointed.  
“Oh, of course, because we’re all allotted such luxuries.” She lipped.

I drug my already tired ass over to my fuckin’ turntable and slipped BB King from his sleeve. While I carefully set the needle in place I couldn’t help but scoff. The blues was a painfully accurate fuckin’ choice for the moment. While the king’s weeping guitar started up I plopped down on the couch and just fuckin’ accepted my loss. A moment later, Lucille took a seat across from me with a bottle of Jameson and two glasses in tow.

“Now what?” I sighed.  
“We’re gonna play a game.” She poured us each a glass and I just grunted at her. “We’re going to take turns asking questions, and if you choose not to answer, you take a shot.” She instructed.

I took a minute to mull it over. I didn’t have to think much, hell, the girl was half my fuckin’ size. I would obviously win. So I lifted my glass to hers for a little toast and we downed our first shot together. I gotta admit I welcomed the burn of whiskey at that moment. It calmed my nerves a tad. Meanwhile, my Little Bird winced and coughed at the bitter sting of dark liquor and I laughed.

“I bet you’re a lightweight.” I teased.  
“It doesn’t take much.” She admitted.  
“Then why are you doing this?” I asked.  
“-Because I want answers and I know you won’t willingly tell me anything. I figure if you get drunk, you’re bound to let something slip.” She said.  
“This is a dangerous game you’re playing.” I grinned.  
“I clearly have a weakness for them. -So, about our fight… Are you sorry?” She dove right in.

I know she asked me that shit because she thought I had too much pride to answer. In a way she was right but the truth is I didn’t really know. _Was_ I sorry? I mean, yeah I felt bad, but she didn’t need to fuckin’ know that. She didn’t need to know how fuckin’ deep I’d fallen for her. And besides that, I still ended up gettin’ some of the best head I’d ever fuckin’ experienced. It was fuckin’ worth it so was I really all that fuckin’ sorry? I didn’t know so I just fuckin’ drank and then I asked her the one thing I knew she didn’t want to answer.

“Once upon a time you told me your daddy did you wrong. So, tell me, what did he do?” I asked.  
“Not drunk enough for that yet.” She took her drink, wincing again. _Lightweight._ “How old are you?” She asked.  
“Fifty.” I smirked like the dirty old man that I was. “Have you always liked older men?” I asked.  
“Not particularly. Have you always liked younger women?” She asked.  
“Not specifically. Do you like that I’m old enough to be your daddy?” I grinned wider still.  
“I’m not dignifying that with a response.” She fell behind a shot but she was armed with a loaded question. “When was the last time you slept with your wives?”

I obviously fuckin’ drank but it wasn’t as simple as ‘yeah, I fucked _all_ of them today’. It was also that I didn’t know how to tell her they meant absolutely fuckin’ nothing to me anymore. That not even all five of them stacked together measured up to her and the way she made me fuckin’ feel. Then I remembered I wasn’t the only one guilty of fuckin’ infidelities anyway. So I turned on her.

“Did you enjoy fucking David?” I countered.  
“It was fine, but it wasn’t… rough enough.” She answered surprisingly.  
“What a pussy.” I laughed.  
“Are you rough with your wives?” She asked.  
“Sure, but none of them get me going quite like you do.” I winked and she tried not to blush so I made her. “You ever think of me when you rub one out?” I asked.  
“God really?…” She drowned her embarrassment in another shot.  
“Oh! You fuckin’ perv! I should feel violated right now! Or were you the one being violated? Tell me about it.” I licked my lips.  
“No! First of all, it’s not your turn. -And second of all, this isn’t that kind of drinking game. You’re trying to distract me from the point.” She stood her ground.  
“Fine. Get to the fucking point.” I said.  
“Are you ever going to let me join the other Saviors for a real job?” She asked.  
“That’s up to you darlin’. Don’t think I’m not trying. I issued you a fuckin’ rifle and invited you to go on a run with me, then you fucked up and ended up at an outpost with my dick down your throat.” I smiled at the fond memory.  
“You’re such an asshole.” She said.  
“A bigger asshole than your daddy?” I asked.  
“Why do you keep asking about my father?” She sighed.  
“Because you can tell a lot about a woman by how she talks about her father. Are you gonna tell me about him?” I asked and after a long pause she actually fuckin’ answered. I could tell by the way she slurred her words that the booze was kickin’ in.  
“My father had good taste in music, but he was a selfish, hateful, neglectful alcoholic who beat my mother. -And it looks like I might be falling down a similar fucked up rabbit hole, so… I guess there’s something to your theory.” She waved her hand tiredly.  
“Hey now, I may be a monster, but I’m not that kind of monster.” I defended.  
“Can you blame me for thinking you might be?” She asked.  
“No, I suppose I can’t blame you for that. -But if you’re so sure that I might be, why do you push so many of my fuckin’ buttons?” I asked.  
“I dunno… Because I’m not afraid to talk back anymore… Because I’m not scared… Because I’m not weak like my mother was… And read into it what you will but the more I talk shit, the rougher you are with me and I like that.” She smirked a little.

Surprisingly enough I didn’t pop an immediate stiffy at her words. I didn't tease her either. I was too distracted by the words that came before that. While the pieces all came together it became a little more clear to me why my Little Bird was so damaged. I wondered how bad it must have been. What she’d seen. Did it get worse? I had a distinct feeling it did. Something about the sadness that hung in her eyes at that moment. Then all the sudden she perked up from her drunken haze when she realized she was losing at her own fuckin’ game.

“What were your parents like?” She asked.

All I could do was fuckin’ laugh. I couldn’t help but fuckin’ laugh because I had no fuckin’ clue. So I drank because if I told her I’d never met them I’d have to tell her everything. About the group homes, the godforsaken church homes, the fuckin’ drug dens. It might have helped her understand why I was such a fuckin’ cold-hearted bastard and why I was almost incapable of being a decent fuckin’ guy but I just couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell anyone. So yeah, I drank.

“There you go Little Bird. The scores even. -But I think it’s time you admit you’re losing this game. So why don’t you just cut to the fuckin’ chase and tell me what you were hoping to gain from all this?” I asked and she frowned but accepted defeat.  
“I guess I was hoping to catch a glimpse of your nice side.” She said.  
“Baby, I’m not a nice man.” I said.  
“God, I know you’re not.” She started wavin' her hands and pourin' out her drunken thoughts. “-But you’re also like… You’re not just this like …two dimensional character either. You know? You’re not a cartoon villain, you’re a person and you feel real things. I mean, don’t you?” She asked.  
“Yeah brainiac, I do.” I laughed.  
“So then why is it so hard for you to open up to me? This whole time, I’ve been opening up to you, but you just refuse to give me anything.” She said.

Even though the game was over I took another fuckin’ drink. I just couldn’t fuckin’ tell her. If I told her she would find out I wasn’t as invincible as I lead everyone to believe. She’d find out that I might have been just as broken as she was, if not worse. I’d worked too fuckin’ hard to build the fuckin’ walls that held me together to let someone in and potentially fuck it all up. Either that or maybe what she found inside would send her runnin’ for the fuckin’ hills.

“Lucille, if I get too close to you, someone’s gonna get hurt.” I said simply.  
“It couldn’t be any worse than the world ending.” She was brave but she was also drunk. “Dance with me.” She was _obviously_ fuckin’ drunk.  
“Are you kidding?” I scoffed.  
“Come on. Be nice. Just this once.” She took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

Hell, I was a little drunk myself so I did. I twirled my tiny dancer until she got too dizzy and stumbled into me. I held her steady and swung her like a rag doll in my arms while she laughed. That beautiful fuckin’ sound of her voice took hold of me again and I spun her more carefully before bringing her back. Coincidentally, BB King was tellin’ the story of ‘Lucille’ so I started strumming my own like a guitar. I tickled my fingers up and down her ribs until I heard that cute giggle again.

“Just kiss me.” She whispered.

If she’d have been sober I would’ve skipped the kiss and just fucked her feet out from under her. Instead, I kissed her sweetly. Soft and slow to the beat of the music. I actually fuckin’ liked it, savoring her that way. -But when my heart rate sped up and the whiskey rushed through my veins I got reckless again. My fingers got tangled up in her hair and my tongue started prodding for a deeper, richer taste of her. All the sudden she hooked her fingers into the loops of my pants and pulled me in so that my dick pressed against her.

“Fuck me.” She cooed.  
“Fuck sake girl! I can’t do that right now.” I forced myself away.  
“What? Why? Are you too drunk?” She frowned.  
“What the fuck? No! _You_ are.” _Didn’t she feel my fuckin’ woody just then?_  
“No! I’m fine!” She tried to lie like I hadn’t just watched her take multiple shots.  
“Actually, you’re shit faced.” I said.

She got up on her tiptoes but only managed to reach my chin. She pressed sweet little kisses along my jaw before I leaned down to give her a simple peck. It was clear she wanted more when she started clawing for my shirt but I had to pull away from her. When she started kissing my neck I thought I might lose my shit.

“Stop it. Hey. Hey!” I picked her up off her feet to pry her off me. “That’s enough, it’s time for bed. Jesus, you’re blue ballin' the shit outta me tonight.” I tossed her a safe distance away onto my bed.  
“I’m not sleepy.” She slurred into my pillow.  
“Go to bed.” I said sternly.  
“Where are you going? Come sleep here with me.” She whined when I yanked the comforter away and started making myself a bed on my couch.  
“Go to bed.” I repeated even though I damn well wanted that fine ass body pressed against mine.

After a minute she sighed in defeat and I heard her rustling the sheets to get comfortable. I turned my back to her so I wouldn’t be tempted to watch her sleep like a fuckin’ creeper. Even though the room was silent, I could feel her presence. I mean, aside from the fact that I was sleeping on my fuckin’ couch, I felt restless. I’d never actually let anyone else sleep in my bed before. Not even my wives. -But I could get used to it.

“Negan…” She called softly.  
“What?” I grumbled.  
“About that night when we fought... I'm sorry I told you I hated you. -And I know you would never hurt me.” She said.  
“I will if you don’t go the fuck to sleep.” I said.  
“G’night.” She yawned.

It took me a while but I did eventually drift off. And even though I slept like shit, I still slept more soundly than I had in fuckin’ years.


	13. Breakin' Her In

The next day I woke up at the ass crack of dawn but it sure as fuck wasn’t because I was well rested. In fact, the only reason I woke up was that I damn near rolled off my fuckin’ couch. I almost forgot why the hell I was sleeping there until I rubbed the sleep outta my eyes and found her. Then I just sorta laid there and admired her a while.

Lucille looked so god damn beautiful bathing in the dull morning light. She was tangled up in my sheets with one arm folded under her cheek and the other stretched out over her head. She must have wiggled out of her shorts during the night ‘cause one of her bare legs was exposed and draped over one of my pillows. I imagined what it would be like to cozy up next to her, grab hold of her plump ass and wedge my dick right up between her and that pillow. _Fuck_ like my morning wood wasn’t hard enough already.

After a while, my dirty thoughts passed and I recalled our drinking game. We’d spent the whole night trying to outsmart each other and maneuver our way into each other’s heads. And even though we’d gathered bits and pieces, nothing was clear in our drunken haze. The only thing we both knew for sure was that between the two of us, we were a fuckin’ disaster waiting to happen.

 _‘It couldn’t be any worse than the world ending.’_ She’d said.

That bold ass statement stuck with me but whether she was right or wrong I still don’t fuckin’ know. Lucille had every reason to run from a man like me. From the very beginning, all I had ever done was bring out the fuckin’ worst in her. -But I craved that shit. I wanted to witness all of her fuckin’ demons. Soak in her fuckin’ bloodlust. I wanted her to show me all of the deepest, darkest, filthiest parts of her. 

You might wonder why I wanted her to suffer through it. Why I would subject her to that. It seems cruel and it _is_ fuckin’ cruel but it was necessary because I wanted to break her. I _had_ to break her so I could fix her. 

***

I’d managed to get ready for the day before Lucille finally woke up from her whiskey induced coma. When she bolted up from the sheets in a panic I couldn’t help but laugh at her. Her hair was a fuckin’ mess while she frantically patted herself down to make sure she was still fully intact and mostly clothed. As far as she knew I didn’t have any sort of moral compass. She must have assumed I just let my dick be my guide. She wasn’t fuckin’ wrong but I had enough decency to know that a drunken ‘fuck me’ wasn’t considered fair enough consent. So when she cupped her hands over her face and folded in shame I assured her I hadn’t handled the goods.

“Relax, I still haven’t seen your tits yet.” I said and she glanced up for a second in surprise before she gripped her head.  
“I need a shower.” She grumbled into her lap.  
“Use mine. There’s aspirin in the cabinet.” I offered and she dizzily stumbled out of bed.

I’m not really one to share my personal belongings or space so it was weird hearing someone else rustling through my shit. It was even more strange to think she was only a few feet away from me, buck-ass-naked and soakin’ fuckin’ wet and yet I _still_ wasn’t inside her. In the past, I might have considered joining her and picking up right where we’d left off the night before but I gotta admit I was kinda humbled by her just _being_ there. It felt good to have my Little Bird back.

I wanted to make the most of it, so I relayed a message that I was taking the morning off. Then while she washed up I laid out some clean panties that I kept stocked for my wives along with one of my shirts. When she was done she came out wrapped up in my bathrobe that practically swallowed her tiny frame. Part of me hoped she’d just drop that shit and beg me to fuck her again but she didn’t. If anything she was more apprehensive than usual. Maybe she was having second thoughts. 

“There’s a change of clothes for you on the bed.” I said.  
“Whose are these?” She held up the panties on a single finger with a look of disgust.  
“No ones. They’re new.” I said.  
“You keep a stash of women’s underwear?” She raised her brow.  
“I find it comes in handy quite often.” I winked shamelessly.

She just rolled her eyes at me before turning away to step into them. I watched her so closely she must have been able to feel my gaze burning into her. She dropped the robe and I drank in the sight of her bare back while licking my lips. I took note of every beauty mark and curve. The little dimples just above her ass. I even caught a glimpse of some side tit to add to my spank bank before she slipped into my t-shirt. When she turned to me again I just bit my lip at her.

“So close.” I said as she sauntered over to me.  
“Yes well, you have many others to satiate that appetite.” She smacked her palm to my chest with a heavy thud.

I realized it wasn’t that she was apprehensive. She was fuckin’ jealous. That shit sorta tickled my balls but I wanted to show her that my intentions weren’t all bad. That maybe we could be somethin’ more. I don’t know what the fuck it was gonna be but it could be more than just fucking. So I took a firm hold of her wrist and peered into her enough to make her squirm a bit before placing a fresh cup of coffee in her hand. She let out a little breath before I let her go.

“Thank you.” She murmured.  
“Mhm.” I smirked and watched her retreat to the safety of my couch while I topped my coffee off. “So, my suspension is over.” She noted while she sipped.  
“It certainly is.” I said.  
“So, what’s the job today?” She persisted.  
“I don’t know. I took the morning off.” I shrugged  
“You can do that?” She asked.  
“I can do whatever the fuck I want.” I said.

I grabbed a book from my shelves and settled in next to her. Then I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to rest her head on my chest while I read. She was stiff at first, clutching her cup of coffee for dear fuckin’ life.

“What’s happening?” She asked, a little bit of panic in her tone.  
“Drink your coffee and shut up for a minute.” I sighed.

She made a face about it at first but after a minute I felt her relax. When she nestled her head more comfortably into place I stole a breath of her wet hair. We sat there quietly and listened to the sound of Al Green whispering from my turntable. And even though this cuddling shit was a new concept to me it felt so natural just holding her that way. I guess she felt it too because after a few minutes I felt her body sink deeper into me. I glanced down to find she’d fallen back asleep and at that moment I realized this little feral woman was finally comfortable enough to let her guard down around me. It made me smile like a fuckin’ idiot.

***

I don’t know when the fuck I fell asleep but when I woke up again she was gone. That asshole snuck out on me and hadn’t left any fuckin’ word as to where the fuck she ran off to. So I pulled my crap together and set off on a search for her. I stopped by the infirmary first and when I arrived old man Bran looked just as unenthused as usual to see me.

“Back for another jam session?” He smirked, referring to my last visit.  
“Fuuuuuck you… I’m lookin’ for my Little Bird.” I rolled my eyes.  
“Well as you can see…” He motioned to the empty room.

I was reaching my fuckin’ limit with this old bastard’s attitude. Being Lucille’s adopted dad may have put him in the safe zone but he was gettin’ too fuckin’ comfortable with all the shit-talkin'. I didn’t have time to bicker with him then so I tossed him an empty threat to secure my pride a bit.

“I’ll be back for your old tired ass later.” I pointed my bat and rushed out.

I searched my Sanctuary high and fuckin’ low and she was still nowhere to be fuckin’ found. I started searching the grounds thinking maybe she was on her usual run but still, I found nothin’. By the time I ran into David I was pissed and even a little worried. He was the last mother fucker I wanted to see at that moment but I was still a bit relieved she wasn’t with him.

“Hey boss.” He greeted me.  
“You seen my Little Bird around?” I asked.  
“She’s still out on the scavenge with Simon.” He said casually as fuck.  
“Scavenge?” I did a double take.  
“Yeah, they left this morning. Didn’t you-“  
“ _Right._ Of fuckin’ course! Jesus, maybe I should’ve taken the whole fuckin’ day off.” I pretended like I had a fuckin’ clue.

I sighed and gripped my face to try to contain my anger at that moment. Lucille had been out all fuckin’ day without my fuckin’ permission, putting herself in harm's way. She could have fuckin’ died out there and I wouldn’t have been able to protect her. Not only that, but I had every intention of gettin’ my dick wet at some point that morning and she fuckin’ bailed on me. I was fuckin’ pissed.

Only a minute later the trucks came roaring back through the gates. I gave David a firm pat on the back and sent him on his way before I rushed over. Some of my Saviors were hauling out an injured troop and rushing her to the infirmary. For a moment my fuckin’ stomach dropped until I realized it wasn’t Lucille. When I looked up again and I finally found her tiny ass hopping off the tailgate of a truck. She was covered in fuckin’ biter blood but she was safe. The look on my fuckin’ face must have said it all ‘cause when she finally spotted me she looked scared as shit.

 _‘What the fuck’_ I mouthed.

I was about ready to storm over there, throw her deceitful little ass over my shoulder and teach her a fuckin’ lesson until Simon strolled up. He was briefing me on the day's events but I could barely keep my focus. From the corner of my eye, I saw her escape my clutches again but not for fuckin’ long.

***

Another perk of bein’ the man in charge is I have a key to _every_ fuckin’ room of this building. -Including Lucille’s. I hadn’t allowed myself to take advantage of that fact before but all bets were fuckin’ off. If she wasn’t playin’ fair, neither was I. And you can bet your fuckin’ titties I was gonna make the most of this shit. Playin’ dirty is my fuckin’ forte. When I got to her room I knocked first but there was no answer of course so I allowed my fuckin’ self in. I wasn’t surprised to find she wasn’t there but she’d have to come back sooner or later. So I settled in and got comfortable. 

It wasn't much longer before she came rushing into her room lookin’ so god damn pleased with herself. She squeaky fuckin’ clean. Fresh out of another fuckin’ shower and it was almost a shame ‘cause I was about to soil the ever living fuckity fuckin’ fuck outta her. She closed and locked her door behind her and when she turned around she sure as shit wasn’t expecting to see me. When she did she stumbled back and let out a little shriek.

“Oh Jesus!” She gripped her chest.  
“We need to have a talk.” I casually laced my fingers.  
“How did you get in here?” She let out a heavy breath.  
“You _do not_ go on outings without discussing it with me first.” I ignored her question.  
"Would you have let me go if I'd told you?" She asked.  
"Probably not." I said.  
"Then you're not really giving me a choice here. You can't just lock me up in your room all day." She said.  
"Says who?" I smirked.  
"It's safe to say you might not be kidding." She mumbled.  
"It's not a bad idea. My Little Bird tucked safe in a cage." I said and she just scoffed.

She tried to avoid me by busying herself and putting away her things. She was refusing to face me at all because she knew she was in deep shit. She just didn’t know how fuckin’ deep… _yet_. When she heard me push back and stand from my seat she froze and dared to steal a glance over her shoulder.

I sauntered up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. When I touched her goosebumps lifted over her damp skin and I could already feel her fuckin’ caving. It was so fuckin’ effortless. She trembled when I ran my hands down her belly and barely reached the tips of my fingers into her shorts. She thrust her hips forward in the hopes that I’d keep going but I made her fuckin’ wait. Instead, I slid my hands back up and wrapped one around her neck and the other around her hair. I pulled it just enough to make her cringe and I could already feel my dick hardening against her low back.

“You will not leave without permission again. Do you understand?” I growled.  
“Yes sir…” She shivered.  
“I’m gonna have to punish you for this. You know that right?” I asked.  
“Yes sir…” She repeated.  
“Turn around.” I released her.

She turned to me with wide pleading eyes so brought my hand under her chin. I leaned in so close I could feel her breath on my lips but I pulled away again. I teased her until she was dancin’ on the tips of her toes before I finally gave in. When our lips finally touched I graze her with my tongue and she moaned into my mouth. That beautiful fuckin’ sound reminded me of the first time I’d had a taste of her. How I’d been dreamin’ of divin’ into that sweet pussy ever since. I knew this was gonna be worth the fuckin’ wait so I didn’t rush it. I wanted to revel in every fuckin’ bit of her first so I forced our lips apart again.

“Take off your clothes.” I said.

I stepped back and took a seat on the edge of her bed and just waited for her little striptease. She was too shy at first, fiddling her fingers and stalling. It was surprising considering she was bold as fuck on any other given occasion. So to light a fire under her ass I slipped my belt from its loops and gathered it in my fist. Her bright green eyes flickered at the sound of leather creaking in my hand. It was enough to get my fuckin’ point across. 

She started with her boots first, slipping them off each foot to reveal mismatching socks. I kinda huffed to myself. Of course she wouldn’t bother matching her socks like anyone else would naturally fuckin’ do. As she slipped them off she sort of stumbled and tossed them aside into the rest of the mess in her room. She was still hesitant as she nibbled her lips so I snapped my belt at her. It made her jump before she started slowly peeling away each layer of her clothing. 

After all the sinful fuckin’ things we’d done together, it was some sort of fuckin’ miracle that I hadn’t seen her naked. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my cock as I watched her, anticipating and revering every fuckin’ inch of skin she revealed to me. When she was finally naked, fully fuckin’ vulnerable in front of me I waited longer still. I drank her in. I let my eyes wander and linger wherever they pleased because she was a fuckin’ vision.

Lucille was fuckin’ breathtaking. More beautiful than anything I could have possibly imagined or concocted in my mind. She had smooth, shapely hips. Sun-kissed skin so silky and rich that it looked like it could melt on my tongue. Perfect perky tits. When I finally pulled my gaze away to look her in the eyes she was fidgeting and flushed. She was embarrassed like she’d never done something like this before. Like she was pure and innocent. -But she was far fuckin’ from it and I was gonna fuckin’ prove it.

“Come here.” I motioned.

She tiptoed over to me until she was standing between my legs. Her naked body was inches from mine and all I had to do was reach out and fuckin’ touch her. All she wanted me to do was fuckin’ touch her, but I didn’t. Instead, I lifted the belt in my hand and ran it over her skin. Her breath got heavy while I traced the lines of the tattoo under her tits. It was a bird with its wings spread wide. The feathers were laced with blooming roses. I’d only gotten a glimpse of it before and maybe that was where I came up with her pet name. Maybe it was buried in my subconscious somewhere. Now I examined every line, every detail, every bit of shading between every stroke. I traced them.

As I continued to run the leather under each one of her tits, her pretty pink nipples hardened. My mouth started to water while I watched them lift to perfect little peaks. I had to resist reaching up for a pinch ‘cause I wasn’t done fuckin’ with her yet. This was a fuckin’ punishment after all. So I drew that shit out even longer. I ran the cool leather down to her hip and traced another tattoo. More roses that cascaded down the top of her thigh. I did the same to them. Brushing my belt over every line of ink.

When I moved back up again the leather grazed the edge of her sweet pussy and I heard a sharp intake of breath. I wondered how fuckin’ wet she was at that moment. How bad she wanted me to sink my fingers inside her and let some of that sweet honey drip. I had to have a little taste of somethin’. So I leaned forward a took a bite. I chomped down on the highest point of her hips and she yelped and gasped. When she pulled away I took hold of her wrist and yanked her back again. I used my belt to spank the fuck out of her and she cried out.

“Hold still.” I commanded.  
“Yes sir!” She panted.

I tested her again. I leaned forward and when my beard tickled her tender flesh she tensed a bit but she kept still. I glanced up to see her wincing in anticipation while her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. I took a bite. -And another, _and another_ from one hip to the other. She squeaked and squirmed but she didn’t pull away that time. So I rewarded her by slipping a couple fingers inside her. I glided the fuck in. She was fuckin’ soaked and throbbing around my fuckin’ touch.

“God damn…” I drawled. “Is that all for me?” I smirked.  
“Mhm…” She moaned.  
“What was that?” I spanked her.  
“Yes sir!” She yelped.

I pulled my fingers free and spun her around to get a look at her sweet ass. It used to be my favorite part but after seeing the rest of her I couldn’t fuckin’ say anymore. I loved every fuckin’ inch of her. Every fuckin’ morsel of skin was a fuckin’ treat that I had to fuckin’ have. So I cupped her ass and kneaded it. I spread it apart before slipping back between her legs. By then she was dripping down her thighs and I ran my belt up and down her wet slit. She purred as it grazed her clit.

“Get down on your knees. I want to fuck that pretty little mouth again.” I said.

I took hold of her neck and eased her down to my feet. When I unzipped my pants my dick sprung out right in her fuckin’ face, landing on her cheek with a light smack. She flinched when I took hold of her hair and brought her lips to the tip. This wasn’t new territory. I’d seen her swallow my whole dick before. So when I hit the back of her throat and she pulled away from me I punished her.

“Get the fuck back here! I know you can do better than that!” I pushed her head back down. 

She croaked and coughed before she struggled enough to pull herself free again. A thick string of drool dribbled off her lips as she panted as she glared up at me. 

“What the fuck was that? Are you even fuckin’ trying?” I berated.  
“I _am_ trying!” She lipped off.  
“Excuse the fuck outta me but did you…? Did you just talk back to me doll?” I smirked darkly and her eyes widened before I took hold of the back of her neck. “Open up your fuckin’ throat and swallow that shit! Do it right!” I plunged.

This time she did what she was fuckin’ told. I buried myself all the way down. Hell, I must have been dippin’ in her fuckin’ belly I was in so deep. She gagged around my dick but I continued to fuck her face and I didn’t stop until her eyes started welling up. When I finally pulled away tears were streaming down her cheeks and she swallowed a gulp of air.

“See now that wasn’t so bad was it?” I laughed as clutched her throat and shook her head. “What do you say? Can you say, ‘thank you’?” I condescended.  
“Thank you.” She rasped.  
“That’s a good girl…” I brushed my thumb over her swollen lips.

She melted into my praise and gazed up at me with teary eyes. She was fuckin’ swooning. No matter how fuckin’ mean or rough I was with her it only seemed to make her that much more smitten with me. It made me practically fuckin’ squirm in delight. This girl was just as fuckin’ filthy and deviant as I was. We both wanted me to fuckin’ defile and degrade her. We were a perfect fuckin’ fit. And now that we were both plenty lubed up it was time to seal that fuckin’ deal.

“Now, come here. Come show me what you did to David.” I laid back on her bed.  
“I don’t want to talk about him.” She crossed her arms and pouted like a fuckin’ child. Like I’d just _now_ crossed the line.  
“No? I thought you liked him.” I smirked.  
“Not as much as I like you.” She blushed.  
“That’s right because I’m the only one who will fuck you like I hate you.” I laughed.  
“Do you?” She asked coyly.  
“No, Little Bird. No, I don’t hate you.” I lowered my voice.

I sat up to grab her ass and squeeze it more gently. Started kissing the bruises that were already forming where my teeth had been. I brushed my lips back and forth over each brand I’d left in her skin. When I glanced up at her again her expression had changed. She was glowing and her eyes were glimmering with this look like deep affection… admiration… _trust_. I don’t know why but it fuckin' pierced me and I had to look away. It made my stomach feel tight and uncomfortable. So I switched the tone again.

“-But you’re a pain in my ass.” I yanked her into my lap and whipped her.

When her pain subsided she kissed me so deeply that I felt her dripping onto my thighs. I pulled away and laid back again to let her crawl on top of me. She sat up just enough so we could both watch as she placed the tip of my dick at her entrance. Her pussy was so tight I actually wondered if she could handle the fuckin’ beast. We all know my dick is no easy fuckin’ feat after all. Her eyebrows furrowed up before she took a deep breath and eased me in. I felt a fleshy sort of pop as her tightness gave way and she relaxed. She let out a little whimper as she slowly eased down my length and finally engulfed me in her slick fuckin’ walls. It was so fuckin’ hot and wet I wanted to drown in it.

“Oh fuuuuuck…” I hissed between my teeth. “Atta-fuckin-girl!” I smacked her ass.

When I looked up into her eyes again I saw pure fuckin’ lust. It dilated her pupils to where I could only barely see the green I’d gotten lost in so many fuckin’ times before. I reached up and brought her lips to mine and kissed her again before I bit down on her lip. She wrapped her arms around me and ran her fingers through my hair and pulled like she couldn’t bring me in close enough. I felt it too. The need to be deeper. So I started bucking my hips underneath her and she threw her head back and moaned my name. She fuckin' sang for me. 

Between every thrust I slapped her. Choked her. Bit her. I inflicted every sort of fuckin' pain I could imagine on her and she fuckin' ate that shit up. Before long her legs started to shake as she leaned back and started gyrating her hips. Holy fuck she was fuckin’ phenomenal. I don’t know how the fuck I didn’t cum in seconds but I was surprised when she only lasted a few minutes. Her whole body trembled on top of me as she dug her nails into my sides. I felt the fuckin’ floodgates open up and she poured over me. Her pussy clenched and quivered around me so hard I thought she might snap my fuckin’ dick off.

“Oh my god Negan! Oh fuck! I’m- I’m cumming!” She cried out.

I gazed up at her watched her plummet into her orgasm. She had this beautiful fuckin’ expression on her face like the pleasure was bordering on agony. She brought her shaking hands up to her mouth and her voice cracked as she reached her peak. All the sudden her body spasmed and she had to grip my shoulders to steady herself. When she finally came back down again she was limp and out of breath.

“Fuck sake! Is that all it takes?” I laughed at her. “You better toughen the fuck up. You’ve got a lot more work to do.” I shoved her onto her back.

She didn’t resist when I rolled on top of her. In fact, my Little Bird spread her wings wide fuckin’ open and let me settle in between her thighs for the rest of the night. Hell, I fucked her until she was beggin’ me to stop. I bent and twisted her into every fuckin’ position I could fuckin’ think of. Each one felt a little different. She stroked my cock in all the right ways to satiate my fuckin’ appetite. By the time I was done, she’d cum more times than I could fuckin’ count. And I blew one big fuckin' load on her beautiful fuckin' face.


	14. 'Lucy'

I stayed in Lucille’s room that night. She laid in my arms and fell asleep to the feeling of my hands brushing through her tangled hair. The same hands that had inflicted so much fuckin’ pain and agony that I’d left marks everywhere on the poor girl. Long, red streaks and deep bruises stained her perfect skin. While she slept I caressed them. I kissed each and every fuckin’ one. I almost felt disgusted with myself. That I had the kinda sick fuckin’ malice in me to willingly rip apart someone who looked so angelic when she slept. 

-Of course, that’s just fuckin’ pillow talk. To call her an angel was a crock of fuckin’ horse shit. She was no fuckin’ angel. My Little Bird may have been learning a thing or two about obedience in the sheets but she was still a total bitch in the streets. -But I’d actually grown to kinda like that about her. And anyway, I may have been the only person to ever witness that other side of her. That small, masochistic girl hiding behind the rough and tough exterior she portrayed.

I know what the fuck it was about. She saw her asshole of a father in me. -But not in a weird, incestuous, ‘I wanna fuck my dad’ kinda way. It was more like… she wanted me to fill a void. She wanted all the attention and doting she’d never fuckin’ had. The thing is the little affection she did know was laced and tainted with violence. It was all she ever knew and that detrimental upbringing left her with scars. Scars that she wanted to reclaim and make her own and she wanted _me_ to help her do it.

Now that all sounds mighty presumptuous of me but as we all know I’m a presumptuous kinda guy. And the reason I knew all that without a fuckin’ doubt is 'cause we were the same fucked up breed. It just so happens I liked to fill the void with dominance and a big ol’ dick. So, you see, in a way we complemented each other. 

The only problem was, we both carried a shitload of baggage and we were too fuckin’ stubborn to try and lighten the load. Too cynical to trust anyone or ask for help. We’d been conditioned to trust no one and _that_ is what always ended up fuckin’ us in the end.

***

The next day we woke up bright and early after a damn good sleep. Surprising since I don’t even like sharing my _own_ fuckin’ bed but there was somethin’ about hers. It wasn’t comfortable by any fuckin’ means. It was just a fuckin’ twin mattress stacked on a pile of wooden crates for fuck sake, but I liked being tangled up in her smell. I’m not really sure how to describe it. It was kinda warm… a little bit sweet. When I took a deep breath of her, it made my chest feel… full. -I don’t know. I’m not good at all the romantic bullshit. I just know when she tried rollin’ her sweet ass out of bed, I didn’t want her to go. So I yanked her back in my arms and nuzzled her neck for another whiff. I liked the way it made her giggle.

“What did I tell you about sneaking away?” I kissed.  
“I’m not sneaking away. I just need a drink of water.” She said.

When she tried to leave again I tightened my grip. I made her squeal when I roughed up her hair but she managed to wiggle herself free. I just grinned and watched her shake her bed head over her shoulder, exposing her back. Overnight my bite marks had darkened into deep purple blotches. I cringed a bit thinking maybe I’d gotten outta fuckin’ hand. The shit looked painful. When I reached forward to brush my fingers over them she blushed.

“Do they hurt?” I asked.  
“A little.” She shrugged.  
“Shit… I’m sorry darlin’…” I said.  
“Don’t be.” She bit her lip at me.

My sweet little fuckin’ masochist. With that look alone I was about ready to jump her bones all over again but first I needed some fuckin’ coffee. So I hopped outta her bed and started searching her cabinets but god knows that was a total fuckin’ loss. Nothing was where you’d expect it to fuckin’ be.

“Where the hell do you keep your fuckin’ coffee filters?” I grumbled.  
“I don’t have any. All I have is the instant stuff.” She said.  
“Instant coffee? -Fuckin’ gross.” I sneered.  
“Just let me make some for you. I dress it up pretty well.” She said.

By then she’d slipped into my t-shirt but it fit her tiny ass more like a dress. Cute as it was I couldn’t help thinkin’ she looked better naked and I just couldn’t keep my fuckin’ hands off her. While she started prepping our coffee I wrapped my arms around her waist and I kissed her shoulders. I watched her work the instant crystals into a paste and grimaced. I couldn’t tell if she makin’ coffee or a fuckin’ mud pie but she watered it down and added a dash of vanilla and it finally started comin' together. When she handed me a cup I sniffed it before taking a cautious sip. Meanwhile she drank her own without a battin’ a fuckin’ eye while she waited for my verdict.

“This is fuckin’ terrible.” I said bluntly.  
“You know, it’s impolite to criticize your hosts coffee.” She scowled.  
“How can you be a host in my house?” I set that crap aside to wrap my arms around her again and squeeze her ass.  
“I don’t have to let you in here.” She giggled.  
“I’ve got a key remember?” I smirked.  
“How could I forget?” She said.

I sure as fuck hadn’t forgotten and the memory of being buried eight inches inside her was all I fuckin’ needed to get my stamina back. I pulled her into a kiss and lifted her onto the countertop. She wrapped her legs around me and while our tongues twisted and tangled our hips started to grind. I reached down and slicked a finger over her clit. She was already fuckin’ soaked and hot to the touch.

“Ooh damn… I want that. Give me that.” I grinned and bit my lip.

I spread her legs wide and we both fuckin’ watched me press my dick against her entrance and slowly sink into her. Her thighs shook and she threw her head back when I was finally balls fuckin’ deep. I pushed her down onto the counter and laid her out like a fuckin’ feast. I took her nipples between my lips and licked and nibbled them until her hips started thrusting off the edge of the counter. She moaned my fuckin’ name and I was just about to pick up the fuckin’ pace when someone came fuckin’ knockin’.

“What up Lucy? Open up, it’s me, David.” He called and she bolted upright.  
 _”Lucy?”_ I scoffed.

I’ll be fuckin’ damned if that shit kickin’ asshole was gonna cock block me so I pressed my hand over her mouth and kept fuckin’. Her eyes were wide with panic at first but the second I took a bite of one of her sweet nipples her lashes fluttered shut. She was sooner distracted by trying to stifle her fuckin’ moans into my palm. -But that persistent mother fucker knocked again.

“Lucille?” He called and I dropped my hand in frustration.  
“Uh! Hey, David… N-Now’s not a good time.” She panted.  
“Are you alright?” He asked and I rolled my eyes but I sure as shit didn't stop.  
“Y-yeah. Ah… I’m fine, I’m… I’m just not decent.” She wasn't fuckin’ lying.  
“Come on. It’s nothing I’ve never seen before.” He said.

Now that shit was the final fuckin’ straw. This asshole needed to know that shit wasn’t okay anymore. Lucille was fuckin’ mine now and I was gonna make that shit clear as fuckin’ day. I pulled out, yanked my pants on and stormed for the damn door while Lucille came scrambling after me.

“Negan, wait! What are you doing?” She hissed.  
“Settle down.” I sighed and reached for the handle.  
“Oh my god.” She cupped her face and cowered behind me in shame.  
“For fuck sake! Get a fuckin’ clue already!” I yanked it open.

David looked shocked to see me at first so I gave him a minute to assess the fuckin’ situation. I let the door swing wide open to give him a clear fuckin’ view. His eyes looked over me with my pants unzipped and barely hangin’ on. Then he looked over at Lucille who was bare-assed naked besides my t-shirt. We looked every bit like we’d been fuckin’. There was no denying it.

“Wow. Okay.” He forced his eyes away.  
“What do you want?” I asked.  
“Nothing.” He shot Lucille a look. “Absolutely nothing.”  
“David-“ She started to try and mend the situation but I lifted a hand to stop her.  
“Get the fuck outta here.” I told him and slammed the door in his fuckin’ face. “There. Problem fuckin’ solved.” 

I clapped my hands clean of that shit and was ready to get right back to fuckin’ business. Lucille, on the other hand, was already stompin’ off in another one of her fits. She had her arms crossed tight over her chest with that bratty little frown on her face again.

“Goddammit, Negan!” She growled.  
“What?” I laughed.  
“You know exactly what! How could you do that?” She whined.  
“Relax. He’ll get over it.” I said.  
“This was supposed to stay between us!” She motioned.  
“He’s not gonna tell anyone.” I said.  
“And what if he does?” She challenged.  
“I’ll kill him.” I shrugged.  
“No, Negan. You can’t do that.” She said.  
“I can do whatever the fuck I want.” I said.  
“Listen, whether you like it or not, David is my friend!” She carried on.  
“Not anymore he’s not.” I chuckled.  
“That’s not funny, Negan! This isn’t a joke!” She shouted.  
“I think it’s pretty fuckin’ funny.” I shrugged again but she was gettin’ madder by the second.  
“It’s not funny! ” She stomped her foot.  
“You’re acting like a child.” I condescended.  
“And you’re acting like a geriatric asshole!” She spat back but I just fuckin’ laughed. She was so damn cute when she was angry.  
“Listen ‘Lucy’,” I kept pokin’. “I know David is your friend. I may have my own reservations about the fucker, but the fact is, he’s a damn good Savior and he saved your ass. Now, I know you would have liked to soften the blow to his ego, but he needed to know. Hell, he deserved to know. And now that he knows I can start letting go of those reservations and get back to the matter at hand.” I said.  
“What matter?” She asked.  
“These blue balls.” I grinned.  
“I’m not in the mood anymore.” She pouted.  
“You’re not?” I sauntered up close enough to feel her body against mine and reached between her thighs again.  
“You’re such an asshole.” She sighed but she was fuckin’ powerless.  
“That’s twice now that you’ve called me an asshole. Say it one more fuckin’ time I dare you.” I gripped her chin.  
“You’re an asshole.” She took the bait.  
“Oh, so you’ve got balls now huh? Get the fuck over here!”

I yanked her by the arm and ripped my shirt off her back. I took a firm grip of her hair and kissed her so deep her legs got weak. She stumbled a bit and tried to pull away but it was fuckin’ useless. That little fuckin’ brat might have thought she’d gotten the last word but I was gonna get mine. So I drug her little ass over to her mirror to show her who the fuck she belonged to.

“Baby… Look at yourself. How the hell were you gonna explain all that to David? Huh?” I asked.

Her mirror was a little cracked but her reflection was clear enough. She blushed as she looked over the brands I’d left all over her skin. She timidly clutched her arm and sorta shied away from her reflection like she didn’t want to see it. Like all the sudden she wasn’t so fuckin’ proud to wear my marks. 

“No, no, no! Look at yourself! Tell me how the fuck you thought you were gonna explain that shit to him!” I demanded.  
“I wasn’t- I-“  
“Right. _You_ weren’t gonna say shit so I did it for you. I saved you the fuckin’ trouble. And now that he’s finally gotten the fuckin’ hint it’s time for you to catch the fuck up too. Now look at yourself and tell me what you fuckin’ see.” I said.  
“Wh-what?” She turned to me and gasped when I grabbed her and pinned her against my chest. I gripped her chin and forced her gaze into the mirror.  
“You see that?” I pointed. “That’s my dirty little whore right there. Isn’t it?” I asked.  
“Yes sir.” She nodded.  
“Yeah? Say it!” I smacked her cheek.  
“I’m your dirty little whore!” She whined.  
“That’s fuckin’ right. Now you see all those bites? I want you to take a good fuckin’ look. I want you to remember who the fuck gave those to you. I want you to know that means you are fuckin’ mine now. Whatever the fuck you and David had, that shit is fuckin’ over. Are we fuckin’ clear?” I asked.  
“Y-Yes sir…” She shivered.  
“Good girl. Now you’re gonna watch me fuckin’ own that pussy. Get down on all fours. Crawl over to that mirror for me.” I sighed.

She sure as shit did what she was fuckin’ told and she didn’t stop until I fuckin’ told her to. She was just about nose to nose with her reflection before I took hold of her hips and mounted up behind her. I ran my hands down to her ass and spread her plump cheeks apart before I fuckin’ plunged back inside her. My hips crashed against her so hard it sent ripples over her skin. It was hard to pull my eyes away from the way it made her ass jiggle. When I did I found her crying out with her head hanging down so I took a fist full of her hair and forced it up again. She cried out when I started poundin’ her so fuckin’ hard that her chest ended up pressed against the floor.

It wasn't much longer before she was climbing her fuckin’ peak. I could feel it. Her hot, throbbing wetness engulfed me. It made me fuckin’ weak in the fuckin’ knees. I pulled her back onto the floor with me, lifted her into my lap and took hold of her neck. I squeezed until a raspy little whimper croaked from her trembling lips and her eyes rolled back. Then I released my grip and she swallowed a gulp of air just in time as she fuckin’ plummeted and took me with her. It felt like pure fuckin’ bliss when I finally came inside her and staked my fuckin’ claim.

***

A few days later I was overseeing my Sanctuary. Keepin’ tabs and checkin’ off my lists as usual. All the while I kept my eyes peeled for David. Now that I’d severed he and Lucille’s ties we could finally get back on good terms. Whether or not he was still pissed, he knew the fuckin’ deal. He was there to do his fuckin’ job as a Savior and that shit came first and fuckin’ foremost. Sure what I did was a little seedy and cruel but I’m the kinda guy that takes what he fuckin’ wants. That’s the new dynamic of this world. You _have_ to be cruel to get ahead and that’s why I run this fuckin’ place like a well-lubed machine.

Anyway, later that afternoon, I spotted David amongst a few of my other Saviors. They were gathering and preparing for a scavenge when I approached. I drew out a long familiar whistle and they parted and fell into attention, waiting for my command.

“At ease gentlemen. I’m just makin’ my rounds. David, why don’t you join me. We’ll have us a little chit-chat. Man to man.” I said.

I threw an arm over his shoulder and led him away. He followed suit but was tense like he had a stick up his ass. He hadn’t made a fuckin’ peep and it was clear he was still a little bitter but he knew better than to speak outta line so I gave him a start.

“So you wanna talk about it?” I asked.  
“What’s there to talk about?” He sighed.  
“Well, it seems we have similar taste in women. I mean, not that I have a very specific fuckin’ taste. Just hot mostly.” I made light of it.  
“Yeah, exactly. It doesn’t make a difference to you. You’ve got five other hot wives. Why her?” He asked.  
“Why fuckin’ not?” I asked but he just shook his head in frustration and looked away. “Listen, D, you and I have a good thing here. You’re one of my top guys. It’d be a damn shame to let a little tail come between us. Now, I know you’re probably a little sore about the whole thing but you’re no schoolboy bitch. I mean, it’s not like you were in love with the girl were you?” I asked.  
“If I was would it matter?” He asked.  
“Bullshit! You weren’t in fuckin’ love with her. Your dick’s just lonely. All you need is a good ol’ fashioned fuck. Why don’t you take a spin with my Kitten? She’ll help you get your mind off things.” I said.  
“No, no thanks. I’m good.” He refused.  
“Come on, D. She’s been beggin’ for a bone ever since she first laid eyes on you. You’re tellin me you’re not the least bit curious what her titties look like?” I leaned in close. “Not to spoil the surprise but… they are fuckin’ phenomenal.” I nudged him until he let out a slight chuckle.  
“I don’t know…” He shook his head.  
“Tell you what. Why don’t you just let all of them join you for dinner tonight and you can pick whoever you like? Fuck em’ all if you want so long as they’re willing.” I suggested.  
“I’ll think about it.” He caved a bit.  
“Attaboy!” I jabbed his shoulder.

Even though he just sorta shrugged it off I could tell he still wasn’t all that thrilled. I kinda wondered if maybe Lucille had casted her spell on him too. I wondered how close they’d gotten without me realizing it. Were they closer us? How deep was this shit? I caught a hint of fuckin’ jealousy again so I left him with my final fuckin’ word.

“Listen, I am happy to share and accommodate you with my wives but 'Lucy' is a very fine exception. It took me a long fuckin’ time to catch my Little Bird. She’s my most prized possession. So you keep this between us, keep your dick to yourself and everything will be peachy fuckin’ keen for all of us. Got it?” 

I didn’t bother waiting for a response. I just laid a heavy smack on his back, swung my bat onto my shoulder and strolled along. Everything was peachy fuckin’ keen.


	15. Moonstruck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS! Can we just take a moment to applaud and recognize my girl CLADD for this update!? If it weren't for her I would still be sobbing over my laptop trying to put a decent chapter together. Girl, I love and appreciate you so much! I'm forever in your debt! THANK YOU! Please check out her work here on AO3 and leave her some love. She TRULY deserves every bit of it!

For the next few days, if I wasn’t on duty, I was somewhere between Lucille’s thighs. If I wasn’t, I was counting down the minutes until I was. I barely came up for air long enough to eat and sleep and that was only because I needed the fuel to keep going. I might have never left if Simon hadn’t informed me that the wives were starting to ask about me. Hell, I’d almost fuckin’ forgotten they existed at all.

I eventually paid them a quick obligatory visit. While I was there I asked them if David ever came around and took advantage of my offer. He fuckin’ hadn’t. That in itself wasn’t a fuckin’ problem. It didn’t make a difference to me whether he got his dick wet or not, but it was clear to me that he was still stuck on Lucille. My wives were prime fuckin’ pickins after all. They were some of the finest women left on this fuckin’ wasteland and no man in his right mind would turn down any of them unless he were a moonstruck son of a bitch.

Now, I’d like to think that wasn’t a fuckin’ problem either because David knew damn well that I would beat the ever-livin' fuckin’ fuck outta him if he ever put his hands on her again but I still wasn’t willing to bet on that shit. He and Lucille would cross paths eventually. They’d mend their friendship somehow and no matter how fuckin’ hard I tried I would never be comfortable with that shit. -But until then, I had other issues to attend to.

The wives started asking questions. They were getting restless wondering who the hell was taming my dick and why I didn’t come around the watering hole anymore. Left to their own devices I knew they’d start whispering amongst themselves and pretty soon that shit would start to trickle down through the rest of the ranks. My system had sprung a fuckin’ leak and I’d spent the better part of my day moppin’ up shit.

***

I called on my wife and former first lady, ‘Jackie O’. The only one I could really trust out of the five of them because I knew she didn’t have any sort of fuckin’ feelings about it. There were no strings between us. Just a mutual fuckin’ hustle. I hadn’t realized just how long it had actually fuckin’ been until she came sweeping into my room in her little black dress. I used to fuckin’ love the sound of high heels on a hard floor but now it almost sounded foreign to me.

“So you _are_ alive,” she teased  
“You girls get a poll goin’?” I asked.  
“Maybe,” she smirked at me.  
“What’d you bet on?”  
“You’re gonna die eventually,” she bluffed.  
“So it’s a long-term investment,” I laughed.  
“How do you want me?” she asked, already reaching for the hem of her dress.  
“Keep your panties on, darlin’. I am flattered that you would be so eager to please me but that’s not why I called you here today,” I told her.  
“Suits me.” She shrugged and I caught a hint of disappointment on her face before she smoothed her dress back into place.  
“Have a seat,” I motioned.

She kicked off her high heels and settled in on my leather couch. Without hesitation, she propped her painted toes up and helped herself to my glass of whiskey. That’s another thing I liked about Jackie. She wasn’t intimidated by me like most people. And, hell, she could take a harder ball-bustin' than most of these fuckin’ boys. I guess that’s why you could say we were more like friends with benefits.

“It’s recently come to my attention that you girls aren’t just sittin’ around bettin’ on the races. Now, I know I’ve told you before that what happens within your four walls is your business, but when that business involves _me_ , well, it’s my fuckin’ business,” I quipped  
“So this is about the ‘new girl’,” she stated.

Jackie was the only one I’d ever discussed Lucille with. She actually provided a decent word of wisdom which was impressive considering she had my dick in her mouth. I was almost sure I could trust her not to gab about my fuckin’ business with the girls but I had to turn every fuckin’ stone. When I tilted my head to the side and narrowed my eyes at her she was quick to lift her hands in defense. 

“I didn’t say shit,” she insisted.  
“And I didn’t say shit to anyone but you,” I challenged.  
“Look, you used to come around every day. Sometimes twice a day. Then all the sudden you disappear out of the blue. What did you think they were gonna talk about? They’ve got nothing better to do.” 

I sighed and ran a tired hand over my face. She was fuckin’ right. I knew this shit was coming and I could tell by her slouched demeanor that she wasn’t lying either. If anything she was fuckin’ bored. This shit didn’t fuckin’ matter to her but it mattered to some. It mattered to my fuckin’ enemies and I’ve got a lot more enemies than friends.

“So, what do you know?” I questioned  
“I know you’ve got some pot hidden in here somewhere and I’ll give you all the dirty details you want if you share,” she grinned.

Jackie was _always_ on the fuckin’ hustle. In the past, I would have made her work a little fuckin’ harder for it. Maybe a little anal or some shit but for the first time, I wasn’t really in the fuckin’ mood. Instead, I just rolled my eyes at her and strode to the desk in the corner of my room. I kept my stash tucked back in a drawer next to the engagement ring Lucille never fuckin’ accepted. Granted I never actually presented it to her but that was ‘cause she probably never would accept it. I thought about just handin’ it over to Jackie too but something stopped me. I just buried it deeper instead. 

When I settled in and flipped open the cigar box I was hit with the strong scent of green. I hadn’t touched it in weeks. Not since that afternoon with Lucille anyway but the smell brought back the memory like it was only yesterday. David Bowie’s ‘John I’m Only Dancing’ came to mind and I whistled while I stuffed and rolled a generous fuckin’ joint. I ran my tongue along the paper and smoothed the edges to a perfect roll before tossing it into Jackie’s lap.

“Spill it,” I ordered.

***

Later on that night I was too fuckin’ restless to sleep. I had a whole list of shit to deal with in the morning and I was dreading the damn day before I’d even clocked out for the fuckin’ night. -But my mind was too busy trying to figure out how the fuck I was gonna clean up the mess. 

At some point, I thought about twisting another joint for myself. I thought maybe it would knock me the fuck out and I could get some rest but I got distracted by the damn ring again. I just sat there over a glass of whiskey instead, rolling the diamond between my thumb and index finger. Watching the way it glistened in the light. _Damn,_ it was a nice ass rock.

If Lucille would have just fuckin’ accepted the god damn thing, none of this would’ve been a fuckin’ issue. She would've been safe with the rest of the wives. They’d have warmed up to her, got back to braidin’ each other's hair and found somethin’ else to yap about. -But being another wife just wasn’t who Lucille was. I knew that and the thing is I didn’t want her to change, but for fuck’s sake… I just wanted her to slow the fuck down. Get out of her fuckin’ head for once and follow my fuckin’ lead. Let me protect her.

It was somewhere between midnight and fuck my ass when I eventually found some sleep. And I was out cold when all the sudden there was a fuckin’ banging at my door. It startled the hell out of me. I thought we must have been under attack or some shit. I rolled outta my bed and stubbed my toe on the goddamn nightstand before I could catch my balance and storm for the door. Needless to say, I was a little more than pissed when I opened it.

“Someone better be fuckin dead!” I growled between my teeth and before I could even bring my eyes into focus, she started chirpin’. _Of fuckin’ course it was Little Bird._  
“How many wives do you have?” She demanded and I could already her tell her mind was goin’ a mile a minute.  
“What the fuck? What time is it?” I gripped my face.  
“I can’t sleep. I’ve been laying in bed driving myself insane thinking about this,” she brushed past me and allowed herself in.

I guess it was nice to know I wasn’t the only one losing sleep over marital issues. Still, I had enough fuckin’ courtesy not to go barging in her door in the middle of the damn night. Christ, this girl was gonna be the death of me.

“It’s three in the goddamn morning.” I glared up at the clock.  
“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t rest until I have some answers,” she insisted.  
“Shh… Shut up.” I lifted a tired hand to stop her.

I had no fuckin’ clue where the hell she was goin’ with that shit but whatever the hell she wanted to bitch about could wait until morning. So I fell back into bed and yanked her down with me. I wrapped my arms around her to keep her still but she squirmed out of my clutches.

“No, Negan! I’m serious! If I can’t sleep, neither can you!” She stood up, her hair a fuckin’ tousled mess.  
“If you were anybody else I’d fuckin’ kill you right now,” I sighed heavily.

I groaned and forced myself out of bed again. I drug my tired ass off to the bathroom to take a leak and grimaced knowing there wasn’t a chance to dodge this fuckin’ bullet. So I splashed some cold water on my face and accepted the sleep deprivation. There’s no fuckin’ rest for the wicked I guess.

“Five,” I finally answered as I shuffled out of the bathroom.  
“Excuse me?” she asked.  
“I have five wives,” I clarified.  
“So if you have five wives, what do you need me for?” she questioned.  
“I need you for inventory updates… point system numbers… general errands… shit like that.” I plopped down on the couch and threw my head back to rest my eyes.  
“That’s not what I meant,” she glared.  
“I don’t need you ... but I like you,” I assured her.  
“Like me like a friend or … ” I felt her settle in next to me.  
“I like you like a friend that gives really good blowjobs.” I popped open a single eye at her and just smirked.  
“And what if that’s not all I want?” she crossed her arms, challenging me.  
“You wanna be my wife?” I offered again.  
“I don’t like to share,” she scoffed.  
“Yeah, me either,” I yawned.  
“And you don’t see how maybe that’s a little fucked up and hypocritical?” she carried on.  
“What is the problem this time? Is it the wives? Because I’m not going to leave my wives for you. Whether you like it or not, I made a vow to protect and provide for those ladies. Now I may be a mean son of a bitch, but I’m a man of my fuckin word,” I defended.  
“Oh, you are so full of shit!” She rolled her eyes at me.  
“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I couldn’t help but laugh. 

The fuckin’ nerve of this little five-foot nothin’ woman never ceased to amaze me. She must have thought she was ten feet fuckin’ tall. She hopped her tiny ass up and starting pacing in front of me in another fuckin’ outburst. Flailing her arms while she went off on another tangent. Fighting a lost cause. I was too tired to fuckin’ resist it so I just rested my eyes and laid my head back again while I waited for her to wrap it up.

“Listen, I’d be lying if I said the wives didn’t bother me. Okay? I get your weird, fucked up sister wives situation. I get that you promised them a safe haven. I know if you ever left them you’d get the backlash and the rumors and people would start questioning your authority. Okay? I get it. So it’s not about _them_. This is about you thinking you can tell me what I can and can’t do, while you run around doing whatever the hell you want. You want to have your cake and eat it too,” She argued.  
“I love cake.” I grinned.

She stopped dead in her tracks. All the sudden her whirlwind of a hissy fit was over and her shoulders sagged in defeat. She was so fuckin’ tired of my shit and I couldn’t fuckin’ blame her.

“I can’t keep doing this on blind faith. You have to give me something, Negan. Anything,” her big green eyes pleaded me.

I’d been anticipating that moment. She was well past her limit and I couldn’t bull shit her or avoid the issue with another smart ass remark. That was the fuckin’ moment but I couldn’t fuckin’ say the words she wanted to hear. It was easy to put it off on me but she had to to make the choice herself.

Listen, who I am, what I do… It’s for the Sanctuary. I _am_ the fuckin’ Sanctuary and every person who lives in it. And Lucille, well, she had to be strong enough to bear the weight of that burden and know that I could never be hers and hers alone. That I couldn’t cater to her above all the rest. And if I knew then what I know now, I would have just told her to walk away to save herself the heartbreak. I should have just let her go.

‘Cause you see, the truth was, David was the fuckin’ good guy. He was the kinda guy that would treat her right. Fuck her sweetly. Let her have his whole fuckin’ world if she wanted it. He’d worship the ground she fuckin’ walked on. I was sure one day Lucille would wise up to that shit. That she’d realize that I’m the fuckin’ bad guy and she’d walk away from me. 

That shit fuckin’ scared me. And it scared me, that it fuckin’ scared me. ‘Cause I’ll admit, I didn’t treat her the best but that’s because I’m an insufferable asshole. I didn’t fuck her sweetly either because I would rather just fuck her brains out. And I sure as fuck wasn’t gonna give her the fuckin’ world because she could barely keep her own shit together. So yeah, I was the fuckin’ bad guy. I won’t argue that. But I _did_ worship the ground she walked on. 

I should have just fuckin’ told her that but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. That kinda shit made my fuckin’ balls sweat. I’d spent my whole god damn life repressing those kinds of emotions because that’s exactly the kinda shit that fucks everything up. So I just gave her what I fuckin’ could, hoping it would be enough.

“Lucille, I understand if this is something you can’t deal with, so I am giving you the option right now to walk away. Or you can stay and just enjoy this for what it fuckin’ is. For what it has to fuckin’ be. -But before you make that decision, I will give you this… In my whole entire Sanctuary darlin’, you are my favorite fuckin’ person, and if you walked away from me I’d miss the fuck out of you.”

She was still and quiet for a moment, nibbling her lip while she thought. Her brows furrowed and her eyes traced my face looking for something more but I had nothing else to fuckin’ give her. She sighed, clutching an arm over her shoulder. We were silent. The whole damn Sanctuary was silent. I could’ve sworn you could hear my heart fuckin’ pounding in my chest. 

I was prepared to watch her walk away but she didn’t. Instead, she tiptoed across the room and cuddled up beside me. She buried herself under my arm and nuzzled my chest. Neither of us said another word. I thought the longer she lingered there, the longer I felt the warmth of her skin against mine, my heart would slow down but it didn’t. And it wasn’t because I was scared, or pissed, or worried anymore. It was because I was fuckin’ moonstruck.

***

The following morning I was cranky as shit but it was all worth it to roll over and find my Little Bird tangled up in my sheets. I should have woken her up and put her ass to work but she looked so damn beautiful and peaceful that I let her sleep in. She didn’t even stir as I readied myself for the long ass day ahead and gave her a quiet kiss on my way out.

I went through the motions of my day doing no more than the bare fuckin’ minimum. I checked off my to do list slowly but steadily, saving the worst for last. I procrastinated to the very last minute until I couldn’t avoid the shit any longer. It was time to address the fuckin’ issue of my wives.

As I turned the corner to the roost I was hit with the fuckin’ smell. That powdery and sweet scent of expensive perfumes. That shit used to make my mouth water. I used to think of it as ripe fruit for me to pick but now it reminded me of a fuckin’ compost heap. It was thick and sour compared to the gentle musk of my Little Bird.

They must have heard me lugging my fuckin’ boots down the hall, ‘cause when I arrived they were ready and waiting. They were posing for me like mannequins as I entered the room. I’d hardly gotten a fuckin’ greeting out before they leaped on top of me like a pack of rabid fuckin’ squirrels lookin’ for a nut. Their hands gripped and groped me. Their lips brushed over my face and neck. Their cooing voices tickled my ears and all the while I felt like I was fuckin’ drowning.

***

The walk back to my room was long and hard. Longer and harder than my man bits, which by the way, had decided to sleep in with Lucille. Betty had to damn near suck the life outta me before she could get a fuckin’ drop. When I got to my room I took a minute to straighten myself up. I sorta shook my shirt out, hoping the smell of them hadn’t stuck to me. As I reached for the doorknob I almost hoped Lucille wouldn’t still be there because I knew it was written all over my fuckin’ face.

Lucille _was_ there but she wasn’t fuckin’ sleeping. She was wide a-fuckin-wake but she was so preoccupied digging through my shit that she hadn’t even noticed I was standing there, watching her. She’d found my fuckin’ stash. -Not the pot. I could give two shits about the pot. It was my other stash. A locked box that held every bit of incriminating evidence that proved my dumb fuckin’ ass had fallen in fuckin’ love with her. 

It wasn’t just the ring. It was the note she slipped under my door along with her Janice Joplin album. It was the hair tie I’d yanked from her hair the first time she blew me. The fuckin’ panties I’d pocketed after I literally fuckin’ ripped them off her. And that’s why I kept the key to that fuckin’ box on my person at all fuckin’ times.

“Looking for something?” My voice sent a visible chill up her spine before she spun around to face me.  
“What? No! I-I was just looking for a pen.” She lied and she was fuckin’ bad at it.

I’d barely taken a step toward her before she stumbled back into my desk. The drawer slammed shut behind her and her eyes widened with sheer fuckin’ panic. I sauntered up to her so close I could feel her body shivering against mine. When I lifted my hand she flinched, so I reached behind her nice and slow to retrieve a pen from my desktop. I handed it to her without a fuckin’ word and waited for her to dig herself even fuckin’ deeper.

“And paper,” She lied again and it was worse than the first time.

I reached again and picked up a notecard from the stack I kept conveniently placed right next to my fuckin’ pens. I held the card in front of her face which by then, was about as red as her ass was about to fuckin’ be. She couldn’t even look me in the eyes.

“Do you really think it’s wise to lie to me right now?” I growled deeply.  
“No.” She huffed.  
“Do you think you’re smarter than me, Lucille?” I asked.  
“I don’t know.” She mumbled.

Even then, caught in a dead ass knee deep fuckin’ lie, she had the god damn gall to undermine me. And just like that, my man bits were up and hard as fuck. I grabbed her by the hair and spun her ass around to press her back against me. I used my bat to pin her in place and took a deep fuckin’ whiff of her hair. I growled as I exhaled. 

“If you don’t know, then I will fucking teach you.”

I shoved her forward so her forearms were pressed against the desk, her ass was on perfect fuckin’ display. Then I set and pen and note card right under her nose. As I slid my hand down her back she tried to stand upright with another shitty attempt at explaining herself.

“Nope.” I shoved her back down again. “You’re not going to fuckin’ talk, you’re going to write. You’re going to write every god damn word I tell you. Pick up the pen.” I demanded.

She started to shake again when she heard the sound of my belt. I pulled it from my pant loops and gathered it in my hand before reaching for her panties. I yanked them down to her knees and slid my hand up the inside of her legs. I lingered between her thighs until I saw her skin lift. Then I reached back and laid a smack on her ass so hard her knees gave out and she gasped.

“Now write it. ‘Dear Negan,’” I started and that time when I spanked her, I used my belt.

The sound of leather whipping across the soft, supple skin of her ass rung out so loud it bounced off the walls. It made my fuckin skin hot when she let out a shrill whimper. I thought maybe it was too hard. Maybe I was crossing the fuckin’ line but she picked up the pen and kept writing. So I kept on fuckin’ spankin’.

“I am so sorry for ever betraying your trust.” _Smack!_ “Not just fucking once,” _Smack!_ “But twice now.” _Smack!_ I will never,“ _Smack!_ “Ever!” _Smack!_ “Go meddling through your shit,” _Smack!_ “Ever again! I am an asshole,” _Smack!_ “And I’m sorry!” _Smack!_

That last fuckin’ lashing. That shit sent her over the fuckin’ edge. She let out a throaty, guttural moan that broke into a sob. The sound of it was enough to make my heart race. The fuckin’ sadistic asshole in me was relishing in that shit but the second I saw a tear stream down her cheek I stopped. I cupped her ass softly and caressed the heat. I kissed it gently and trailed my lips up her spine and neck until I found her trembling lips. I kissed her deep and pressed my forehead to hers then I searched her glistening eyes. I thought surely I'd pushed her past her limits but despite the wetness of her tears, I saw fuckin’ fire. She was fuckin’ ready.

“Now finish it. ’Love, your Little Bird, your dirty girl, your nosy fuckin’ whore, Lucille.’” _Smack!_

I laid one final fuckin’ whip that made her knees give out again. She groaned and tightened her grip on the desk to steady herself. When she finally scribbled the last word I dropped my belt. I knelt down and continued to kiss away the pain I’d inflicted. I brushed my fingertips over the damn near crimson streaks across her ass. I could already tell those marks were gonna fuckin’ linger for a couple days.

“Sit down on the desk.” I ordered.

My poor doll clutched the note in her hand and wiped her wet lashes off on her wrist. She winced as she eased her sore ass onto the hard surface. I took hold of her ankles and lifted her feet onto my desk then slid my hands up her thighs to spread her wide. I had really laid the fuck into her but she was still dripping fuckin’ wet. My Little Bird was just as sick and fuckin’ twisted as I was. I couldn’t help but fuckin’ laugh to myself. It made her blush but how fuckin’ fucked up were we? I fuckin’ _loved_ it!

“Now, read it back to me word for word,” I said.

She struggled to make out her own scribbling at first but for every word she read aloud, I rewarded her. I slipped my fingers inside of her. First one, then two. Her clit was fuckin’ throbbing for me so I pet it gently. As she went on I gave her a little more pressure, a little quicker pace. Pretty soon I found myself buried between her thighs again, lapping up every fuckin’ drop of her. She didn’t even bother finishing the note and I didn’t bother making her. We just fell right back into routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I know this chapter took longer than usual to post and for that, I am very sorry. I won't drop my life story on you but my family and I have been going through some tough times lately. Everything is fine now and falling into place little by little. It will go back to normal soon but until then I appreciate your patience with me. I'm not giving up and I'm not going anywhere. I just have to prioritize get my shit together. Lots of love and gratitude to you always! Hope you enjoyed the fluff n' smut.


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